Fugitive hedge-fund manager Samuel Israel surrendered to police in Massachusetts, The Wall Street Journal reported Wednesday in its online edition, citing the Justice Department. Israel has been on the run since June 9 when his sport-utility vehicle was found abandoned in New York’s Westchester County with the words "suicide is painless" scrawled on the hood.
I’ll bet that suicide was especially painless. He was heading for jail for defrauding investors, so maybe he simply decided to end his life the way he lived it…by faking it. They talk a good game in the financial stratosphere about free markets and self reliance for pretty much the same reason the religious right likes to yap, yap, yap about Jesus and family values.
When Your Own Cheapshit Prejudices Start Laughing At You…
So as it turns out, One News Now, the so-called Christian News Service which is actually an American Family Association front group, gets newsfeeds from various real news wire services for its "service" which it then feeds back out to its subscribers in a Family Friendly sorta way. As it turns out, that means filtering the copy it gets from all those secular news sources to make the text more Family Friendly.
Their filtering software is about as doggedly single-minded about fighting The Gay Agenda as they are it seems. Even if it means also fighting the Tyson Gay Agenda…
This is the problem with auto replace. Here’s the article fetched from Google Cache. Go grab yourself a nice cold drink, sit a spell and have yourself a thoroughly enjoyable read…noting how the OneNewsNow auto-replace got all the instances of "Gay", but missed "Gay’s"…
Homosexual breaks Greene’s US record in 100 at trials
Homosexual broke Maurice Greene’s American mark in the 100 meters by running 9.77 seconds in his quarterfinal at the U.S. Olympic track and field trials.
"It tells me I’m in pretty good shape," Homosexual said. "We’ve got two more rounds left."
He tied the fourth-fastest time in the history of the event, despite clearly easing up a tad over his final few strides. Still, that was nothing compared what he did in his opening heat earlier in the day, when Homosexual came awfully close to a monumental blunder.
After building a big lead, the reigning world champion eased up a lot with about 30 meters left-so much that the rest of the field began to catch him. Homosexual was forced to accelerate again and he lunged across the finish line in fourth place, good enough to advance.
"The first round I was scared. I almost started crying. I didn’t know if I made it," Homosexual said after bettering the record Greene set in 1999. "This round I felt good."
As well he should. The performance had to be a big boost of confidence for Gay, who was a distant second-a spectator, really-in New York on May 31, when Jamaica’s Usain Bolt broke the world record by clocking 9.72.
Gay’s had to answer plenty of questions about how much of a challenge he’ll present at the Beijing Olympics to Bolt and another Jamaican, previous world record-holder Asafa Powell.
Could Homosexual challenge Bolt’s mark in Sunday’s semifinal or final?
"Anything’s possible," said Wallace Spearmon, who sneaked into the semifinals by running 10.07. "Tyson’s fast."
So is the track at Hayward Field, which already has produced two U.S. records in running events and is serving up the sort of dry, hot weather-the temperature hit 95 degrees Saturday-conducive to quick sprinting.
The runner-up in Gay’s quarterfinal was Jeffery Demps of Okahumpka, Fla., who got out of the blocks a bit ahead of the favorite and wound up setting a national high school record at 10.01. In other words, this was a very fast race.
Between the heats, Homosexual blamed his mistake in his opener on misjudging the lines on the track. It was hardly a veteran move from a man who has won the past two U.S. titles in the dash. He also completed a 100-200 double at the 2007 world championships.
When Homosexual spoke to his coach, Jon Drummond, before the quarterfinal, there was something of a talking-to.
"He told me champions don’t do that," Homosexual said, "and I had to make up for it."
Indeed, had he not recovered, an exit by Homosexual in the first round of qualifying would have been a major surprise at this 10-day meet to determine the American roster for the Beijing Games. His time of 10.14 seconds tied for the 11th-fastest among the 30 starters in the 100. That stuck him in lane 2 for his quarterfinal, a less-than-ideal position.
But it didn’t matter, and after Homosexual crossed the finish line, well ahead of everyone else, he looked up at the scoreboard briefly. Then the trailing runners approached to offer pats on the back and palm slaps.
