Bruce Garrett Cartoon
The Cartoon Gallery

A Coming Out Story
A Coming Out Story

My Photo Galleries
New and Improved!

Past Web Logs
The Story So Far archives

My Amazon.Com Wish List

My Myspace Profile

Bruce Garrett's Profile
Bruce Garrett's Facebook profile


Blogs I Read!
Alicublog

Wayne Besen

Beyond Ex-Gay
(A Survivor's Community)

Box Turtle Bulletin

Chrome Tuna

Daily Kos

Mike Daisy's Blog

The Disney Blog

Envisioning The American Dream

Eschaton

Ex-Gay Watch

Hullabaloo

Joe. My. God

Peterson Toscano

Progress City USA

Slacktivist

SLOG

Fear the wrath of Sparky!

Wil Wheaton



Gone But Not Forgotten

Howard Cruse Central

The Rittenhouse Review

Steve Gilliard's News Blog

Steve Gilliard's Blogspot Site



Great Cartoon Sites!

Tripping Over You
Tripping Over You

XKCD

Commando Cody Monthly

Scandinavia And The World

Dope Rider

The World Of Kirk Anderson

Ann Telnaes' Cartoon Site

Bors Blog

John K

Penny Arcade




Other News & Commentary

Lead Stories

Amtrak In The Heartland

Corridor Capital

Railway Age

Maryland Weather Blog

Foot's Forecast

All Facts & Opinions

Baltimore Crime

Cursor

HinesSight

Page One Q
(GLBT News)


Michelangelo Signorile

The Smirking Chimp

Talking Points Memo

Truth Wins Out

The Raw Story

Slashdot




International News & Views

BBC

NIS News Bulletin (Dutch)

Mexico Daily

The Local (Sweden)




News & Views from Germany

Spiegel Online

The Local

Deutsche Welle

Young Germany




Fun Stuff

It's not news. It's FARK

Plan 59

Pleasant Family Shopping

Discount Stores of the 60s

Retrospace

Photos of the Forgotten

Boom-Pop!

Comics With Problems

HMK Mystery Streams




Mercedes Love!

Mercedes-Benz USA

Mercedes-Benz TV

Mercedes-Benz Owners Club of America

MBCA - Greater Washington Section

BenzInsider

Mercedes-Benz Blog

BenzWorld Forum

July 25th, 2008

The Newsstand At The Corner Of Batshit And Crazy

You may think it was aliens from another planet who came out of that UFO and abducted you in order to perform hideous experiments on your body.  But in fact it was the demonic minions of Satan, disguised as aliens, and sent to earth to test your Christian faith.  No, really

Former Apollo 14 astronaut, Dr. Edgar Mitchell, has recently made it public knowledge that aliens exist and that NASA officials have had contact with them. Dr. Mitchell says that there has been a sixty-year cover-up by our government of the existence and reality of aliens.

No doubt, all this will be used to support evolution and discredit the Bible. The fact remains, however, that science has shown that only micro-evolution (variations within a biological kind such as varieties of dogs, cats, horses, cows, etc.) is possible but not macro-evolution (variation across biological kinds or from simpler kinds to more complex ones). The reader is encouraged to read the author’s article ‘The Natural Limits of Evolution’ at www.religionscience.com. Mathematical probability alone has shown that it is not rational, logical, or scientific to believe that life could originate by chance.

Alien beings cannot wait millions of years to evolve complex and necessary organs for survival anymore than species on earth. Imagine a species waiting millions of years for reproductive organs to evolve so that it can finally reproduce!

Then, how do we explain aliens if they are for real? The Bible teaches that Satan and his demons (the fallen angels) can take on take all sorts of shapes and perform all sorts of miracles in order to deceive mankind. In fact, some who have been claimed to be abducted by aliens say that these aliens have told them things that undermine the truth of the Christian Scriptures and the Person and work of Jesus Christ.

This is not say that God cannot create life on other planets, but the point being made here is that the supposed alien contacts popularly mentioned are not actual alien beings at all but the work of dark supernatural forces.

Thus Spake The Conservative Voice.  And lest you think this guy is just another babbling street corner nutcase, I’m telling you he’s got credentials

The author, Babu G. Ranganatha, has his B.A. degree with concentrations in theology and biology from Bob Jones University, and has been recognized for his writings on religion and science in the 24th edition of Marquis Who’s Who In The East.

That’s Bob with a ‘B’ Jones University my man.  They don’t hand out diplomas to just any old crank who walks in the door let me tell you.  I mean…imagine, just imagine, a species waiting millions of years for reproductive organs to evolve so that it can finally reproduce.  Just…imagine.

So now I’ve seen UFO conspiracy theory, Creationism, Darbyist fundamentalism, and right wing conservatism all rolled into one.  Who needs drugs when you’ve got reality?

2 Responses to “The Newsstand At The Corner Of Batshit And Crazy”

  1. Bob C Says:

    The bible is FULL of accounts that can very easily be explained as Alien visitations. Angles, Demons, Pillars of light, bright stars that move around for Wise men to follow. Pauls "vision" on the road to Damascus, Jesus himself saying "I am not of this Earth, I come from above, far beyond".
    And then there is Bob Lazar, a kiss-and-tell physicist who worked at Area 51, who eventually found that Aliens regard us as nothing more then "Containers" (For souls?) And that Aliens basically created 3 different world religions (Complete with emaculate conceptions, and attended to by "angles") all for the purpose of giving us some basic guidelines so we don’t "Damage the containers".
    THAT sounds just as much, if not more plausible then the whole Christian-Jesus tale. In fact, I like that version MUCH better! 
    Jesus was an Alien Zombie! 
    And yes, there have been other astronauts who have said in interviews that "We are not alone", and have seen other ships and things on the moon. For a little heavy reading (In that its full of a lot of math and geometry) Read "Dark Mission" by Richard Hoagland. (It wouldn’t surprise me if knowingly, or unknowingly, you had written some code that went along with some of the things he petitioned NASA to do)
    I like the idea of Aliens! 

  2. Willie Hewes Says:

    Huhhhwhaaa?!
    Well done, that is a scary amount of crazy. I still don’t understand what space aliens have to do with evolution, but this seems to be written in logic-proof script anyway, so who knows.

Leave a Reply

Visit The Woodward Class of '72 Reunion Website For Fun And Memories, WoodwardClassOf72.com


What I'm Currently Reading...




What I'm Currently Watching...




What I'm Currently Listening To...




Comic Book I've Read Recently...



web
stats

This page and all original content copyright © 2024 by Bruce Garrett. All rights reserved. Send questions, comments and hysterical outbursts to: bruce@brucegarrett.com

This blog is powered by WordPress and is hosted at Winters Web Works, who also did some custom design work (Thanks!). Some embedded content was created with the help of The Gimp. I proof with Google Chrome on either Windows, Linux or MacOS depending on which machine I happen to be running at the time.