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March 10th, 2007

A Few Helpful Definitions

The religious right is having another one of its puppet shows this weekend.  This one is in San Francisco…which they insist was only chosen for the venue because of it’s abilty to host their event.  Certainly not because they wanted to incite anti-gay passions in a city with a large gay population…

A two-day event called BattleCry starts Friday at AT&T Park, the downtown baseball stadium. Organizers say the gathering, which includes performances by Christian rock bands and inspirational speakers, is a way for young Christians to speak out against what they view as destructive cultural elements, including sex on television, obscene music and violent video games.

Tasha White, 18, attended the event last year and said it had opened her eyes to “a culture leading us into brokenness.”

“You look at Britney Spears, and what she did and that leads to divorce and rehab and drugs, and that’s a negative influence,” said Ms. White, who lives in nearby San Bruno and said she had had problems with under-age drinking herself. “And that’s not something I believe our generation should be looking forward to.”

Ms. White added that she did not think there was anything antigay about the event, though she believes gay people are “misguided.”

Mr. Luce echoed that sentiment, saying his group loves gay people, but does firmly believe their sexuality is sinful.

“We see homosexuality like a lot of other things that do harm to us, like lying, or cheating, or stealing,” he said, adding that he said he had seen studies suggesting that many gay people are depressed or unhappy. “And it’s not very loving to leave them in that state and not show them another way.”

It’s really touching how a movement that routinely lies through its teeth about homosexuals and what science reveals about sexual orientaion and family life teaches its puppets to say that homosexuality is as harmful as lying and cheating.  And yes…these kids are being cynically used as puppets.  Add to the long list of crimes against humanity perpetrated by the religious right, their willingness to take idealistic and passionate youth full of concern about the state of world and its people, cram their trusting heads full of tactical lies, and set them loose to destroy the very thing they’re so ardent to save.  You could teach them to think for themselves, so they might find the answers this generation could not.  But then they might question authority instead of "question homosexuality", and that would be a sin.

If you’ve followed the anti-gay agenda for very long, you’ve probably noticed a few dozen or so pat phrases that keep popping up, along with an assortment of words that don’t seem to mean the same thing in the twilight zone of the religious right that they do in the real world.  As a public service, I thought I’d provide a few helpful definitions… 

Homosexual:  There is no such thing.  Just people who keep having sex with persons of the same sex, no matter how much fear of God and acid disgust and self loathing we manage to cram into them.

Gay:  A word that was full of cheerful carefree happiness until the homosexuals turned it into a code word for disgusting behavior.

Family:  A word that was full of loving, nurturing, caring, security and warmth until we turned it into a code word for heterosexual supremacy.

Family Friendly:  The civil way of saying "No Faggots Allowed".

Homophobe/Homophobia: Made up words, created by militant homosexual activists to stigmatize Christians who speak out against sin.  Similar to how the word ‘xenophobe’ was invented by bleeding heart one-world liberals to stigmatize patriots who merely wish to keep their communities safe from foreigners and immigrants.  Other invented words include Hydrophobic and Hydrophobia.

Ex-Gay:  A person who is no longer one of those homosexuals that do not really exist.

Ex-Gay (II):  A person who found freedom in the ten commandments of God, and the 1,287,094,873,922 1/2 commandments of the Southern Baptist Convention.

Ex-Gay (III):  A person who did not question homophobia.

Ex-Gay (IV):  A person graced by Christ after 50 years of prayer and repentance with blessed relief from the sexual temptations they had when they were a hot and bothered teenager.

SADD (Same Sex Attraction Disorder):  Since there are no homosexuals, we needed a new word for people who keep having sex with persons of the same sex.  And it had to be the opposite of ‘Gay’, since that’s how those people who aren’t homosexuals keep identifying themselves and we must disagree with everything they have to say about who and what they are.

Struggling with Homosexuality:  A person with Same Sex Attraction Disorder who keeps insisting that there isn’t anything wrong with them.

Struggling with Homosexuality (II):  A person with Same Sex Attraction Disorder who might be cured if only we can love them into hating themselves just a little more.

Struggling with Homosexuality (III):  A person with Same Sex Attraction Disorder whose life is careening downward in a reckless spiral of sexual addiction, prostitution, crime and drugs.  If only they had listened to us when we told them that homosexuals only lead lives of sexual addiction, prostitution, crime and drugs.  

Brokenness:  What makes abusing homosexuals justified.  ie: if they’re already broken to begin with, then this can’t really be hurting them.  

Sexual Sin/Addiction:  Having sex and liking it.

Sexual Sin/Addiction (II):  Having sex and not being ashamed of it.

Sexual Sin/Addiction (III):  Having sex with the one you love and feeling blessed.
 
Transformed by Christ:  Still paying money to their ex-gay ministry.

Found Freedom From Homosexuality:  Now employed by their ex-gay ministry.

False Image:  What a yellow wall constructs to convince itself that it’s yellow.

Misguided:  You’re ignoring me.

Gender Confusion:  You don’t fit into any of my gender stereotypes, so you must be confused.

Gender Confusion (II):  Your attractiveness is challenging my heterosexuality, so you must be confused.

Gender Confusion (III):  Your gender non-conformity is confusing me so I must beat the living crap out of you.

Homosexual Lifestyle: All our most disgusting and perverted sexual fantasies and disorders bundled together and tied with a little ribbon of love, placed on the backs of homosexuals.  The cross we nail homosexuals to so they can die for our sins.

Homosexual Agenda:  A homosexual who thinks they should be treated just like anyone else.

Militant Homosexual Agenda:  A homosexual who expects to be treated just like anyone else.

Militant Homosexual:  A homosexual who thinks there isn’t anything wrong with being a homosexual.

Militant Homosexual Activist:  A homosexual acting like they think there isn’t anything wrong with being a homosexual.

Love The Sinner:  Remember how Lenny in Of Mice And Men loved his puppy?  We love you just as much.

[Edited a tad…]

One Response to “A Few Helpful Definitions”

  1. Willie Hewes Says:

    Great stuff, I got a laugh out of that one. I especially like the one for Lifestyle. Too true.

    The Battlecry people are well scary, by the way. The weird thing is, some of the things they’re concerned about, I’m concerned about too. But they get it all wrong when they’re talking about ‘what should be done’.

    I think they’re right when they say they’re not particularly anti-gay. They’re just anti sex. And in their books, one follows from the other. Being OK with your own sexuality threatens the cardboard box labeled ‘sin’ that they’ve carefully constructed around their own sexuality.

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