So…I’m wandering the web and the various gay news sites and I come across this shot of actor TR Knight and his BF doing Disneyland…

More Here.  I recall wandering around Disneyworld not too long ago.  I had a great time.  But I go into these vacations willing myself not to think about how alone I am wherever I go…which is one reason I’ve always avoided theme parks.  If I don’t do that, if I’m not successful at forgetting, then I just want to go back home.  And there have been times I’ve done just that.

I’m happy for these guys.  I really am.  But seeing stuff like this…at this stage of my life…just reminds me of the life I never had and I don’t want it to.  I just want to feel happy for them.  But…I failed.  I never found it.  God knows I tried (even if a certain heartless jackass in Alexandria wants to keep telling himself that I never did).  I tried.  It never happened.  It just…never happened.  But then…people who look like that want people who look like that…

Wow…  That looks like the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad ride.  I wanted to do that one while I was at Disneyworld but I thought, one roller coaster at a time so I did Space Mountain instead.  Look at those smiles.  Damn.  Just…Damn…