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March 24th, 2006

Fall In A Well And Die Charles.

While the Washington Post is busy providing its readers with balance by adding a drooling racist, sexist, war mongering homophobic nutcase to its web site, the rat faced git they’ve already had on their pages for years, Charles Krauthammer, is busy arguing that same sex marriage is like polygamy because…well, just because.

As Newsweek notes, these stirrings for the mainstreaming of polygamy (or, more accurately, polyamory) have their roots in the increasing legitimization of gay marriage. In an essay 10 years ago, I pointed out that it is utterly logical for polygamy rights to follow gay rights. After all, if traditional marriage is defined as the union of (1) two people of (2) opposite gender, and if, as advocates of gay marriage insist, the gender requirement is nothing but prejudice, exclusion and an arbitrary denial of one’s autonomous choices in love, then the first requirement — the number restriction (two and only two) — is a similarly arbitrary, discriminatory and indefensible denial of individual choice.

This line of argument makes gay activists furious. I can understand why they do not want to be in the same room as polygamists. But I’m not the one who put them there. Their argument does. Blogger and author Andrew Sullivan, who had the courage to advocate gay marriage at a time when it was considered pretty crazy, has called this the "polygamy diversion," arguing that homosexuality and polygamy are categorically different because polygamy is a mere "activity" while homosexuality is an intrinsic state that "occupies a deeper level of human consciousness."

But this distinction between higher and lower orders of love is precisely what gay rights activists so vigorously protest when the general culture "privileges" (as they say in the English departments) heterosexual unions over homosexual ones. Was "Jules et Jim" (and Jeanne Moreau), the classic Truffaut film involving two dear friends in love with the same woman, about an "activity" or about the most intrinsic of human emotions?

To simplify the logic, take out the complicating factor of gender mixing. Posit a union of, say, three gay women all deeply devoted to each other. On what grounds would gay activists dismiss their union as mere activity rather than authentic love and self-expression? On what grounds do they insist upon the traditional, arbitrary and exclusionary number of two?

 Well I have one.  His name is Gideon

ST. GEORGE, Utah — Abandoned by his family, faith and community, Gideon Barlow arrived here an orphan from another world.

At first, he played the tough guy, aloof and hard. But when no one was watching, he would cry.

The freckle-faced 17-year-old said he was left to fend for himself last year after being forced out of Colorado City, Ariz., a town about 40 miles east of here, just over the state line.

"I couldn’t see how my mom would let them do what they did to me," he said.

When he tried to visit her on Mother’s Day, he said, she told him to stay away. When he begged to give her a present, she said she wanted nothing.

"I am dead to her now," he said.

Gideon is one of the "Lost Boys," a group of more than 400 teenagers — some as young as 13 — who authorities in Utah and Arizona say have fled or been driven out of the polygamous enclaves of Hildale, Utah, and Colorado City over the last four years.

Some say they were sometimes given as little as two hours’ notice before being driven to St. George or nearby Hurricane, Utah, and left like unwanted pets along the road.

Authorities say the teens aren’t really being expelled for what they watch or wear, but rather to reduce competition for women in places where men can have dozens of wives.

"It’s a mathematical thing. If you are marrying all these girls to one man, what do you do with all the boys?" said Utah Atty. Gen. Mark Shurtleff, who has had boys in his office crying to see their mothers…

This isn’t some theoretical criticism of polygamy, we can actually watch this happening right here on American soil.  It is happening in Colorado City. A few dominant males are rounding up females like chattel, and competing with the other dominant males for harem size. The women are rendered progressively more and more powerless, dependent, and ignorant, because independent, strong willed, intelligent women are systematically selected out of the culture by men who don’t want their women straying out of the harem to find their own sexual and emotional fulfillment. Very young girls are taken by dominant males before they’re old enough to make their own choice, and maybe go with some other guy they actually like. In Colorado City, the local government has been utterly corrupted by the practice. And as of at least last summer, when that article was written, they were dumping their male children by the road out of town like so much human garbage.  They do this because every boy born in a polygamous community is a potential challenger to the harem of the dominant males the moment they reach puberty.

This is actually happening. We can watch it happening. Somebody tell me why this isn’t the necessary outcome of polygamy.  The question is always raised by jackasses like Krauthammer, that if we allow same sex marriage, why not polygamy too? Well…there’s why.

The problem for homophobic morons like Krauthammer is that their rhetoric about the danger to society of same sex marriage are all, without exception, either myths, lies, or superstitions.  Anti-gay propagandists like Stanley Kurtz have to lie about the effects same sex marriage has had on other countries to make their case

But Kurtz’s smoking gun is really just smoke and mirrors. Reports of the death of marriage in Scandinavia are greatly exaggerated; giving gay couples the right to wed did not lead to massive matrimonial flight by heterosexuals.