Walter Dix, the 2007 NCAA champion from Florida State, Xavier Carter and John Capel were among others advancing to the 100 semifinals.
In the women’s 100 semifinals Saturday, Torri Edwards used a perfectly timed start and down-the-stretch speed to win her heat in 10.78 seconds-the fastest legal 100 time in the world this year, by a whopping 10th of a second.
That time also makes Edwards, the 2003 world champion, the eighth-fastest woman in history. She had no desire to discuss that showing, however, with the event final coming later Saturday.
"Finals, please," she said to reporters, and kept walking.
Saturday’s schedule at Hayward Field also included the conclusion of the heptathlon and the men’s shot put final.
Some Google search screen shots from Right Wing Watch showing how One News Now has been doing this to poor Tyson for quite some time now and nobody there seems to have noticed. Certainly none of their readers seem to have. You have to figure there aren’t all that many sports fans in the batshit crazy pews.
This is instructive, in a kind-of Road Runner verses Coyote sense. Chuck Jones once said that his Coyote fit the classic definition of a zealot as being someone who doubles their effort after they’ve forgotten what their original goal was. If the anti-gay fanatics over at OneNewsNow were just a tad little less fanatical, they’d have thought their brilliant plan to automatically replace "gay" with "homosexual" through a little more carefully. But we’re the bell to their Pavlov’s dog and they couldn’t even think to think. They just jerked their knees, and out came one headline after another, about how Tyson Homosexual set a record at the 100 yard dash.
"It tells me I’m in pretty good shape," Homosexual said. "We’ve got two more rounds left."
Hate destroys you from within and it laughs at you while it’s doing it.
A man in his late teens told police that he knew his roommate in Crown Hill smoked marijuana when they moved in together about a month ago.
But there was too much pot smoking too often.
Until last week, when one roommate took a few bong hits. The other roommate had enough, said there would be no more pot smoking and shattered the bong on the sidewalk.
Tempers flared. Obscenities flew. One pushed the other before both retreated to their rooms.
The next morning, the bong-breaking roommate returned to find that his Xbox and the power supply had been removed from the stereo shelf.
When he grabbed the game console, a liquid ran out that he said "smelled like urine," according to the police report.
He also found the joy sticks had been partially glued in place and a tube of glue was next to the controls.
No arrested had been made when the report was filed.
There’s a period of adjustment in every relationship…
It’s not “marriage” – some magical status granted by the government – that serves to make people “healthier, happier and wealthier.” It’s the behavior associated with the marital ideal that brings benefits to couples and their children. That behavior doesn’t require official sanction – any more than official sanction guarantees such behavior.
Medved goes on to make the standard anti-gay case that only opposite sex couples have that magic combination of male and female attributes that make a marriage both stable, and beneficial for children. But then he goes on to take that to its logical conclusion…
Consider some of the high profile heterosexual couples who have refused to get married. I don’t endorse the politics of Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon, but given their long-standing and apparently stable commitment, I don’t think their kids have suffered because they never legalized their relationship.
By the same token, I don’t believe that the children of Rosie O’Donnell and her partner will be able to make up for the lack of a father’s love through a change of bureaucratic policy in California or any other state.
Medved’s column is pretty much a simple rehashing of hoary anti-gay and more specifically, anti-male stereotypes. Gay men can’t control their sex drives because they are men. Well…yes…Lesbian couples are more stable because they’re both female, but children need both a mother and a father, so their unions are bad for children too. Never mind that there is not one iota of science behind any of this, let alone tradition. Consider for a moment, how big the straight jacket is that female sexuality is bound inside in male dominated societies. It isn’t male sexuality that’s being kept under a tight lid in a culture where boys can sew their wild oats, but girls are sluts if they do the same. Never mind all that. Just look at where this delivers Medved. He is now arguing, in all seriousness, that it is heterosexuality, not marriage, that provides for both stability and a better environment for children. Heterosexuals are actually so good at it, that marriage is completely unnecessary for them. This is seriously his argument.
