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April 22nd, 2012

And Now, For Something Completely Sexy…

Here’s a little something for the (according to my server logs) fans of my sketches of cute guys in cutoffs. They’re just wistful daydreaming on my part…I had no idea anyone really liked these. But while I was on vacation my web site got Google hits from people specifically looking for my name and cutoffs. Wow. I may be no Tom of Finland (whose males I never found attractive but I was in awe of his skill with a pencil) but I could do worse then be known for drawing beautiful guys in cutoffs.

Normally you Google for images of nice looking guys in cutoffs and what you get are a lot of pictures of guys who really shouldn’t be wearing these at all, which people post as a way of ridiculing cutoffs…or at any rate, cutoffs on guys. Yes, yes…you need the physique for it…but lotsa guys have that and in any case the ridicule isn’t about guys who have no fashion common sense, it’s about reenforcing the male fear of looking too sexy below the waste because that’s teh gay.

When I was a young adult this look wasn’t uncommon even on straight guys (though admittedly straight guys didn’t usually wear them quite This short…) and I guess my emerging libido just glommed onto it. But damn I like this look and I reckon I’ll just keep drawing it…

If this means I’m stuck in the past so be it. As I said, these are just the random wistful daydreams of a single guy. If you like them then I’m happy. If you think they’re ridiculous then go away.

by Bruce | Link | React!

July 15th, 2009

The Wrong Lederhosen

I have this quirky sense of humor that (I think) alternately charms and appalls my friends.  The problem with being a nerd is you never quite know for sure when you’ve taken it too far until your friends are giving you that Oh Do Grow Up look again.  There is some subtle social sensibility you are missing, which prevents you from stumbling across the line from smart and funny into dumb and annoying. 

I have to admit…I was tempted when I saw This.  Oh…very tempted…

Novelty Bavarian Lederhosen With Yodeling Frankfurter Controls: Hurry!

 

Each 6-inch tall plastic pair of Bavarian Remote Control Lederhosen is activated by an infrared remote control knockwurst.  Press the button and the self propelled Lederhosen hops around and sings a merry yodel.

 

You can have your very own Bavarian Remote Control Lederhosen for $19.49.  Requires two AAA batteries.  Knockwurst remote control operates your Lederhosen to within 10 feet.

 

He’d probably never speak to me again…

 

by Bruce | Link | React!

January 23rd, 2009

Mental Health Break

Featuring my favorite Muppet…

I’ve got a little Crazy Harry action figure that stands watch over my office desk. He came complete with his faithful detonator, a barrel of double-x gunpowder and two sticks of dynamite. Animal had nothing on Crazy Harry.

I’ve been looking for this clip for ages. It’s one of my all time favorites. Makes me giggle every time I watch. I absolutely loved the way Jim Henson used to send-up all those cheesy 1970s easy listening pop tunes. I can’t hear this song played any more (Chanson D’Amour), thankfully, without also hearing Crazy Harry’s Ra-Ta-Ta-Ta-Ta and explosion. All elevator music should be like this.

by Bruce | Link | React!

January 11th, 2009

No. Spartans On Wind Boards.

A story is posted on Fark.Com, about the Somalian pirates that drowned when their speed boat capsized while carrying three million dollars in ransom money back to the lair.  The comment thread turns into an argument about whether Ninjas or Vikings could take on Pirates.  Stoners have nothing on geeks, I’m here to tell you.

by Bruce | Link | React!

January 5th, 2009

Coolness!

Very cool photos of frozen soap bubbles

It’s very cold tonight, so we played with bubbles. If you blow them upwards enough they have time to freeze on the way down.

And this…

Chasing bubbles round a very icy garden (we’d made an ice-slide right down the path), in the dark while looking through a viewfinder is surprisingly hard.

Go see them.  Kudos to the Über Geeks who did this!

by Bruce | Link | React! (1)

January 3rd, 2009

(Bonus Lesson) How To Draw Pictures Of Sexy Guys Wearing Glasses In 3 Easy Steps

Step 1:  Start with a pair of circles for the glasses…

Step 2: Decide what kind of frames you want them to be.  For this lesson we will use a basic aviator frame example.  Just keep it simple to start out with…

 

 

Step 3:  Now add the rest of him.