Currently there are nine European countries that give marital rights to gay couples. In Scandinavia, Denmark (1989), Norway (1993), Sweden (1994), and Iceland (1996) pioneered a separate-and-not-quite-equal status for same-sex couples called "registered partnership." (When they register, same-sex couples receive most of the financial and legal rights of marriage, other than the right to marry in a state church and the right to adopt children.) Since 2001, the Netherlands and Belgium have opened marriage to same-sex couples.

Despite what Kurtz might say, the apocalypse has not yet arrived. In fact, the numbers show that heterosexual marriage looks pretty healthy in Scandinavia, where same-sex couples have had rights the longest. In Denmark, for example, the marriage rate had been declining for a half-century but turned around in the early 1980s. After the 1989 passage of the registered-partner law, the marriage rate continued to climb; Danish heterosexual marriage rates are now the highest they’ve been since the early 1970’s. And the most recent marriage rates in Sweden, Norway, and Iceland are all higher than the rates for the years before the partner laws were passed. Furthermore, in the 1990s, divorce rates in Scandinavia remained basically unchanged.

Of course, the good news about marriage rates is bad news for Kurtz’s sky-is-falling argument. So, Kurtz instead focuses on the increasing tendency in Europe for couples to have children out of wedlock. Gay marriage, he argues, is a wedge that is prying marriage and parenthood apart.

The main evidence Kurtz points to is the increase in cohabitation rates among unmarried heterosexual couples and the increase in births to unmarried mothers. Roughly half of all children in Norway, Sweden, and Denmark are now born to unmarried parents. In Denmark, the number of cohabiting couples with children rose by 25 percent in the 1990s. From these statistics Kurtz concludes that " … married parenthood has become a minority phenomenon," and—surprise—he blames gay marriage.

But Kurtz’s interpretation of the statistics is incorrect. Parenthood within marriage is still the norm—most cohabitating couples marry after they start having children. In Sweden, for instance, 70 percent of cohabiters wed after their first child is born. Indeed, in Scandinavia the majority of families with children are headed by married parents. In Denmark and Norway, roughly four out of five couples with children were married in 2003. In the Netherlands, a bit south of Scandinavia, 90 percent of heterosexual couples with kids are married.

(Emphasis in the above mine)  The right has to lie about the effects of same sex marriage, and they do it brazenly, because their audience is mostly gay hating bigots like themselves who don’t actually give a flying fuck what the truth is, they just want excuses to keep hating homosexuals.  They lie about its corrosive effects on society and culture.  They lie about the harm it causes to children raised in same sex households.  And when their lies are exposed, they merely repeat them more and louder.  But you don’t have to lie about what’s going on in Colorado City, to make a case against polygamy.  You can see it happening for yourself.

Can we put this argument about same sex marriage leading to polygamy to rest now?  Well…no.  Because, see, it never was an argument to begin with.  The homophobic right has never argued their case against gay rights in good faith.  For decades it’s always been one transparent lie after another.  Can we finally start admitting that fact now, because it says it all.  Their minds will not be changed, because this was never about reasonable rational fears of what giving gay people equal rights might do to society.  It was always about hate.  Mindless, knee jerk, hate, and nothing more.  We could have same sex marriage in this country for a thousand years with no ill effects whatsoever, and if he could manage it, Krauthammer would still be arguing that same sex marriage will destroy us all, still babbling every crackpot theory about the dangers of homosexuality to anyone who will listen.

3 Responses to “Fall In A Well And Die Charles.”

  1. williehewes Says:

    Bruce,

    Your argument here is less than perfectly reasonable. No doubt the situation in Colorado City is tragic and a crime against equality. But arguing that anything other than one on one monogamy leads to situations like this is misleading.

    If you don’t mind me saying so, it’s a lot like arguing that acceptance of gay relationships leads to the pederasty and prostitution that were common in ancient Greece. They were all for homosexuality, and look what happened.

    Just because one type of [homosexuality/polygamy] is unacceptable doesn’t mean that all types are.

    Is it really so hard to imagine (for instance) three women who are dedicated to each other (and any children any of them might have)? If two women can marry and have the benefits and security of a state-recognised unity, why not three? You may not like it, Bruce, but that argument /does/ make sense.

    In the /entirely hypothetical/ situation that I would love two people, and they each other, and we decide to live together and set up a family (which to me does not necessarily involve children), I would like to be able to formalise the situation in an appropriate way, and not have to share the mortgage, pension, health insurance etc etc with one, but not the other.

    Of course it’s not the usual situation, most people lean towards forming couples. But just because it’s unusual, doesn’t mean it’s necessarily a bad thing.

    Please let me know what you think of this.

    Willie

  2. bruce Says:

    I will…just give me some time to get my thoughts together. Monday’s are not my best of times lately.

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