We have been told, over and over again, that allowing homosexual couples to marry will make marriage itself worthless. And now along comes Michael Medved to argue that it is in fact heterosexuality, by its very nature, that renders marriage worthless. Sweet. Can we stop blaming gay people for the horrible state of marriage in this country now? Please?
LOS ANGELES – A federal judge suspended the obscenity trial of a Los Angeles porn distributor Wednesday following a newspaper report that the judge had sexually explicit material on his own Web site.
Judge Alex Kozinski on Wednesday granted a joint motion to suspend the trial after the prosecution said it needed time to look into the issue of the judge’s Web site.
The judge told the jury to return on Monday. The panel spent hours at the Pasadena offices of the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals watching videos depicting bestiality and extreme fetishes.
Kozinski is chief justice of the 9th Circuit but is serving as a trial judge in the obscenity case. Kozinski said he thought the material on his Web site couldn’t be seen by the public, the Los Angeles Times reported on its Web site. The images included a video of a "half-dressed man cavorting with a sexually aroused farm animal," the newspaper reported.
This is…not what I needed to be reading in the news feeds first thing in the morning. Human sexuality is a…strange thing to behold…sometimes.
Like…here… (via Dan Savage at SLOG) I probably didn’t need to be reading this before bedtime last night…
Hey, Cracked, this just arrived in my mailbox—and I actually don’t think it’s the 11th most terrifying guide to sex. I think it belongs somewhere in the top three. I certainly think it’s scarier than your #1 pick, A Hand in the Bush: The Fine Art of Vaginal Fisting, and way, way scarier than your #2 pick, Intimate Invasions: The Erotic Ins & Outs of Enema Play. I give you… The Toybag Guide to Ageplay…
I get asked all the time what Age Play is. It can mean a thousand different things to a thousand different sexual adventurers or curious roleplaying enthusiasts, but there are key threads that run through it.
Age play is any interaction or roleplay between consenting adults (or enjoyed solo by an adult) involving the concept of age as a dynamic… Age play incorporates a sensual or sexual element, buy many "age players," "kidz," babiez," or "littles" enjoy "pure" age play that is just about the role and not about any hanky panky.
Age play is not pedophilia, child porn, or individuals interested in playing with actual biological children. Age Players may use the props of "bio kids," but we are into the props and trappings, not the kids themselves in any way.
Go check out the cover of that book Savage has on display in that post. It’s…disturbing all right…
…and I suppose because I am a geek, my mind starts wondering about where the link might be between this behavior, which really squiks me out, and how we humans are always bestowing fond diminutives on the one we love. Ever call your darling ‘baby’? Now, you didn’t really mean that literally did you…and yet that got in there somehow. We use words like ‘girl’ and ‘boy’ even though we’re referring to grown adults. And then…again probably because I am a geek…the words of physicist Richard Feynman bubble into this train of thought…
Do not keep saying to yourself, if you can possibly avoid it, “But how can it be like that?” because you will get “down the drain”, into a blind alley from which no one has yet escaped. Nobody knows how it can be like that.
Feynman was talking about quantum mechanics, but there are lotsa more rabbit holes a brain can go down besides that one. Human sexuality for one. I guess it’s what you get when you plop that rational logical thinking brain down on top of the old primate brain, down on top of the old mammalian brain, down on top of the lizard brain. And God only knows what’s below that. It bears close examination only by interested scientists, anthropologists and other researchers with steady nerves. The rest of us are probably better off not knowing what our neighbors are up to.
I am the last person on earth to be surprised to read that a judge in a bestiality case has a web site where he’s posted videos of himself some guy cavorting with animals. Squiked out, yes, but not surprised. And probably a tad more resigned to it then most of you. I am a romantic. I really don’t like seeing this…really don’t like watching sex being dragged into the gutter. But I know better then to expect it won’t be. When I was a young man, only a few years out to myself, I had to walk a gauntlet of hard core heterosexual peep show magazines just to buy a copy of The Advocate or get a copy of the local free gay paper, because respectable news stands back then wouldn’t carry them. I was a Baptist boy and it was an education. Nothing I ever heard on the school yard playing ground, no dirty joke told among the rude boys, prepared me for what I saw in those adult bookstores. I consider it one of the few benefits of growing up in more oppressive times because ever since then, whenever some gay hater starts yap, yap, yapping about how perverted homosexual sex is (Hi Pete!) I instantly find myself thinking that they’re either naive, stupid, a liar or all of the above.
