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April 27th, 2012

Never Taken A Stroll Through The Garden Of Heterosexuality Have You Hon…

Via Joe. My God., I see someone is having conniptions visualizing gay sex

“Permit me to clarify the definition. Sodomy is one MAN inserting his genitals into the mouth or anus of ANOTHER MAN. Say it again. Say it out loud so your ears hear it. Picture it in your mind. Picture Barney Frank and Elton John in action. Barney Frank putting his genitals into Elton John’s. That is what they want to tell us is normal€¦no wait€¦tell our children is normal. Into that ‘union’ they are asking permission to place children. Would you let them put YOUR grandchild into a sodomy-based family? Why would you let them do it to someone else’s child? Have normal people lost their minds?” -Crackpot “Coach” Dave Daubenmire.

Normal people don’t obsess about the sex their neighbors are having Dave, particularly when it’s sex that turns them off.  You on the other hand, clearly can’t seem to get it out of your head.

You have issues Dave. Let me try to address one of them.  If you think opposite sex couples wouldn’t do anything that grosses you or “normal” people out then you really don’t know much about what other people are up to. Perhaps that’s for the best. All in all, I wish sometimes I didn’t know myself.

See Dave…when I was a young gay man, back in the early 1970s, there weren’t many places I could go to get my weekly copies of The Washington Blade or The Advocate. You may of course assume these are gay porn since they’re gay publications and we homosexuals don’t have lives, we just have sex. But they’re newspapers, classifieds and ads for various sexually graphic other publications notwithstanding. And being a young gay man living in a world which at that time was loath to admit that such as I even existed, I needed a source of news and information for my community.

Back then there were no gay publications to be found at the local bookstores and newsstands, let alone the public libraries. There was no Internet.  If you were a gay American back in the early 1970s and you wanted news and information concerning your community you didn’t have a lot of choice.  Luckily for me growing up in the Washington D.C. suburbs, there was Lambda Rising. But to get there I had to borrow mom’s car and drive downtown. The Metro subway system wouldn’t reach out to my suburban neighborhood for nearly a decade.

So I was always on the lookout for a place closer to home where I could find my gay newspapers. One day, running errands for mom, I drove past a small strip shopping center near Wheaton Plaza, and I glimpsed a sign: ADULT BOOKS.

Well we all know what “adult” means don’t we? So working up the nerve (and I must have driven around that block several times…) I parked the car nearby and strolled in. I think I had just turned 21 but I might have been only 20 and in any case in Maryland then I only needed to be over 18.

The bookstore was small, a tad rundown, but neatly organized.  There were a few customers inside.  The front area of the store was your usual newstand layout with various magazines and newspapers on the shelves.  As you moved toward the back you saw more and more straight skin magazines of the Playboy/Penthouse sort.  Your usual softcore men’s magazine stuff.  I don’t think Playgirl had yet started publishing.  There was a door in the back with a sign over it that said You Must Be 18 or Over To Enter and a nice older lady sitting at a counter beside it. It took me a few minutes of wandering close, pretending to look at the other magazines before I worked up the nerve to enter that door. I’m certain the old lady at the counter had seen first time customers doing that dance many, many times before and she wasn’t fooled. She knew where I was headed.

Oh look…another room…I think I’ll have a look inside… Inside the door was another room about the same size as the front one.  The light in there was a bit harsher and the shelves seemed starker somehow. Nearly all the titles were wrapped in plastic, presumably to make people pay to enjoy their contents.  But the covers…oh gosh…

As I said, I was 20, maybe 21 and I thought I knew everything there was to know about how to have sex.  Well…no.  As it turned out, there were Lots of other ways.  Lots and Lots and Lots of other ways.  Being a gay guy I felt somewhat enlightened and tolerant by the fact that the thought of heterosexuals getting it on really didn’t bother or gross me out.  But clearly what I had been imagining was only the Reader’s Digest version.  Here before my eyes was the unabridged, and little Baptist boy me was horrified.  No…I won’t go into details.  The details aren’t important.

