So I’m reading the comments over at Fark.Com to that article about how dangerous getting back in touch with your first love is.  It’s comforting to see that I’m not the only one who looks back on it with feelings that are a tad mixed…

Mine is a pathological liar and has depression issues.

…………

Just saw mine last night, she said hi, i said hi, then stared like a dumb eye kid. I guess i’m still powerless.

…………

Mine became a Bible-thumping, street-corner preacher– no thank you!!.

…………

Mine got married to a BPD insane guy who tried to kill her and her entire family. She’s now with a recovering heroin addict.

…………

I ran into my first love at a grocery store near my mom’s while I was on a visit. He was working as a bagger. Took me about 3 minutes to recognise him, and about 3 seconds to be grateful that he didn’t recognise me!

…………

Mine’s a prostitute.

…………

A mutual friend who’s a cop now said he saw her about 15yrs after we graduated. (She was a freshman when I was a senior) He stopped her for a routine traffic stop and saw it was her, but she didn’t recognize him. She had a different last name, married of course…When he ran her license, he found out she had been married 3 times, had several convictions for shop lifting, forging checks, mail fraud and some minor drug convictions!

…………

Wow…doubt anyone will read this far down, but here’s my story, FWIW: My first love was a geek in high school, but we went to prom together. Then, we had a long-distance relationship when he went away to college at the Naval Academy. He dumped me. Twenty years later, he tracked me down before our high school reunion. He was living in Japan. I went to the reunion just to see him, sparks were incredible (and he enjoyed the BJ on the pool deck). I thought I was in love again. Apparently, he was not. He just got re-married, and still wanted to have me on the side. No thanks,

…………

I told mine I hope she dies. Does that make me a bad person?

…………

I haven’t seen mine since she moved during freshman year of high school. I still carry her school picture in my wallet.

I’ve found her listing on Classmates.com

I’ve found where her parents live.

Now she’s married to someone else, and so am I…

/depressed now
//where’s my hanging rope?

…………

Mine passed away at 18 from a rejected heart transplant. I think we would have married, though, he was the sweetest thing in the whole world. I still miss that boy. 

…………

I seriously hope there is a hell just so mine can rot in it… not that I’m bitter or anything.

And then there is this practical fellow… 

I hook up with random 18-year-olds in the hopes that I’ll be their "childhood sweetheart." Later in life I should have throngs of women ready to get it on with me at any chance encounters.

Consider that you may instead have throngs of women scattered here and there, ready to beat the living crap out of you when they lay eyes on you again.  Just a thought.

Ah…love.  I have been asked over and over again by heterosexual jackasses if I would take a pill that would cure me of my homosexuality if such a thing existed.  My standard retort is to ask them if they’d take a pill that would grow them a brain if such a pill existed.  My love life has been an excruciatingly difficult one, but I have never blamed my sexual orientation for that.  Note that Fark.Com is a mostly straight hangout and that most, if not all of the comments above came from heterosexuals.  Of all the people I knew in high school, only two managed to do the find your soulmate and spend your life together thing.  Ironically one of them was My first love.  Everyone else I know…Everyone…has had it rough.  Some of them very rough.  I’m far, far from the only broken heart in this poor world.  Which is why it pisses me off no end how fundamentalist and right wing jackasses do their level best to make it hard for people to find, and then keep that love of their lives in this poor lonely world!  If there’s a hell after all, then there needs to be a special place in it for people who made it more difficult for people to love.  And it needs to be really, really painful, to even come close to atoning for all the pain they left behind in this world.

So I have another retort now to the ones who keep asking me if I would ever take a pill to cure me of homosexuality.  If there was a pill You could take that would cure you of the ability to love…that would erase all knowledge of and even the memory of love from your mind…would you take it?  It wouldn’t kill your libido…just your romantic need.  You could still have all the random, carefree, hot sex you ever wanted, and even more guilt free then before, knowing that there would be no emotional attachment afterward.  Love’s a hard thing to deal with sometimes.  It can really, really fuck up your life, leave it a tattered mess.  Would you take that pill? 

I’m sorry to say, I think a lot of people would.  And if you would too, then I’m sorry for you.  Better an aching heart, then an empty one.