The Groffs are still fighting to take their dead gay son away from the man he loved…

Gravesite battle proves costly for Baltimore man y

A gay Baltimore man who’s fighting to keep his late partner buried in rural Tennessee may have to sell his car and home to fund the legal battle.

Kevin-Douglas Olive said the parents of his late partner, Russell Groff, have appealed a court ruling that granted Olive an early win in the case. The appeal effectively restarts the case, making progress a costly proposition.

Olive said he’s committed to continuing a case in which he’s already invested $8,000 — but fears his legal bills may demand another $20,000.

"I’ll do what I gotta do," he said, "but they’re telling me to expect to spend a lot more than I spent before."

Read more at the Washington Blade’s site Here.  The article references the comments from the Groffs to this post on my blog that I’m pretty certain are genuine, and which if they are they show just how far into the gutter hate has led them.  They’ve lied through their teeth pretty consistently throughout about the condition of Russell’s gravesite and the events that led to their lawsuit, claiming that it was neglect when it was the removal of their cheapshit insults to the man Russell loved that provoked them into going to court.

Olive said Groff became so weak that he couldn’t leave his bed to urinate. To best help the man he loved, Olive would hold the bedpan for him.

“This is my soul mate, so I just did it,” he said. “You don’t even think about it. You just do it.”

Eventually, a staph infection that originated in Groff’s gall bladder spread throughout his body, and on Nov. 23, 2004, he died.

"I just collapsed on the floor of the hospital, face down and shrieking," Olive said. "Part of me knew that was entirely inappropriate, but part of me didn’t care.”

And how does an all-American God fearing family treat the man who cared for their son in his last hours.  Well…like dogshit of course… 

In keeping with the burial instructions signed Nov. 18, Groff was interred in the West Knoxville Friends Cemetery outside Knoxville, Tenn.

Olive said the grave, located about 30 minutes from Groff’s childhood home, was to remain simple and clean. But Groff’s mother, Carolyn, made changes.

"She made it into this shrine that really offended the sensibilities of the Quakers," he said, "because we’re all about simplicity."

Olive said Carolyn routinely decorated the grave. At one point, she posted a picture of Groff with his female prom date, plus a poem Carolyn wrote wherein her son essentially apologized for being gay.

"I was so insulted by seeing this,” Olive said. "She was trying to paint him as this repentive person who was heterosexual, really."

After seeing that picture and poem, Olive said he could tolerate no more and cleaned his husband’s gravesite.

"When I cleared the grave, that was the final straw for her,” he said. “She filed the caveat and challenged the will."

Without a doubt Russell knew what was coming after he died, and that was why he had that will drawn up.  He loved Kevin, and he didn’t want him to go through the kind of hell he knew his parents were going to bring down on him.  And without a doubt, the reason why the homophobes want to deny same sex couples not just the right to marry, but Any legal rights whatsoever, is Precisely so they can twist the knife in our guts, just like the Groffs are twisting the knife in Kevin’s.  There is no other plausible reason for the all-out assault on any and every possible legal status for a same sex couple, other then to facilitate this kind of grotesque scorched earth warfare where even our lover’s graves aren’t safe.  None. When they talk about fighting to preserve the sacred institution of marriage, what they mean is they’re fighting to preserve the right to dig up your spouse’s grave.

A Maryland judge upheld the will, on the staringly obvious grounds that Russell knew what he was doing when he made it.  Russell saw it coming.  He did the only thing the law in Maryland allows a gay man do, to to protect the man he loved from it.  But the Groffs are bound and determined to bleed Kevin as much as they can because now all they have in their lives is how much they hate him.  He’s having to sell off possessions now, and perhaps even his house in order to pay the legal bills over this continuing fight. 

I want to ask everyone reading this blog to help him out in any way they can, however much.  Do you believe in love?  Did it make a difference in your life?  Do you remember the first time someone you loved took you into their arms?  Do you remember that first kiss?  Does it make you angry that some people feel as though they have a god-given right to spit in your face whenever moments like those bring you joy and peace and contentment?  Kevin-Douglas Olive watched the man he loved and was loved by die, and now he’s having to fight over the ground he laid his body to rest, and I think even more then money to pay the legal bills, it would help him now to know that there are people out here who Care.

Donations can be sent via mail to the Kevin Olive Defense Fund, c/o C.W. Hardy, 715 Park Ave., Apt. B, Baltimore, MD, 21201.

As a point of interest, it looks like Kevin’s lawyer is Mark Scurti.  In fact some years ago I had his law firm, Scurti and Gulling do my own will, and Medical Directives document.  They’re good people, known and respected in Baltimore’s gay community for their work fighting for our legal rights.