 

 

 

NEXT: Drawing a paycheck in today’s economy.

 

 

by Bruce | Link | React!


How To Draw Pictures Of Sexy Guys In Their Underwear In 3 Easy Steps…(Lesson 2)

Okay…you all remember our last lesson…right?  Fine.  Today we’re going to build on that a little…

Step 1:   Create a basic stick-man frame.  Try not to make it too detailed.

Step 2: Add the major body segments as oblong bean shapes…head, neck, chest, arms, legs…and so on…  Again…try to keep it simple.

Step 3:  Now add the detail.

 

NEXT: Can you draw Muhammad?

 

 

by Bruce | Link | React!

September 4th, 2008

Where Do You Fit On The Anti-Gay Continuum?

This is hilarious…  (Link takes you to Mark Fiore’s page since he apparently doesn’t allow his videos to be embedded…)

Click image to play

 

  

by Bruce | Link | React!

August 23rd, 2008

Don’t Tell Me There Are More Then One Of Those Things…

Via Fark.Com, via Wired.Com…  This is actually kinda creepy…

 

 

The skull of a…thing…that seems to be all mouth and teeth.  The  description is as follows…

The fleshless skull of a blind eating machine, its huge gnashing maw a surreal irony, for it has no stomach. It feeds voraciously… not out of hunger, but out of murderous instinct. Luckily, you can easily escape it, since it has no legs…

But it can roll.  If it really gets itself going you could be absolutely fucked.  Picture this thing rolling down a hill toward you, teeth flashing in the sunlight with each turn…

…this is the avatar of Death himself, also known as…

…Pac Man.  I used to love playing that game.  Now I’m going to get the creeps every time I see one of those things in an arcade…

 

by Bruce | Link | React!

August 18th, 2008

Question 1 Of 12

From this week’s Spiegel pub quiz

The small German town of Loitsche is asking €14,600 for a broken-down bus stop. Why?

Sounds like somebody doesn’t like Tokio Hotel.  But read those other two answers and tell me Germans don’t have a sense of humor.  And this one…

Question 5 of 12

Why did Russian tanks and troops roll into Georgia last week?

I guarantee you there are people in Georgia (U.S. of A.) right now with their guns loaded, keeping a watchful eye out for those Russian tanks…

  

by Bruce | Link | React!

May 30th, 2008

Gracias

As we walked toward customs at the Puerto Vallarta airport my friend Joe turned to me and said "Welcome to someplace other then the U.S."  It was the first time in my life I’d ever set foot outside the country of my birth, and what was going through my mind at that moment was "I don’t speak a word of Spanish."  That’s not entirely true, but as all I can do pretty much is say ‘Hello’ and ‘Please" and ‘Thank you’, it might as well be.

I’m finding now that I’m immersed in someone else’s language that it’s not all that bad.  Hearing a language spoken all around me that I simply don’t fathom isn’t as frightening as I thought it would be.  I’m actually likely to pick up on some more of it before I leave Monday.  At least here in a tourist zone, people expect that not everyone wandering the streets speaks the language, particularly if you look like a Yankee tourist.  And what I’m discovering is that it doesn’t matter if I come off like a damn fool while trying to fumble my way to "let me know when you want to clean my room and I’ll leave", with the guest house help.  I’m a gringo…I’m not only allowed to be a fool, I’m expected to be one. 

The people here are so friendly I feel completely welcome here.  The only irritant is the tons of condo sales droids wandering the streets, all trying to grab your attention.  No fooling, about every block you walk around here, particularly in the gay neighborhood, you get a sales pitch that starts how "Hola Amego!"  They may offer to direct you to a nearby restaurant or get you a taxi or tickets to some show or event, but it always comes bundled with a pitch to get you to go look at some nice condo somewhere.  We were warned coming down here to be careful to get a regular cab and not one of the independents, some of whom claim to be working for hotels, because you’ll get a condo sales pitch all the way to your destination. 

