Playing With Fire…Ya Think…?
From our Department Of The Staringly Obvious…
Re-kindling your lost first love is playing with fire: experts
Memories of first love are more addictive than any drug and many adults find themselves powerless to resist when the sparks fly and they fall once again for childhood sweethearts.First loves are indelibly etched into our minds, scientists say, but they warn that rekindling that old flame could have lasting, irreversible consequences, tearing apart marriages and leaving a trail of devastation.
"It’s not your average affair," said Nancy Kalish, a California State University-Sacramento psychologist, who has studied such relationships for 14 years. "It goes from the phone to the hotel. It’s that quick."
Not always…
Adolescent hormones carve those first loves into our brains, said Rutgers University anthropologist Helen Fisher, author of the book "Why We Love."
The lost love’s voice or touch triggers wanting, needing, craving in the same spots in the brain as those affected by cocaine.
Sound like addiction?
"It is more powerful than addiction," said Fisher.
…
"The lost-love people seem to have a tremendous sense of entitlement to do what they want and screw everyone else."
The poet Richard Lovelace wrote, "…I could not love thee, Dear, so much, Loved I not honor more." That’s the hard part of love, but it’s what separates the gold from the fools gold. Lost-lovers aren’t acting from a sense of entitlement. They’re acting on something that was theirs once, and never really went away…a thing as common and obvious as the warm summer sun. But fucking up a marriage isn’t the nicest thing in the world to do to someone you were once madly in love with. And do you really want to die remembering that first love of your life as a cheat?
Like Rick Blaine said, "We’ll always have Paris…"