I like to read Drew Curtis’ Fark.Com precisely for its being such a mixed bag.  The Photoshop contests are what I mostly like, but the random news links users throw in there are often interesting too.  And sometime the user community response is even more interesting. 

The other day, someone posted a link to this story …

Man Allegedly Attacks Quizno’s Cup Mascot

NORTH HUNTINGDON, Pa. — For four years, Tammy Scattell has been hiring teenagers to fill a Quizno’s cup costume and advertise her North Huntingdon Quizno’s store.

Now, she can’t get anyone to do it.

"They’re like, ‘Let’s just give it some time.’ They are afraid to go out now. It’s kind of scary," Scattell said. The cup suit is a great marketing tool.

But police said a teen inside the suit took punches and kicks from a man who pulled over to attack him along Route 30 while his buddies took pictures of it on their camera phones.

A North Huntingdon police officer’s wife saw it happening and called police.

"A young man had jumped out of the vehicle, knocked a boy over in a Quizno’s suit and started kicking him. They got back in the vehicle and took off, and we were able to stop them a short time later," said Patrolman Tom Harris, of the North Huntingdon police. The Quizno’s mascot is OK.

These men face summary disorderly conduct citations:

Nicholas Trumpe, of Elizabeth
Justin Walker and Tony Anthony, of Greensburg
Jeremiah Bozich, of Irwin
Brian Goossen, of Jeannette

Each of the men is in his 20s.

They thought it was funny.  Funny enough to take pictures as a keepsake.  Maybe show them around to all their friends.  Maybe post them on the Internet.  Fuckin hilarious…  A number of Farkers seemed to agree…

At least he was wearing a cup.

 

Thereby accomplishing what most of us have always wanted to do to character suited figures, but have never dared.

 

I so very badly want to do that but I have never seen one in my city.

 

I have wanted to do this oh so many times.

/minus the camera phones
//maybe just one

 

Thanks dude who beat up foam Quizno’s cup guy as I’ve wanted to do that as every single time I leave Quizno’s I have the crazy shaits. But I keep on going back.

 

QiznOWNED

 

Furries are bad enough. Pervs who dress as inanimate objects deserve whatever they get.

One of them almost gets it though…

When Bestbuy had their grand opened in New Orleans we tried for thirty minutes to get one of my friends to tackle the big stupid looking tag mascot that was waving and just being a general dumbass. Finally after we promised him 40 bucks he agreed. We waited on one of the isles and when the tag was coming by he got a huge running start and speared the crap out of it. We were all in uproarious laughter until we started to hear cries and then the tag unzipped to reveal a 14 year old girl. He got expelled from our school and an assult conviction….

But then he ends it with… 

best.bet.evar.

Actually, you and your pals should have been arrested and jailed too, for paying that guy forty bucks to beat up a kid in a costume.  Especially the ones who paid to watch it.

The sight of those mascot things usually irritates me, but that’s because I project on them how I would feel if I was trapped in a dead end minimum wage job and forced to humiliate myself in front of every car that drove by my place of work.  I am a deathly shy soul, more stage crew then stage, and I would probably walk off the job rather then put one of those goddamned things on.  But some people really like doing the mascot thing.  I’ve met a few of them over the course of my lifetime, and they’re generally sweet exuberant souls who just want to make everyone smile.  Bully bait, in other words. 

Let it be said that not everyone in that thread thought what those guys did was funny.  A few were pissed off that the only charge leveled against the attackers was disorderly conduct.  What kind of person thinks it’s not only funny, but funny enough to take pictures of someone beating up someone else for no other reason then…well…it’s funny to watch someone getting beaten up.  The kind of person you don’t really want walking the streets.  And precisely because they don’t think its any big deal, and can’t fathom why anyone would want to make a big deal out of it.  It was just some kid in a stupid costume…fuckin hilarious watching him trying to fight back from inside that stupid costume…  It’s not what people hate that tells you how depraved they are…it’s what makes them laugh.