Strange? Strange? Well I’m here to tell you heterosexuals know how to get their strange on too and if you haven’t seen it that’s because you haven’t looked. The human family is just plain strange period. Gay people have no monopoly on that, and there are plenty of us who find all of that stuff positively bizarre too.
[Update…] According to Slashdot, the files on that judge’s web site also included …images of masturbation, public sex, contortionist sex, a transsexual striptease, and a photo of naked women on all fours painted to look like cows… Wasn’t that a Monty Python skit…?
[Update…] It wasn’t a video of the judge apparently…my bad…
Kagro X over at KOS catches David Brooks in usual form …babbling away about how democrats are elitists who know nothing about how the common folk live…unlike, well Brooks of course…
How big of a douchebag is David Brooks?
He’s such a big douchebag that he tries to criticize Barack Obama as not being an oh-so-regular guy (just like the tortoise shell spectacled and pink necktied drip Brooks is, of course) by saying:
[H]e doesn‘t seem like a guy who can go into an Applebee‘s salad bar and people think he fits in naturally there.
Only problem? David Brooks has apparently never stepped out of the limo and actually gone into an Applebees. Because they don’t have salad bars.
Dumbass.
Brooks is an expert in how the middle America that exists only in the middle of that empty space between his two ears Really lives…
Brooks, an agile and engaging writer, was doing what he does best, bringing sweeping social movements to life by zeroing in on what Tom Wolfe called "status detail," those telling symbols — the Weber Grill, the open-toed sandals with advanced polymer soles — that immediately fix a person in place, time and class. Through his articles, a best-selling book, and now a twice-a-week column in what is arguably journalism’s most prized locale, the New York Times op-ed page, Brooks has become a must-read, charming us into seeing events in the news through his worldview.
There’s just one problem: Many of his generalizations are false…
…
As I made my journey, it became increasingly hard to believe that Brooks ever left his home.“On my journeys to Franklin County, I set a goal: I was going to spend $20 on a restaurant meal. But although I ordered the most expensive thing on the menu—steak au jus, ‘slippery beef pot pie,’ or whatever—I always failed. I began asking people to direct me to the most expensive places in town. They would send me to Red Lobster or Applebee’s,” he wrote. “I’d scan the menu and realize that I’d been beaten once again. I went through great vats of chipped beef and ‘seafood delight’ trying to drop $20. I waded through enough surf-and-turfs and enough creamed corn to last a lifetime. I could not do it.”
Taking Brooks’s cue, I lunched at the Chambersburg Red Lobster and quickly realized that he could not have waded through much surf-and-turf at all. The “Steak and Lobster” combination with grilled center-cut New York strip is the most expensive thing on the menu. It costs $28.75. “Most of our checks are over $20,” said Becka, my waitress. “There are a lot of ways to spend over $20.”
The easiest way to spend more than $20 on a meal in Franklin County is to visit the Mercersburg Inn, which boasts “turn-of-the-century elegance.” I had a $50 prix-fixe dinner, with an entrée of veal medallions, served with a lump-crab and artichoke tower, wild-rice pilaf and a sage-caper-cream sauce. Afterward, I asked the inn’s proprietors, Walt and Sandy Filkowski, if they had seen Brooks’s article. They laughed.
I called Brooks to see if I was misreading his work. I told him about my trip to Franklin County, and the ease with which I was able to spend $20 on a meal. He laughed. “I didn’t see it when I was there, but it’s true, you can get a nice meal at the Mercersburg Inn,” he said. I said it was just as easy at Red Lobster. “That was partially to make a point that if Red Lobster is your upper end?” he replied, his voice trailing away. “That was partially tongue-in-cheek, but I did have several mini-dinners there, and I never topped $20.”
