Okay…he’s saying that he just had a massage.  No sex.  Question: why is the head of one of the biggest mega churches in the country going to a guy like Mike Jones, who advertises himself as offering a "Swedish style massage with the pleasure of the man in mind.  If you like a strong muscle man to bring pleasure to you then please call me.  I am a muscle stud with a friendly personality…" and says among his other attributes, that his thighs are 24 inches?  What the hell does thigh measure have to do with giving you a massage?  And Jones is in Denver, not Colorado Springs.  Why isn’t Haggard going to one of the many fine (and professional) massage clinics that a simple google search turns up right in Colorado Springs?  Because they wouldn’t sell him Meth?

And…  Where did Haggard find this guy?  I doubt it was in the Yellow Pages.  Here’s his web site (via Raw Story/PageOneQ).  Compare this guy’s advertising with the Colorado Springs Search For Fitness page I linked to above and tell me they’re both in the same line of business.