No offense to the wonderful Disney cast members who work at Biergarten…or even the idiot who told me once that sex is like farting…I love Biergarten…love the atmosphere, the Oktoberfest seating that allows me to have lovely chats with other Disney people from all over…love the band, even though by now I know their routine by heart…But…

Every friggin’ time I eat there I feel an urgent need afterwards to go find a real German restaurant and get real German food. Sweet jasus the schnitzel was horrible last night! And they never get it right. Never. But last night the schnitzel managed to excel at horribility. And they got the brats wrong too. Much too dry and gritty…like they were mostly meat filler. And the red cabbage was limp and watery and tasteless.

I asked classmate once what their chef was most proud of. He replied: “His car.” Figures. Don’t you have any Germans working there??