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February 14th, 2008

Adios Valentine’s Day 2008….

What Valentine’s Day would be complete without a heartwarming story of true love succeeding against impossible odds?

Married prison psychologist fell pregnant after affair with mentally-ill inmate

A married psychologist is about to have a baby by a mentallyill prisoner after one-to-one therapy sessions, a court heard yesterday.

Stephanie Reeves, 30, had sex with the convicted criminal in the lavatories of a secure hospital unit while escorting him to the gym.

He is currently being treated for paranoid schizophrenia at Ashworth secure hospital, where patients include Moors murderer Ian Brady.

Reeves – whose husband also worked at the unit – said she loves the prisoner and plans to raise the child with him if he is ever considered safe enough to be released.

In other news, Fark.Com is having their annual design a Valentine card you’d send to an ex Valentine’s Day photoshop theme…

 

And you thought I was bitter.  So…to any knuckle-dragging homophobes who might be thinking that my little Valentine’s Day poster contest is only proof that The Gay Lifestyletm is inherently desperate and lonely: just peruse the cannonballs being lobbed across the gender fence over at Fark.Com.  Or just google "anti-valentine".  There’s a lot of discontent out there on the heterosexual side of the street too.  And I’ll bet you pinched faced, uptight blue noses are responsible for a lot of That too.

And in other Valentine’s Day headlines…

Razer blade found in Valentine’s Day lollipop

Radio station giving away free divorce

Happy Valentine’s Day From The Storm Worm

Don’t let stale chocolates leave a bad taste in your valentine’s mouth

Apparently some of those Valentine’s Day treats have been sitting on the shelves past their use-by date.  Kinda ironic, when you think about it…

And finally, some random entires from this Fark.Com finish the sentence contest:  I knew this was going to be the worst first date ever when…

she brought out those beancans and started cutting up that squirrel.

He brought a can of corn along on the date.

he asked to meet me in the Winn Dixie parking lot.  

…he squealed the tires pulling out of my mother’s driveway, then told me he had problems telling left from right because he’d smashed one too many

When I realized that every time he smiled he looked like George W. Bush.

when he told me how much he still loved his ex-girlfriend.

He showed up at the restaurant with plastic cutlery and said one can never be too careful when it comes to germs.

he told me "masturbation was getting kinda old"

When I kissed him and couldn’t get the taste of butter out of my mouth for a week.

My date brought me a hot cocoa sampler pack instead of flowers.

The second sentence she says to me, and I quote: "The way [blank] described you, I thought you would be hotter."

I got my ass handed to me in Star Wars Trivial Pursuit.

she wanted to cuddle afterwards.

Goodbye Valentine’s Day 2008.  It was…swell.  Let’s do it again sometime…okay? 

 

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