) Do you have a crush on somebody?
Not at this time.

) Do you hate more than 3 people?:
What is hate? There are people in this world that really piss me off. More then three without a doubt. But the only person I ever knew personally who could get a snarl out of me, my maternal grandmother, died years ago. My world got a little brighter.

) What’s a random word?
A word that seems to come out of nowhere given the context?

) Least favorite school subject?:
Algebra was horrible. I wish someone had taken me aside and explained to me that you could look at it as a kind of symbolic logic. I might have gotten it then.

) How many pairs of shoes do you own?:
Four casual sneakers, one pair dress, one pair hiking boots, one pair snow boots, one pair sandals.

) Name one thing that is always on your mind:
Being single.

) What is your zodiac sign?:
Virgo. But astrology is crap.

) Ever made a prank phone call?:
When I was a pre-teen. You’re allowed to be a juvenile idiot at that age. In fact, it’s part of your job description.

) Are you sarcastic?:
No. I can be ironic. I’ll kid people with a completely straight face.

) How many watches do you own?:
I still have the mechanical watch I wore in High School but I don’t wear it anymore. I hate having things hanging off my forearms. I don’t even like long sleeved shirts.

) Is anyone in love with you?
Not that I am aware.

) Favorite color to wear?:
I like them all. I wear mostly blue though…as in blue jeans.

) What color is your cell phone?:
Slate and silver.

) Where is your second home?:
Oceano, California.  Yes.  I would live there if I could.

) Have you ever slapped someone?:
No. I’ve punched a few people in my lifetime though. Always after being punched. I will not throw the first one.

) Have you ever had a cavity?:
Yeah. I had very crooked teeth when I was a kid. I have a bunch of caps now, and a much better smile.

) How many lamps are in your bedroom?:
Four counting the lights on the ceiling fan.

) Ever had braces?:
No.

) Do looks matter?:
Yes…but I am not looking for a supermodel. An intelligent, aware face and a friendly smile can make my knees buckle.

) Do you use chapstick?:
In the winter, yeah. But I use it sparingly. You can actually get addicted to it.

) Name 3 teachers from high school:
Frank Moran, my art teacher.  Best.  Teacher.  Ever.  Mr. Ochse: sociology.  Mr. Bundy: science.

) American Eagle or Abercrombie?:
Not. Levis and Hechts.

) Are you too forgiving?:
I can be a real hard ass until someone says they’re sorry, and then I just go all limp and wussy and forgive probably a lot more then I should…

) How many children do you want?:
None for me thanks. I’m more a Be Everyone’s Uncle kinda guy…

) Do you own something from Hot Topic?
I think some of them are hilarious but I don’t wear things people have to read. My heart is on my sleeve enough as it is.

) Favorite breakfast meal?:
If I’m eating one, pancakes and eggs and bacon. Over easy.

) Ever thought you were in love?:
I have been in love. It was wonderful. Makes life worth living. Makes it sweet.

) When was the last time you cried?:
Last October, after someone I’d known as a friend since High School told me I should go back in the closet if I wanted to make friends and get by in the world.

) What did you do 3 nights ago?:
Sat at my drafting table drawing.

) Olive Garden?:
Yeah. It’s good. Too much on my plate usually though.

) Have you ever called your teacher mommy?:
Uhm…no. I’ve felt comfortable enough with a few to call them by their first names though.

) Nicknames?:
Bag. My initials spell the word and it’s how I used to sign my cartoons in school. Only friends from High School are allowed to use it.

) Do you know anyone named Bertha?:
Nope. I mistook a gal named Martha for a guy once. And no…she was not big and ugly, she was lithe and handsome and very very cute. Small hips and butt for a gal though. Threw me.

) Do you own something from Banana Republic?:
Nope.

) Are you thinking about somebody right now?
Yes.

) Do you smoke?:
The occasional cigar. Usually La Gloria Cubana. I’ve had a few genuine Cubans and my god they’re…potent. Smooth…and make your head go into the stratosphere.

) Are you happy with your life right now?:
Yes. And…No.

) Do you dye your hair?:
Sometimes. It’s not the gray…its that it’s loosing it’s nice light brown with blond strands. The light brown and blond strands are the ones going gray, leaving only dark brown and gray now. I don’t like it.

) Does anyone have a crush on you?:
Not that I am aware.