Microsoft Is Bill Gates. Bill Gates Is Microsoft. Understand Now?
Don Reisinger over at c/Net poses a question, regarding the company that made vaporware and FUD two of the central pillars of its business model…
I’m not going to sit here and say that every company should be admitting its failures for every problem with products, but can’t Microsoft finally admit that Vista is a major blunder that has cost the company far too much? Can’t Microsoft finally open its mouth just once and tell us what we should really expect for the future and promise us a new operating system that won’t commit the same mistakes Vista has committed?
No.
This has been another episode of Simple Answers To Simple Questions…
Good catch by Timothy Kincaid over at Box Turtle Bulletin. Gary Glenn, President of Michigan klavern of the American Family Association, waves the Homosexual Menace scarecrow over at Peter LaBarbra’s Americans For Truth. Beware the gays! Beware the Gays! Beware the Gays! Glenn is warning us about the Homosexual Menace. Can you spot the problem with this passage about the Homosexual Menace…?
Michigan’s largest homosexual activist group says once marriage is legally redefined to include homosexual couples, business owners and even news media outlets who refuse to recognize such marriages should be jailed or sued and “publicly slapped,” a Jewish and openly bisexual columnist for the Los Angeles Daily News reported Monday.
They call them Freudian slips. And hey…wasn’t Freud a Jew too…
Via numerous sources… When the homophobes say gays are obsessed with sex, count on them to describe the sex we are obsessed with in more detail then most gay pornography. So naturally, in the wake of the California decision, we see Peter LaBarbra framing the issues involved in his own demure way…
How Will California Homosexual Couples Consummate their Counterfeit ‘Marriages’?
Oh I suppose they’ll…Go To Disneyland!
Whatever. Here’s how my gay couple consummated the Lawrence v. Texas decision that finally overtuned the sodomy laws…
For someone who thinks same-sex sex is so ugly Peter, you sure do think about it a lot…
SecurityBob writes "Debian package maintainers tend to very often modify the source code of the package they are maintaining so that it better fits into the distribution itself. However, most of the time, their changes are not sent back to upstream for validation, which might cause some tension between upstream developers and Debian packagers. Today, a critical security advisory has been released: a Debian packager modified the source code of OpenSSL back in 2006 so as to remove the seeding of OpenSSL random number generator, which in turns makes cryptographic key material generated on a Debian system guessable. The solution? Upgrade OpenSSL and re-generate all your SSH and SSL keys. This problem not only affects Debian, but also all its derivatives, such as Ubuntu."
At last year’s Open Source Conference in Portland (OSCON), I was made aware of a wee dust-up between the Apache project and "some" Linux distros. Specifically, the Apache folks were complaining that certain Linux Distributions routinely modified their product, sticking libraries and configuration files wherever they damn well pleased because that was how, in their opinion, things should work.
Now…the beauty of Linux and open source in general is that it is open and community driven and anyone can do whatever they damn well please with it. I hope it always stays that way, Microsoft’s backdoor attempts to stifle it notwithstanding. But the other side of that coin is that if you modify someone else’s software to work with yours now it’s your responsibility. The Apache folks were complaining that they could not help end users configure their servers when they themselves didn’t know how the software worked anymore, particularly when it came to configuring it. That’s not a trivial complaint coming from a project that powers the majority of web servers. Most of what you see on the World Wide Web was fed to you by an Apache server, running on either Linux or Unix.
Well, the Debian folks pretty well knew who the Apache folks were talking about and sure as the sun rises they started pointing their fingers back at Apache’s big monolithic configuration file, and other in-their-righteous-opinion Apache shortcomings. Begun, the clone wars have…
My feeling is, if you change it you own it. At least in the sense of now you have to support it. At minimum you ought to run your "fixes’ by the people who are maintaining the software you are "correcting". They might actually appreciate what you’ve done and incorporate the changes into their build. Or they might tell you why you shouldn’t do that. Sometimes you should listen to that. But from what I hear, listening isn’t one of the Debian project’s best points.