Here’s the view I wake up to in the morning from my room…

My room is to die for. If you go to the Villa David web site, it’s #1…The Minx Room.  I do not qualify as ‘Minx’, but the room is absolutely the best I have ever stayed in. 

You really know you’re someplace other then the U.S. when you can look out your window and see naked high voltage power lines less then an arm’s reach away.

Look closely, and you can see how they tap the power for the guest house we’re staying at.  This ad hoc approach to everything seems to be the guiding principal here.  And while I can see where it would become annoying, I’m finding it intensely enjoyable too.  Something about the way things are just slapped together around here, and the near complete lack of traffic control, appeals to the inner anarchist in me.  On the one hand I am in a place where I don’t have the rights I do in America.  There is no first Amendment here, no innocent until proven guilty.  On the other hand, you have to like the way people here just get things done with what they have to work with.  Germany and Switzerland this isn’t.  Judging by Puerto Vallarta, this country would drive a control freak absolutely nuts, very very quickly.  In a way, you have to love that.  Take your favorite control freak to Mexico for a holiday and tell them to loosen up a bit.

My infrequent trips to Manhattan prepared me, somewhat, for navigating the roads here on foot.  Whereas in Manhattan the relationship between pedestrians and autos was just hectic, here it’s positively anarchic.  You Have to pay attention.  There are maybe one or two stop signs in the entire town of Puerto Villarta and maybe as many traffic lights.  I think right of way is determined by an informal game of chicken: whoever blinks first has to wait.  I have never seen an intersection before in my life, where there is only one traffic light controlling one approach, and the other three are free to do as they damn well please.

Much of the old town is built on the hillsides over looking the Pacific and it is beautiful and charming in just the way you always imagined a real Mexican town would be.  But they don’t do switchbacks here.  Even San Francisco does switchbacks.   Not here.  Here they just go straight up the damn hillside.  No kidding, one of the roads to our Guest house had lateral grooves cut into the pavement so cars could get enough traction to climb it.  I’d say it was somewhere between a 60 and 70 degree incline.  

And these are narrow little neighborhood streets.  The cars negotiate right of way on an ad hoc basis constantly, just as they do at intersections.  The drivers here seem to have a second sense of how close they are to getting their sides scraped.  Several times on the way to the villa, our driver came so close to the cars parked on the side of the streets you couldn’t have put a credit card between us.  When people park around here, I see them always folding their side view mirrors in.

The original Volkswagon Beetle lives on here in Mexico.  I’ve never seen so many on the streets since I was a kid.  Late yesterday afternoon I heard one wandering up the side roads next to our Villa, blaring something in Spanish out of two loudspeakers mounted on the roof.  I walked out onto my balcony to look and figured the two guys inside were either advertising something or hawking some political candidate.  They stopped at a nearby corner, and one by one people came out to them with their dogs.  As I watched, one guy stepped out with a syringe and vaccine bottle while the other took notes on a clipboard and they gave the dogs shots of some sort.  Maybe it was for rabies or some such.

Here’s how they deliver gas here…

This was taken off my rear balcony a little while ago.  The green trunk prowls around the neighborhoods like a damn ice cream truck.  It plays a little musical jingle which is periodically interrupted by a male voice saying something that I reckon means "Propane", then it goes back to playing the jingle.

It’s not as hot here as I thought it would be, but it is sweltering humid.  Being a Washingtonian I am use to this kind of humidity, but it’s early in the year for that for me.  They say it’s a dryer heat in the winter months.  So yesterday and today I am avoiding the streets while the sun is high.  The Villa has a nice pool I can soak in, and my room is on the top floor and it is to die for, with a lovely view of the town and the ocean on one side, and a balcony with a view of the town on the other.  I get nice air flow all day long, and I turn on the AC at night mostly to dry the air out a tad.