) What year were you born?:
1953

) McDonalds or Wendys?
Oh…McDonalds I suppose. I’d rather do a diner though.

) Do you like yourself?:
Yes.

) Are you closer to your mother or father?:
I loved them both, but was closer to mom I reckon because she was around more often in my life, and set a better example.

) Favorite physical feature of the preferred sex?:
This question is so embarrassing. Okay…first, their face. Then…their hips and butt. I like watching lean guys walk. Ask me how much I hate loose baggy pants.

) Are you afraid of the dark?:
No. My reflex is to learn all I can about what frightens me. I’m a "light a candle instead of curse the darkness" kinda guy…but not because I want to light the world. I’m just curious.

) Have you ever stripped?:
Well…I don’t bathe in a bathing suit. Unless it’s really cold I’ll sleep without clothes on. I like wrapping my body in nice clean cotton sheets at night. A lover’s arms would be nice too.

) Ever broke a bone?:
A toe once. That’s luckily been it.

) Are you religious?:
Not religious. Very spiritual though. I love the god I see in nature.  Science is a very spiritual activity when you think about it.

) Do you chat on AIM often?:
Among my co-workers yes. My Ex and I used to do it a lot.

) Pringles or Lays?:
Utz. Which I guess is a Maryland-Pennsylvania thing. Nothing beats ’em.

) Have you ever broken someones heart?:
I don’t think so. Gosh I hope not. I would never want to do that.

) Has anyone ever called you fat?:
I was so thin for a while one friend told me his mom asked if I was a heroin addict. I wore 28 inch waste jeans. Sometime in my mid thirties it changed and I started putting on weight. One day when I went to visit mom one of her neighbors remarked on how much better I looked since I’d put on so much weight and I wanted to just die.

) Do you have a birth mark?:
I used to have a tiny little permanent freckle-like thing near my stomach that could either be a mouse or a coiled up snake…but I can’t find it anymore so I guess it finally went away. I thought it was kinda neat because my birth year is a Chinese year of the snake.

) Do you own a car?:
Yes. A 2005 Honda Accord four-door. Five speed vTech four. I got the full dressed version with the nice leather seats and wood (ersatz) trim inside. After so many years of only being able to afford the cheapest car on the lot, this time I wanted something nice.
Then gas prices went up…

) Can you cook?:
A little. I have a fish fry recipe that my neighbors all love.

) 3 things that annoy you:
Advertising. Religion addicts at my door. Registration only web news sites.

) Do you text message often?:
As in cell phone texting? Just about never.

) Money or love?
Love of course!

) Do you have any scars?:
Not externally.

) What do you want more than anything right now?:
To hear from T.A.

) Do you enjoy scary movies?:
Not really. If they’re subtle. I hate slasher flicks. That’s just pushing buttons.  The 1963 version of The Haunting is probably my all time favorite ghost flick.  By today’s standards its probably pretty lame but I liked the way it tried to get inside your head where your fear of shadowy things that go bump in the night lives.  The Shirley Jackson book it’s based on will keep you awake nights with the lights on.

) Relationships or one night stands?:
Relationships!

) Do you enjoy greasy food?
Not greasy. Fried and Deep fried doesn’t’ have to be like that. You pad off the oil when you take it out of the fryer, or let it drain as you’re cooking it. Don’t let the food soak in it.

) Do you own a box of crayons?:
Uhm…pastels. But I’ve never really gotten into pastels.  They kinda just sit in the box waiting for me to take an interest.

) Who was the last person that said they loved you?:
Still waiting for the first.

) Who was the last person that made you mad?:
That I know personally? Stuart. But I get mad just about every time I read the news these days.

) Who was the last person that made you cry?:
See above.

) Who was the last person that made you laugh?:
Michele. Some of her bulletins are just hilarious. But the guy (on MySpace) who posted this had one answer on it that made me laugh out loud too. (hips eh…?)

) Who was the last person that you fell for?
Keith.  And yes…I fall.  Hard.  Or not at all it seems.

) Who was the last person that instant messaged you?
Tom, my branch manager. Because we’re all scattered throughout the building, the people in my branch (software engineering) actually use AIM to talk to each other a lot.

) Who was the last person that called you?:
My brother, Billy.

) Who is the person most likely to fill this out?:
They’re either bored, vain, horribly self absorbed, or much too introspective for their own damn good.