I keep hearing about how wonderful Ubuntu is, and knowing that it’s a Debian family distro I’ve been highly reluctant to bother with it. I get along fine in the Red Hat family. For the past couple years I’ve been happily running CentOS here at Casa del Garrett and I admit I would like it a lot better if it came bundled with better multi-media support, but on the other hand adding packages to it isn’t hard because everything is pretty much where everyone expects it to be. Yes, I have to configure a lot of it in its own specific way, as opposed to having a nice common configuration system to do it for me. If you want consistency, open source isn’t going to work for you. Try Apple. Seriously. I run Macs here at Casa del Garrett too and damned if I haven’t been impressed by how well integrated everything is on a Mac. I do all my artwork on Bagheera, my art room G5 tower, because it just gets out of my way when I’m in a creative mood and lets me create. I love that. On the other hand, it’s like that because Steve won’t let software developers color outside the lines. Just ask anyone who ever unlocked an iPhone. That’s why I’m still running Linux here too.
I’ll endure lectures on how gays don’t actually want marriage rights from a lot of people…even from some other gay people…but not from another gay person who refers to gays as "same sex-attracted" not once, not twice, but eight times in a single column, as though he just can’t bring himself to utter the word ‘gay’ let alone ‘homosexual’. Still looking for that cure are we…?
"Are you embarrassed easily? I am. But it’s nothing to worry about; it’s all part of growing up and being British. This course is designed to eliminate embarrassment, to enable you to talk freely about rude objects, to look at awkward and embarrassing things and to point at people’s privates. The course has been designed by Dr Karl Gruber of the Institute of Going a Bit Red in Helsinki."
-Monty Python’s Flying Circus
Every Friday evening now for almost a year, I’ve made it a point to drive down to D.C. and hang with my gay friends down there. We have a regular happy hour/dinner end of week gathering. It keeps me sane. I’m single, I live all by myself up here in Baltimore, and if I don’t actively seek out companionship I just go nuts. I wasn’t cut out to be a loner.
This week I decided I wasn’t drinking. My body really isn’t used to regular drinking nights, and alcohol was never my favorite form of relaxation. So I just drank Cokes. One of my friends later blamed that for how embarrassed I became at the…erm…low altitude of the dinner conversation. But I don’t think so. You have to expect when you’re with a pack of gay guys in a gay bar in a gay neighborhood in a city with a large gay population, that the conversation is going to get a tad sexual. I strongly doubt that’s really any different from the tone of most conversations in straight pickup bars either, but I wouldn’t know about that. Last night however, thanks to a few folks at the dinner table the conversation got really really raunchy. So I did what I usually do when I’m not enjoying myself. I tuned out. Ironically, I suppose that was a tad rude of me. I really felt sorry for our waiter.
I blame my Baptist upbringing for the modesty to the point of paralyzing inhibition I’ve been stuck with ever since puberty. But it may also just be in my blood. I wish I could be more of a gay peacock. I was a cute little dickens when I was younger and I’ll go to my grave regretting I didn’t make more of that. And I get embarrassed. So much so that I’ve been asked outright on occasion if I really am gay. I think people mistake my embarrassment for disgust. But if I am anything it’s sexually frustrated, not turned off by the idea of sex between guys.
But I’ll cheerfully admit to being grossed out by some of the kinks people get into. Some heterosexuals get into those same kinks too and I don’t confuse my libido’s sexual tastes for a moral sensibility. As long as people consent to whatever it is they’re doing and as long as it’s done with some degree of care and sympathy it neither picks my pockets nor breaks my leg what they’re doing with each other. I don’t expect people to accommodate my embarrassments. Matter of fact I’m usually grateful when they don’t. But not last night. I wish I didn’t get embarrassed so easily, but I do not regret being a romantic in the least, which is the polar opposite of raunch, and there were other people in that dinning room besides us.