Eventually I worked my way clear to the back where, in a corner, was the Much smaller gay section. Once more I beheld a universe of sexual possibilities I really had absolutely no interest in, and many of which to be perfectly honest grossed me out considerably.  But I must also honestly admit there were some magazines back there that definitely tweaked my interest. Unsurprisingly these were the ones that matched the imaginings of sex I’d had since my hormones started percolating. Some of the guys in them were beautiful. During later visits I would actually buy a few of these.  But that wasn’t my goal just then.  Mostly I just wanted to see if I could get my newspapers and be out of there.  And sure enough, right at the very bottom of one of those shelves, were copies of the Blade and The Advocate, and nearby, a couple gay softcore titles I’d never seen before.  Playboy could sit in the front, but gay softcore had to sit with the straight hard core porn because…well…it was gay after all.

I much preferred going to Lambda Rising, but for about the next decade, when I couldn’t get downtown, I made the trek to ADULT BOOKS and got my newspapers.

So…dig it Dave…for almost a decade I had to walk a gauntlet of heterosexual pornography just to get my damn newspapers.

I am so sorry for you.  I mean…a coach for goodness sakes…and here you are like a freshly minted teenage boy so fascinated, so completely preoccupied with sex, and yet blissfully naive about it all.  How did that happen to a guy your age?  The thought of one man having oral sex with another grosses you out does it?  I could tell you things that heterosexuals do that would curdle your milk Dave.  You poor sorry soul.  I have a suggestion.  Never…Never…order up one of those adults only channels next time you’re on the road without your wife.  You might have a heart attack.

by Bruce | Link | React! (6)

June 17th, 2009

Heros Of The Culture War #455…Collect The Entire Series!

Nevada Senator John Ensign.  Republican.  Conservative.  Sexual moralist.  Fierce defender of Traditional Marriage.  Adulterer…

SEN. JOHN ENSIGN’S ADMISSION: ‘Last year I had an affair’

Calling it "absolutely the worst thing that I’ve ever done in my life," U.S. Sen. John Ensign admitted Tuesday that he had an affair with a campaign staffer last year.

It was with a staffer who worked on his senate campaign.  Oh…and her husband worked in his senate office.  Oh…  And He’s A Promise Keeper.

"If there was ever anything that I could take back in my life, this would be it," Ensign, 51, said Tuesday afternoon in Las Vegas, reading from a prepared statement in a brief news conference at which he took no questions.

But none of This

During the height of the scandal surrounding Bill Clinton’s affair with Monica Lewinsky, the Nevada Republican denounced the president’s conduct as "an embarrassing moment for the country."

‘I think we have to feel very sad for the American people and Hillary and Chelsea,’ he said.

Weeks later, Ensign would call on Clinton to resign. "I came to that conclusion recently, and frankly it’s because of what he put his whole Cabinet through and what he has put the country through," he was quoted saying at the time. "He has no credibility left," he added.

At the time, Ensign was in a tight Senate race with incumbent Harry Reid, an election he would ultimately end up losing. And he didn’t shy away from trying to exploit the moral trip-ups in Clinton’s personal life to benefit himself and the GOP.

"It could have a dramatic effect on Democrats like (President Nixon’s resignation after the Watergate scandal) had on Republicans in 1974," he said, according to a local AP article from September 14, 1998.

In fact, not only did Ensign envision the Lewinksy affair as a political boon for Republicans, he actively made it an issue in his campaign against Reid. At one point during the campaign, Ensign accused his opponent of having a double standard when it came to politicians and sexual dalliances. Reid, he argued, had been much tougher on former Sen. Robert Packwood — who resigned from the Senate under allegations of sexual harassment — than he was with Clinton.

Or This

Ensign would support amendment banning gay marriage

Sen. John Ensign, R-Nev., said he would support a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage.

Ensign cautioned that changing the Constitution should not be done lightly.

After evaluating the idea of President Bush’s recommendation of such an amendment Tuesday, Ensign said he believes it is necessary "to protect the institution of marriage in America."

"In order to defend the institution of marriage, uphold the rights of individual states and maintain the will of the people, I believe we are compelled to amend our country’s Constitution," Ensign said.

