What Google Thinks You Look Like
Scott Eric Kaufman writes:
Acephalous: Google’s Images, Searched for Me: A reader who attended a function I’d planned to (but, due to illness, could not) attend suggested I spend a few minutes skimming the results of a Google Image Search for my name. (He wanted to be sure he could spot me in the crowd.) Intrigued, I took him up on his offer. The results are … interesting. A search for my full name, bookended by quotation marks, returns: a photo of Eric Lott on the beach; Scott McLemee’s Simpson’s self; some books McLemee bought for Kotsko in Canada a few years in; the header of the Iranian Supreme Leader’s blog…. Chard Orzel; Salma Hayek; an angry duck; Salma Hayek; Brad DeLong; Salma Hayek… Salma Hayek… Salma Hayek…. Something must’ve gone horribly wrong with Google. I don’t even like Salma Hayek, much less—what do you mean "Page Rank"? This post will do what? Seriously?…
At least it is not Friedrich Hayek.
And "Chard" Orzel?
I’d never tried that before so I just now gave it a shot. What I got was, like Kaufman says…Interesting… There were a few of my photos and a few of my cartoons, including a sketch that if I was more shameless then I am I could say was me, but it isn’t. And there were quite a few photos of all the other Bruce Garrett’s lurking around the net. But not a single one of me. That’s not because I haven’t put up photos of myself here; I have. Somehow Google hasn’t managed to index them to my name. On the other hand, look up Peterson Toscano on Google Images and you’ll find plenty of photos of the guy. Morgan Jon Fox shows up (along with a photo of John McCain…I’m not exactly sure why…). Americans For Truth has a photo of Russell Groff standing in for Jim Burroway (the image file is even named russell_groff.jpg…I guess Americans For Truth can’t read…which may help explain the paucity of truth forthcoming from Americans For Truth…). Look up Bruce Garrett on google images however, and you get "Bruce Garrett has a new Dodge". No, no… Bruce Garrett has a very nice new Mercedes Benz thank you…
I’ve put photos of myself up here lots of times. Now I’m wondering how Google has them indexed. I can’t even find this one, which is my current favorite…
Maybe it’s in there under "longhair with half-frames and turquoise holding a wire". Or perhaps, "knotty pine paneling" and "wall-to-wall burgundy carpeting". I guess I need to put up more photos of myself here, and then hopefully Google will index them correctly with my name so people who are planning to meet me at functions can see what I actually look like and hopefully won’t be expecting me to show up driving a Dodge pickup truck loaded with Pickup Guy Accessories, and festooned with Dallas Cowboys graphics.
Okay…here’s my MySpace photo. Friend me.
