I was out and about a couple nights ago, just wandering around my little corner of Baltimore, and chatting with a friend in DC via cellphone. The kid who grew up with telephones wired into the wall, and local long distance charges through the roof, is loving how all that changed in the 21st century. I carry my phone with me in my pocket and it is also my music library, weather radar, encyclopedia, and all around handheld computer. I was feeling great since my short afternoon hike on the NCR rail trail north of Baltimore. Despair was to come the next day but just then I didn’t know that. It was a lovely blue sky day and the evening was cool and but not so cold yet that I couldn’t be out and about in a flannel shirt and no jacket.

I decided to stop for a drink at one of my favorite restaurants, I won’t say which because of what I saw going down and what I did about it.

This particular restaurant served a specialty drink that they smoked in front of the customer before serving it. I discovered this delightful thing about smoking a drink at the upscale Basque restaurant across I-83 from me. They call it a Blue Velvet and it is decadently good. But that restaurant had a fire and it’s been closed since last January, although they say they’re opening back up this December. So when this other place started serving a smoked old fashion I tried it out and it was excellent. If pricey.

So I go inside and sit at the bar. A new bartender is there…a young woman I’d never seen before. She asked me what I wanted and I asked if she could make me that smoked old fashion and she said yes.

So I’m chilling out at the bar while she’s making it. Eventually one of the regular bartenders comes back and starts working the little glass washer at the end of the bar. He sees me and asks me if I want my usual food and I say no, just a drink tonight. I don’t really know this bartender, but he seems to know me. There are other regulars behind the bar I see often, but this is late Sunday night and so I suppose these are the off hours staff. He’s tall, thin and bearded and he seems okay. But his interactions with the young woman really put me off.

She starts walking over to me with my drink and the guy grabs he by the arm as she passes by him and says something to her. It wasn’t a rough grab but it was a grab, and the first thing I’m thinking is no, you don’t touch your staff like that. He says something to her and she nods and walks over to me and puts my drink down.

The process at this restaurant involves putting a smoker over the glass. They apparently get them from one of their suppliers and it has that company’s name on it. It’s a wooden thing that fits over the glass and has that company’s logo carved onto it. On the top of the smoker is a small bowl the bartender fills with some wood like hickory, mesquite, or red oak. Once the bowl is filled a torch lighter is used to burn the wood, and smoke drifts down from the bowl and covers the top of the drink. At the Basque restaurant the bartender would bring a small bottle prefilled with smoke and pour the smoke from the bottle over your drink while you watched. It’s all very theatrical in a way but that’s part of the enjoyment.

So this new young bartender starts trying to smoke my drink using their smoke top device, but it isn’t getting the smoke down onto the drink. I’ve seen this happen before and suggest to her that the smoker is clogged. She agrees. But then the other bartender comes over and sees the problem with the smoker and basically takes over the process from the young woman. He brings over a new smoker, fills it’s bowl with wood chips and starts torching it himself, saying in front of her and me that he needs to show her how it’s done so she doesn’t screw it up. And I’m thinking no, this is not how you train your staff. This is how you make them want to quit.

I can appreciate there are customers who will get all ornery when they’re being served by inexperienced staff, but that’s on them. I’m fine with being part of the process of teaching someone their job, especially when I can see they really want to learn. And this young woman was, before the other guy came along, pleasant, cheerful and wanting to make my time there good. It wasn’t her fault that the damn smoker she picked up was clogged. The other thing is you give staff the tools they need to do the job, and don’t be putting it on them when the tools fail them. Get them better tools.

So now there is discord behind the bar. The young woman is upset and she goes off to work the tables in the seating area; a task I think she was mostly there for and only did behind the bar while the other bartender was away or on his break. Periodically she comes back to the bar to take the drink orders from the tables, and goes into the kitchen to bring out their food. But a definite chill is in the air and I am completely sympathetic with the young woman.

I hear another staff member, also young woman, just casually say to the guy “She’s pretty angry at you.” He seemed to shrug it off. I saw him talk to her semi privately a couple of times but what was said or what it was about I had no idea. Whatever it was it didn’t clear the air.

I am loath to insert myself into other people’s drama, but there are limits. I kept an eye on the movements of the young woman until I saw an opportunity to catch her eye away from the others, and motioned her over to a spot where we could talk without being seen.

I told her 1) I saw him grab your arm. That was way out of line. 2) you do not criticise staff in front of the customers, that is completely unprofessional. 3) the crapped up smoker was not your fault.

She thanked me but the look on her face was thanks enough. I went back to finish my drink. At some point someone, or some someones (there were other young women working there) must have said something to the guy because he came over and apologised to me for putting all that in front of me.

Okay…I’m a gay male and the dynamics of straight male/female interaction is a foreign land to me. Fine. But I think I get workplace dynamics pretty well. You keep your hands off your co-workers. Train your staff with a measure of patience and humility: you had to be trained once yourself. Keep your criticisms private. Keep it away from the customers. Whatever it is.