So many righteous defenders of marriage.  So many marriages needing defending from their defenders.  It wasn’t gay people who broke your marriage vows jackass.  It was you.  Stop blaming other people for your own pathetic failures of moral character.  We are your neighbors, not your scapegoats.  Leave us the fuck out of your problems.  If you had minded your own goddamned business instead of dumping your cheapshit bar stool moralizing on other people you might still have a reputation to defend, let alone a marriage.

by Bruce | Link | React!

May 12th, 2008

Heroes Of The Culture War…(collect the entire series!)

From The New York Times

When Vito J. Fossella Jr., the soon-to-be boy congressman, stood beside the young girls of a cheerleading squad at the Excelsior Grand catering hall in 1997, it seemed a particularly vivid version of Staten Island pageantry. Mr. Fossella — 32 and with Al Pacino looks — was on his way to becoming the sole Republican in New York City’s Congressional delegation at a spirited party billed as an evening of “pasta and politics.”

George H. W. Bush and Senator Bob Dole were there that night, strolling past the steaming trays of ziti and charging donors $1,000 each to pose for pictures. Sonny Bono was on his way from California to stump with them the next day. Mr. Fossella, the man of the hour, raised his hands, quieted the crowd, then launched into a rousing speech on cutting taxes and championing school choice.

Mr. Fossella, victorious with 62 percent of the vote, was so intent on getting to Congress that, according to The Staten Island Advance, he flew to Washington from Newark carrying the morning papers proclaiming his own victory only 10 hours after it was announced.

Once there, he established himself as a reliable member of his party. He voted to impeach President Clinton, followed President Bush’s war policies in Iraq, voted to eliminate financing for Planned Parenthood and supported a constitutional amendment against gay marriage.

And yet many of his Democratic colleagues did not regard Mr. Fossella as an ideological warrior…

Doubtless…not the gay ones…

Via The New York Daily News…

Fossella shuns his gay sister – source

Vito Fossella built a career as a staunch "family values" pol, polishing his image in his predominantly Catholic district with a string of anti-gay votes.

He even shuns his gay sister, Victoria Fossella, refusing to go to family events if she and her partner attend, a source close to the family said.

As congressman, Fossella voted to prohibit any funding for joint adoptions by gay couples.

He has voted for the Marriage Protection Amendment, a federal prohibition on gay marriage.

He also demanded housing funds be held back from San Francisco unless it repealed its domestic partnership law.

Nice family republican values kinda guy wouldn’t you say?

Oh yes…definitely…

In the nine days since the 43-year-old Mr. Fossella, who has served five terms in Congress, was arrested and charged after running a red light in Alexandria, Va., things have gone from not-so-good to pretty bad, with only a slender thread still staving off the worst.

Within days of his admitting that he was on his way to visit “some friends in Virginia” when he was stopped by the police, the New York tabloids began raising questions about the woman who came to retrieve him from custody, a former Air Force lieutenant colonel named Laura Fay. Then, on Thursday, he released a clipped statement from his office, saying that he had fathered a daughter, now 3, in an extramarital affair with Ms. Fay. 

…definitely…

Judgment Day For Congressman Fossella

Democratic and Republican Congressional officials are reportedly looking into Fossella’s mysterious and expensive trip to France in 2003 with his mistress, Laura Fay.

It was called a fact-finding mission to La Hague’s nuclear fuel reprocessing plants, according to the Daily News.

However, the Staten Island Republican was the only lawmaker authorized to go. And according to one committee member, it may have been less about nuclear power and more about fueling his relationship with the Air Force legislative liaison officer, the retired colonel who subsequently bore the congressman’s love child.

Should Fosella repay taxpayers for his travel expenses if investigators find he mixed pleasure with business? 

Listen for the right wing ‘phobes who bellyached about Tammy Baldwin’s domestic partner being allowed to fly with her, to blast Fossella for flying with his mistress to France on the government’s dime in, 3… 2… 1… Never.

