I just got my first Valentine’s Day spam from FTD.   Maybe they finally figured out trying to sell me Mother’s Day flowers every year since mom died isn’t getting them much business.   Problem is, reminding me I’ll be single for yet another Valentine’s Day isn’t helping adjust my attitude toward them any either…

Subject:   Save 25% and Send a Big Hug to Someone You Love

Why…yes.   I would absolutely love to send a great Big Hug to Someone I Love.   Alas, the few Someones in my life who fit that category of Someone I Would Love To Send A Great Big Hug To are all happily coupled…er…to other people.   So I really don’t think I should be sending flowers to any of them.

Save 25%. Send Someone You Love a Big Hug! The FTD ® Big Hug ® Bouquet. Now Only $29.99. Same day delivery available. Offer ends Saturday.

The Most Romantic Day is Near! Place Your Valentine’s Day Order Now and Save Up To 20%.

Yes, The Most Romantic Day Is Near.   Thanks for reminding me.   Bastards.

The Lonely Rose by Demonmiss27

…and I’ll get your idiot spam on Mother’s Day again this year too won’t I?

But I won’t mope around the house.   No.   I’m going to get right to work on This Years Valentine’s Day Poster Contest!   It’ll be Fun!

The folks over at SLOG are making me wish I was in Seattle for Valentine’s Day this year…

The Stranger’s 12th Annual Valentines Day Bash

Every year on Valentine’s Day the Stranger hosts a very special event for the heartbroken, the recently dumped, the bitterly divorced. Single people bring mementos of failed relationships to our Valentine’s Day Bash and we invite them up on to the stage, we listen to their sad stories, we boo their awful exes, and then we destroy their mementos live onstage in front of a cheering crowd. Over the last 12 years we’ve burned wedding photos, weve smashed engagement rings to smithereens, shattered sex toys after dipping them in liquid nitrogen, had gay boys beat off on the favorite t-shirts of homophobic ex-boyfriends, and taped pictures inside urinals and broadcast live, streaming video of live, streaming urine running down the faces of lying, cheating, scheming, heartless ex-girlfriends.

The Bash is coming up fast—did you know that Valentine’s Day is on February 14 this year?—and you could consider this your save-the-date notice if you weren’t, you know, GOING TO BE ALONE ON VALENTINE’S DAY, seeing as you don’t have a date to save the date for BECAUSE YOU JUST GOT DUMPED. So instead consider this your personal invitation to start looking around for a memento to bring to the Bash. We don’t want to get all woo-woo about this, but we’ve heard from past Bash participants that they were truly moved by the experience and it did, on some level, help ’em heal. And, hey, if you’re single on Valentine’s Day, what better place to be than a room full of drunk, single people on the serious rebound?

Wonder if I can get something like this going here in Baltimore.   Somehow Baltimore seems like a more perfect place for it then Seattle.   But maybe all that rain they get in the Pacific Northwest makes them all gloomy up there.   I could show them gloomy here in Baltimore.   Maybe instead of random stuff I find out on the web, this year’s poster contest will be my own Baltimore photos.