Via Fark.Com…  Some heterosexual guy bellyaches about the passing of the sweetness of life…

The martini is an honest drink, tasting exactly like what it is and nothing else. There are no fruit juices or chocolate in a martini, and it’s not served in a pineapple shell. The martini is a clear, clean, cold, pure and honest drink – especially for people with established values and a liking for purity, even in their vices.

I regret the passing of this friend from our culture, just as I regret knowing that I’ll never again see a pretty woman in nylons, garter belt and spiked heels. Now I read they want to do away with high heels and swimsuits in the Miss America Pageant. I suppose next it will be brown paper bags over heads and every contestant clothed in XXL potato sacks.

…

Martinis, garter belts, bathing suits and high heels – why do good things pass away? Tonight I’m going to pour myself a martini, light up my pipe, sit in my backyard and give this matter a lot more thought.

Oh cheer up.  I know the feeling…sort of.  I’ve been morning the pasing of cutoffs and slight bathing suits on guys since the1980s.  The beach just isn’t fun anymore.  At least not the American ones.  Never did like martinis though.  Ugh.  Some of my gay happy hour pals just love them though.  I’m more a Kahlua on the rocks kinda guy.  But…what the hell happened to cutoffs?

(sigh…)

[Update…]   It’s kinda fun, in a perverse way I suppose, to watch the reactions among the heterosexual guys on Fark to that guy’s letter to the editor.  Some of them are completely in agreement, and some think he’s a dinosaur who needs to just get over it…

Awesome article.

He sounds like my dad. Who is also from the midwest. (perhaps I should say mid-VEST this guy is a cheesehead) Eh time marches on. I’ve no sympathy because HE’S sad that Miss America isn’t putting on her high heels for him. 

I may be a youngster, but I raise my glass for this man. Awesome letter.

That guy is my farking hero!

Yeah, keep biatching gramps. You didn’t have blowjob parties and chicks with whale-tails when you were in high school. You didn’t have internet porn. You didn’t have access to 80 beers on tap at the bar down the street from your house. Times change, and you’re stuck in the past. 

There is nothing stupider than high heels on a woman in a bathing suit, and who the hell wears shoes to bed?

*Dims the lights in this thread and cues up Henry Mancini’s "Lujon"*

THIS GUY IS AWESOME!!

And stay off my lawn!!!

Eh, keep your fetish gear to yourself, dinosaur

And a lady writes…

I own a garter belt. Its a pain in the ass to wear, but its so hot and sexy, I want to do myself when I wear it.

And now you know why the the Southern Baptist Convention thinks the Internet is the tool of Satan…

[Update 2…]  Oh…now they’re arguing about whether a martini should be made with gin or vodka…

And the ladies are telling the guys that they look sexy in fedoras.  I’ll agree with that.  Some of them.