Villa David is absolutely lovely!  The pictures on the web don’t do it justice.  I could hang out here the whole weekend, but I want to explore some of the town with my camera too.  My fear of being a stranger in a strange land is melting away.  What I’m finding is that at least here in the tourist zones I don’t need to worry about the language barrier much.  That you are seen making an effort really does go a long way.  At least in the tourist zones.  And it’s just a real trip seeing another people’s take on living life.  I’m having a lot of fun here…finding myself more adventurous then I thought I’d be so soon after arriving.

I’m coming to appreciate Puerto Vallarta as being a good place for a first visit outside the country.  It’s more authentically Mexican then (so I’ve been told) Cancun.  But it’s welcoming to foreigners, and there is enough English spoken here that I quickly became comfortable roaming the streets with my camera alone, and walking into shops along the way to browse and buy.  All the shop owners know "How much?" 

As I was walking along I noticed a blister starting to form on one foot under the pair of sandals I bought in Key West last Christmas.  I didn’t want it going any further so I looked around for a place to buy a bandage and disinfectant.  I’m finding I can make out what most store signs in Spanish say because so many of them resemble English words, and I saw some word close enough to ‘Pharmacy’ on a sign above a little shop, that I figured it was the same thing as ‘Drugstore’.  Which it was.  What I saw inside looked little different from a small drugstore at home, other then some brand names were new to me.  The guy behind the counter said "Hola" and I greeted him likewise and said simply "Band-Aid"? and he nodded and took me over to a counter full of them.  I picked out a small tourist size package and glanced at the price…twenty-three pesos.  The exchange rate is close enough to 1 to 10 that I just move the decimal when I want to judge the value of anything here.  Basically, that pack of bandages was $2.30.  Fine.  I took it back to the counter and was rung up.  I handed him a fifty peso note and he handed me back a twenty peso note, a five peso coin and a two peso coin.   My first all-by-myself purchase in a foreign land.  Piece of cake.  Mathematics and commerce are universal languages.

 

by Bruce | Link | React!

May 19th, 2008

If It Was That Long Ago, How Come It Seems Like Only Yesterday?

Whilst browsing Fark.Com I came across this site, and this photo…

This is from a G. C.   Murphy’s store, circa 1968.   I was 14 back then.   Note the ad above one of the portable sets on the second shelf above the boy RCA – First In Color TV…   Color sets were just starting to become affordable to the average person back then.   Still hugely expensive, and most TV shows throughout the day were still broadcast in black and white.   But all the prime time stuff by then was in color, and they all advertised that fact proudly…

And so did the networks…

I still vividly remember the impact of watching the premier of the second season of Star Trek in color the previous fall of 1967, when our downstairs neighbor bought a color TV.   I’d grown up watching TV in a black and white world and my little teenybopper jaw just dropped watching those scenes of the planet Vulcan in color.   The next summer mom bought a color TV, pretty similar to the one you see above.   Within a year TV seemed like it had always been in color.   I had a little GE black and white portable in my bedroom by then, and the only thing I bothered watching on it were the old reruns of TV shows that had been filmed in black and white.  

Never mind the clothes and hair styles in the photo above, the first thing I noticed in it were the legs on the TV set.   They mark it as being of its period.   It seemed back then that nearly every piece of furniture you laid eyes on had legs like that…dark wood pegs turned down to a shiny metal cap at the bottom.   In my household we had a TV, a record cabinet and a beautiful Eumig mahogany Hi-Fi console with legs like that.   Teens reading this now note the…Dials…on the set.   That was how you changed the channel back then.   And there were only 12 of them, starting at channel two and going up to channel 13 (whatever Did become of channel one???).   Now you know why all the local TV stations everywhere are somewhere in that range.   The other two large dials were probably a UHF tuner and the volume control.   In theory the UHF channels gave you channels 14 to 69.   In practice there were very few UHF channels.   The Washington D.C. area where I grew up, had 14, 20, 22, 26, 45, and 53, and half of those were PBS stations.   The row of small knobs were probably the brightness, color intensity and tint controls.  

The set almost certainly was powered by a bunch of vacuum tubes and if you looked behind it you would see a Masonite servicing panel with a bunch of holes drilled in it for ventilation.