If you have time to manage you’re neighbor’s personal lives it probably means you aren’t paying enough attention to your own.  Well adjusted heterosexuals don’t seek validation by trashing the lives of their gay neighbors.  When you see someone going on a crusade against homosexuality it’s probably because the stench of their own intimate lives has become too terrifying for them to contemplate.  Nobody goes looking for scapegoats if they don’t need any.

  
 

 

by Bruce | Link | React!

February 27th, 2008

Heroes Of The War Against Homosexuality…(collect the entire series!)

Card #12: Houston District Attorney Chuck Rosenthal:

“I think that this Court having determined that there are certain kinds of conduct that it will accept and certain kinds of conduct it will not accept may draw the line at the bedroom door of the heterosexual married couple because of the interest that this Court has that this Nation has and certainly that the State of Texas has for the preservation of marriage, families and the procreation of children. “Even if you infer that various States acting through their legislative process have repealed sodomy laws, there is no protected right to engage in extrasexual – extramarital sexual relations, again, that can trace their roots to history or the traditions of this nation.” -Chuck, arguing before the U.S. Supreme Court in Lawrence v. Texas

Ah yes…the preservation of marriage and families…

Resignation doesn’t end trouble for Houston’s top prosecutor

Rosenthal is back in the headlines again. Last December, as part of a federal civil rights lawsuit into how justice is meted out in the county, he turned over the (partial) contents of his government e-mail account. And what a batch of e-mails it was. Black ministers called for the Republican to resign because of racist material, including a cartoon depicting an African-American suffering from a "fatal overdose" of watermelon and fried chicken. There were adult video clips and love notes from Rosenthal to his secretary, his mistress during a previous marriage. "I love you so much," Rosenthal says in one. "I want to kiss you behind your right ear," he says in another. "Go spend time with your family," she admonishes him back.

Extrasexual extramarital sexual relations.  Extrasexual extramarital sexual relations.  Extrasexual extramarital sexual relations.  What the fuck?  There something in the water down there?

by Bruce | Link | React!

November 28th, 2007

Defending The Sacred Institution Of Marriage…

Rudy Giuliani stands tall for the heterosexual prerogative…

Giuliani continues his conservative shift

Favors fewer rights for same-sex unions

Former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani continues to discard the moderate and liberal positions of his past. The latest is civil unions for same-sex couples, which the Republican presidential candidate has been backing away from in recent months.

A campaign aide told the Globe this weekend that Giuliani favors a much more modest set of rights for gay partners than civil union laws in effect in four states offer.

Giuliani has described himself as a backer of civil unions and is frequently described that way in news reports. But he began distancing himself from civil unions in late April, when his campaign told The New York Sun that New Hampshire’s new law goes too far because it is "the equivalent of marriage," which he has always opposed for gays.

Giuliani’s aides offered little explanation of what specific rights he would support for same-sex couples.

Perhaps…a city expense account…?

‘Taxes funded Rudy Giuliani love trysts’

Rudy Giuliani faced fresh questions about his judgment last night amid claims that trysts with his mistress while he was New York’s Mayor cost taxpayers thousands of dollars.

The Republican presidential frontrunner’s record as New York mayor is already facing closer scrutiny after the indictment this month of his close friend Bernard Kerik, whom Mr Giuliani appointed as the city’s police chief.

According to records obtained by a respected US political website, Mr Giuliani billed New York City for tens of thousands of dollars in expenses for his security detail, who accompanied him on trips to Long Island while he visited his mistress.

Many of the security expenses were billed to obscure city agencies, such as the New York City Loft Board, giving the impression somebody did not want the expense claims to be linked to Mr Giuliani. The expense receipts tally the cost of hotel and petrol bills for police detectives who travelled everywhere with Mr Giuliani, according to the website, Politico.com.

More fun and games, from the folks morally qualified to tell gay people that our unions aren’t fit to be called marriages.  Tune in next week as Mike Huckabee explains how having a divorce rate three times that of Massachusetts means Arkansas covenant marriage laws are working to protect and preserve the sacred institution of marriage whilst same sex marriage in Massachusetts has been greatly weakening it…

by Bruce | Link | React!