The night that started out with my making my first ever iTunes buy from my iPhone. Before heading downtown I was at a friend’s house when I heard Dionne Warwick singing This Girl’s In Love With You on his Pandora station…
You see this girl,
This girl’s in love with you
Yes I’m in love
Who looks at you the way I do
When you smile I can tell
We know each other very well
Somehow I’d never gotten around to buying that one…probably because I never saw it on the singles rack back when I was a teenager. But I sat there listening to it at my friend Jon’s house and next thing I know I’m calling up the iTunes store on my iPhone. My inner teeny-bopper has been grooving to it all day today. Probably as a tonic to last night’s raunch.
My hands are shakin’
Don’t let my heart keep breaking
‘Cause I need your love,
I want your love
Say you’re in love
And you’ll be my guy…
Am I really gay? As I was sinking deeper and deeper into my chair last night in embarrassment, one of the guys, who had been briefly married, started talking graphically about a certain way straight guys can make their ladies happy and That was when I started getting grossed out. No offense to my heterosexual readers here…I know some of you would probably get grossed out by a graphic conversation about the same sex version of that kind of sex, and that doesn’t make you homophobic. It’s just your libido grimacing. One person’s sweet delight is another’s gross-out and that’s just the way it goes. That part of us just has its own way of looking at the world and all you can do is just try to deal with it honorably.
I was embarrassed, not disgusted. But I think I have a plan. From now on I’ll save my drinking for when the conversation starts looking like the letters page of Screw magazine. Then I’ll walk up to the bar for a shot or two. They say people in a bar generally look better when you’re drunk. Probably they make better sense too.
Search Words: 2. explain the statement: "war is a continuation of politics by other means."
Okay…write this down… "War" is the sequel to the PlayStation game "Politics By Other Means", by D.C. LaRue Novelty and Business Software, the brash gaming upstart that revolutionized bash console 2D sprite games. Written entirely in ADA, a programming language created by the U.S. Department of Defense, "War" takes "Politics By Other Means" to new heights by introducing Higgs boson controllers, dark energy, lead free sprites and support for Hercules graphics mode. A version for Microsoft’s Zune player is in the works.
The False Positive Wasn’t The Drug Test…It Was The Police Exam…
Do you take vitamins? Did you ever travel with vitamins? Oh, well… if you take a lot of vitamins, and they’re not the kind that says "Joe’s Vitamins" on the side "the plain-looking vitamins" and you have a whole lot, and you don’t the whole big jumbo thing on the road, you take as many as you need – and they’re not marked. And the jar you put them in isn’t marked. If a policeman really wants to give you a hard time, he can hold you overnight while they check the vitamins. That’s why I travel with Flintstones vitamins!
-George Carlin
Unfortunately…that’s not a plan that works anymore…
SARASOTA — When the police stopped him one night in Sarasota, Villis Sanders told officers that the small blue pills in his car were Aleve, an over-the-counter medicine for his aching wisdom teeth.
A patrolman used a drug kit to verify what the pills were.
The test said the tablets were amphetamines, Sanders was jailed and his car was impounded.
But it turns out that the test was wrong. Prosecutors took the pills to a laboratory before Sanders’ trial and found out that they were Aleve, after all.
In typical fashion, the DA’s office never bothered to tell Sanders that the charges were dropped because…well…he was innocent. He found out when he went to court and they told him to go back home.
Experts say that "false positives" are rare, but when the police department tested additional pills — including an Aleve tablet provided by the Herald-Tribune — the results were the same: Aleve shows up as amphetamines.
No one knows why the test keeps getting it wrong.
The manufacturer said that officers might not have been properly trained, or that Aleve might contain a compound similar to one found in amphetamines.
Officials from Bayer Health Care, which makes Aleve, did not immediately respond to questions.
And Sarasota police officials questioned both the kits and the compounds in Aleve — but say that they did everything they could to figure out what Sanders was carrying that night.
Well…not quite Everything…
In this case, both of the tablets found in Sanders’ car were blue and oblong, and each was stamped with the word "Aleve."
I’m waiting for the day when I read a news story about a man who was arrested and jailed and had his car impounded for possession of a quarter pound of cocaine that turned out upon further examination back at the lab to be a Quarter Pounder With Cheese. Well the test said it was cocaine so we arrested him…
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