So…anyway…having found the Pleasant Family Shopping Blog…I decided to do a little shopping.   He links to other sites that have images from the period I grew up in, and I think I spent about half the night browsing, and occasionally shouting with delight like the little teenybopper I once was…  

Oh!!…Fizzies!!!!

You can’t see it…but the back of the pack is a sheet of eight little square aluminum foil packets, each with a tablet in them about the size of an Alka-Seltzer.   And they did pretty much the same thing as Alka-Seltzer did…they fizzed…only these tablets turned the water in the glass into a bubbly soft drink.   Between the ages of 7 and 10 I was addicted to those things.   I pretty much stopped drinking that stuff when I was old enough to have an allowance that let me buy real soda.

Oh!   Crazy Foam…!

I think the most delightful part of last night was finding something I’d played with as a kid and completely forgotten about.   This stuff was a thick foam soap for a kid’s bath.   It was so thick it stood up on it’s own when you squirted it out of the can…practically like some kind of caulking compound.   It was almost as much fun as silly putty…

And as much fun as finding things I’d played with, was finding photos of the architectural environment I grew up in.   They made buildings different back then.   The style was…well…very sixties.   Here’s a shot of a Sears store that really brought it back for me…

 

Note the palm trees poking up one side of the store.   We didn’t have palm trees where I grew up, but that building just shouts its period.

Here’s what you probably would have found had you walked over to the snack bar…

According to the photo, that’s circa 1962.   Note the signage, the hanging lamps and the chairs.   Oh…and the color scheme.   Here’s what a grocery store might look like…

Back then they actually gave you double lines separating the car spaces.   Here’s what you might see inside at the frozen foods area…

Freezers with no doors.   A couple rows of them usually.   Those things worked because cold air sinks and the electricity to run them was cheap.   These days they mostly use standup freezers with glass doors to keep the cold air in.   I used to hang my head over the edge of these things and look sideways down an entire row for the thin layer of fog that formed in the zone between the warm store air and the cold freezer air.   Note the analog butcher’s scale over in the meat department.

That’s enough nostalgia for now.   I had an absolute blast going through Pleasant Family Shopping.   And some of the sites he links to.   And it really startles me how immediate some of the memories were that those images brought back.   It just doesn’t seem like it’s that long ago.   And while I would not want to go back to those days (not back to a time before the Internet, not back to a time before cell phones and home video and safer cars, and absolutely not back to a time before the APA took homosexuality off the list of mental illnesses!) I can appreciate a little better now why the times I live in irritate me so often.   One thing I think is so appealing about the iPhone is it’s display is made of real glass and the chrome trim around the edge is really metal. I like solid things in my life.   The Mercedes for example. Things used to be made like that.

 

 

by Bruce | Link | React!

April 3rd, 2008

I Can Haz Cheeseburger Too?

Via Newscoma… 

I suspect someone is pulling their neighbor’s legs. 

  
 

by Bruce | Link | React! (2)

February 17th, 2008

Smile!

Via SLOG.  Okay…I am not a dog person.  But sometimes they can be a lot of fun…

  
 

 

Made me laugh.  I like cats…but you couldn’t get a cat to do that for you…

 

by Bruce | Link | React!

February 4th, 2008

Weekend With Friends In The Virginia Wineries

Me and some friends, sampling the Virginia vintage over the weekend…

 

They suggested a trip to some wineries in Northern Virginia last Saturday and I took them up on it.  It’s part of my initiation rites into middle-age yuppydom now that I have the Mercedes.  No, I have not cut my hair.  Are you kidding?  It’s tied in a ponytail which is not visible there.  I ended up taking home two bottles of really nice dessert wine, charmingly labeled "Moonstone".  Then we all drove to Harper’s Ferry and wandered around for a bit. I hadn’t been to Harper’s Ferry since the middle 70s.  Any excuse to drive Traveler somewhere.

 

by Bruce | Link | React!

Visit The Woodward Class of '72 Reunion Website For Fun And Memories, WoodwardClassOf72.com


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