It must be hell being a policeman with nothing better to do then arrest people for not properly taking care of their lawns…

White Cloud yard police put man in jail

WHITE CLOUD — A Newaygo County man could spend another weekend behind bars if he doesn’t take care of his yard.

David Burch says he tried to seed the yard last fall but it wouldn’t take root. This all stems from a contractor who failed to sod the yard in the first place. Now a judge is saying, do the yard or do the time.

"The people who work at the court, at the jail, thought it was funny," Burch said. "They said there had to be more. I said, ‘No, it’s just because I don’t have grass growing.’ They said, ‘You’re in here for that?’"

He claims he is not skirting the law. Burch said the contractor for his new house is responsible for the lawn. But a White Cloud city ordinance states otherwise.

"This has been in the courts for over a year," said White Cloud Police Chief Roger Ungrey. "I believe Mr. Burch has made an attempt. He did bring me in some receipts for grass seed."

But when it didn’t grow, a county judge ordered the yard planted. It never happened. Again this April – no sprouts. Then, in jail, an inspiration. Burch is sodding his yard with donated turf.

They’ve been having a drought in White Cloud by the way.  Say…you think that might have something to do with why his grass isn’t growing…?  Just curious.  They must see things differently up there.  Maybe they’ve never experienced a drought before and they’re not sure if that means you have to conserve the water you still have or not.  I mean…here in Baltimore when we had our drought you pretty much had to let your lawn go brown or else you got fined.  Having a green lawn was considered evidence that you were watering it illegally. 

So I’m picturing this poor man finally getting his lawn taken care of so he can stay out of jail, only to then be fined for watering it.  But at least it’s a city ordinance and not a Home Owner’s Association he’s at the mercy of.  If it was an HOA they’d be suing him for not using the right kind of grass seed too probably.  He’d have had to submit seed samples to the Architectural Review Committee before planting for DNA analysis, and maybe provide them with architectural renderings of what his new lawn would look like so that the Board Of Directors could pass on it first.