Those Wacky Heterosexuals…(continued)

Via Slog…  Another reason not to check myself into an Ex-Gay ministry…

“A Consequence of Misuse of the Internet”

That’s how a New York judge has summed up this tragically effed-up mess, in which a 48-year-old man (who’d been posing as an 18-year-old Marine in online chat rooms) murdered his 22-year-old rival for the virtual affections of a middle-aged West Virginia mother posing online as an 18-year-old student.

The Associated Press untangles it all for you here.

You know…I’ve never lied about myself on the Internet…about my age or my looks or my income or anything.  Not on the Internet, not on the few dating sites I’ve tried.  I just don’t do it.  Believe that or not as you like, but I’ve never even used a pseudonym.  I’ve have always gone by my birth name online.  It’s not rectitude, it’s vanity.

by Bruce | Link | React!

November 10th, 2007

No! Not The Bison Head! Noooooo!!!!!

If the day ever comes that I start thinking about checking myself into an ex-gay ministry, it’ll be headlines like this that talk me out of it…

Ex-Wife Accused of Torching Bison Head

A southwest Idaho woman accused of setting fire to a mounted bison head at her ex-husband’s home faces arson charges. Police arrested Ryann Jean Stafford, 26, Thursday on a charge of third-degree arson, a felony.

Investigators said Stafford and her former spouse got into an argument at his home. But after he left the house, police said Stafford began throwing objects and then used a lighter to ignite the mounted head.

I’m sitting here wondering if the Bison head was there when she married him.  Did he put it there to spite her?  To drive her crazy?  Hey honey…you ever notice how the bison’s eyes seem to follow you around the room…?  Did he give it to her as a gift and she filed for divorce immediately thereafter?  Was it a prized memento from their honeymoon?  Were they fighting over who gets it in the settlement?  Did he name it after her?  After her mother? 

Note to self:  Marital bliss is probably not enhanced by tacking large dead animal heads to the wall.  On the other hand, I used to know a gay couple who had a buffalo hide rug and they said it was absolutely their favorite thing to have sex on.

by Bruce | Link | React!

October 3rd, 2007

Sometimes A Corndog Is Just A Corndog

Notice: The Iowa State Fair erotic corn dog-eating contest may be canceled

The competition, which is organized by a Des Moines area radio station and tends to draw a raucous and appreciative crowd, is too tasteless, according to at least one fair board member.

After the topic came up Monday during the board’s critique of this year’s state fair, fair manager Gary Slater said he hasn’t seen it himself.

“I just heard it was kind of disgusting,” Slater said. He quickly added: “It was nothing that was sanctioned by the fair.”

KGGO-FM has held the contest right outside the doors of the Administration Building for four fairs in a row.

Iowa State Fair Board President Jerry Parkins on Monday suggested getting rid of the contest, so state fair staff will tell KGGO’s organizers that it’s inappropriate, Slater said.

If the radio staff don’t agree, “then we’ll take it back to the board and see if they’ll be invited back next year,” Slater said.

The news was tough to swallow for Steve “Round Guy” Pilchen, one of the radio personalities who invented the contest. But it wasn’t a shock.

“I was waiting for that,” Pilchen said this morning in a telephone interview from the Urbandale radio station. “While it’s very popular and, I think, ingeniously creative, it makes sense that this would be just the thing that conservative, politically-correct people would be up in arms about.”

Pilchen said they don’t intend to go away quietly.

“I would hate for it to have to end, because it’s gained so much notoriety,” he said. “Our take on it is that we’d like to continue to do it and will, up until the state fair board tells us we can’t.”

Competitors — so far it’s only been women, and all were required to be at least 18 — are given 30 seconds to demonstrate erotic techniques on the staple state fair treat.

“We stress technique,” Pilchen said. “There’s a lot of simulation.”

Condiments are available if the women want to get creative, he said. “We had ketchup and mustard, but the big hit was mayonnaise.”

Mayonnaise.  Right.  Good thing they weren’t running a booth advocating same sex marriage or the radio station would have been boycotted, their advertisers would have dropped them like flies, and the DJs run out of town on a rail…

by Bruce | Link | React!

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