{"id":6096,"date":"2012-08-07T11:13:05","date_gmt":"2012-08-07T16:13:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/?p=6096"},"modified":"2014-10-28T15:55:51","modified_gmt":"2014-10-28T20:55:51","slug":"no-not-goodbye-dad-a-dad-loves-his-son","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/6096","title":{"rendered":"No…Not “Goodbye Dad.”   A Dad Loves His Son.   You Are Not A Dad."},"content":{"rendered":"

This is making the rounds on Facebook and over at Truth Wins Out<\/a>…<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

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My own Dad ended his life badly, by way of robbing banks. \u00a0 I’ve said before that if I had to choose between being raised by him and being raised by any of these self styled godly men, I would unhesitatingly choose to be raised by the honest crook.<\/p>\n

Strangers can gay bash you, they can take your life from you, but only family can chew your heart up and spit it out. But consider not only the man who wrote this. Take a moment to wonder about the person, most likely but not necessarily someone who gets up behind a pulpit every Sunday, who taught this man to hate his own son so terribly much. <\/p>\n

Put aside for a moment if you can, your feelings toward this man. Think about the kind of person who teaches parents to hate their children and considers it righteous. Think about the kind of person who does it as a campaign strategy and considers it patriotic. What do you say to someone like that when they tell you about their deeply held moral values?<\/p>\n

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[Update…<\/em>] Via Towleroad, the son who got this letter says<\/a>…<\/p>\n

It’s important to know just what this zealotry from Bryan Fisher, Maggie Gallagher, Dan Cathy, et al., does to everyday people. I’ve never done drugs, was an excellent student, an obedient child (far less trouble than many of my classmates), didn’t drink until I was 22 because it terrified me, and have had just 1 speeding ticket in my life. Yet I am still seemingly deserving of this terrible act of hate and cowardice that one person can place on another. 5 years on and I am still doing fine, though this letter saunters into my mind every once in a while. When it does, I say without hesitation: F**k you, Dad.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

There was a poem I read many years ago…I just tried to Google it and couldn’t…I think it was about a PFLAG mother attending a gay pride march with her son, seeing all the other lost children standing on the sidelines, watching the march go past, and upon seeing her their faces light up with a painful joy at the sight of a parent proud enough of their gay child to walk with them publicly. But behind that joy she saw also a hopeless longing. Would you be my mother…?<\/em> So many lost children she sees as she walks with her own son, and she could not take them all in. It isn’t just the children who have to be carefully taught to hate, it’s the parents too. When the likes of Bryan Fischer, Maggie Gallaher, Dan Cathy, et al., speak of family values, laugh in their face.<\/p>\n

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[Update…<\/em>] Fixed the Towleroad link.<\/p>\n

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[Update…<\/em>] In the comments, Alsafi found the poem I was referring to, Here<\/a>. Amazing how it stuck with me so long, even after I’d forgotten nearly all of its words. Which I guess just goes to show that words are just the stepping stones a poem takes you somewhere on. It’s the somewhere that’s the thing, the imagery it conjures up, not the words.<\/p>\n

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[Update…<\/em>] The link the reader sent me is broken now. Luckily the Wayback Machine is there to help. Whoever it was that wrote this…thank you…it is pure gold<\/p>\n

   <\/p>\n

\nSan Diego Pride Parade – July 18, 1992 – author unknown<\/p>\n

There were hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of them
\nand only a handful of us.
\nThe screamed and they shrieked and they cheered as we passed
\nyelling, “Thank you. It’s great that you care!”<\/p>\n

Loudest of all and clearest of all
\nwere the screams that emerged from the eyes
\nof the hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of them
\nwho watched as we marched down the street.<\/p>\n

I carried a sign that stated most clear
\nmy love for my son who is gay.<\/p>\n

She stared at my sign
\npiercing my heart
\nwith her pain.
\nI left the parade and moved to her side.
\nI held her in both of my arms.
\nHer sobs were intense and I tightened my grip
\nas she whispered her secret to me.<\/p>\n

“My mom has disowned me since she found out.
\nShe says I’m not right in the head.
\nShe says that I’m weird
\nthat I’m one to be feared
\nthat I’ve caused her to suffer such pain.
\nDo you think that you could
\nDo you think that you might
\nJust be my mom for today?”<\/p>\n

There were hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of them
\nlooking for parents they’d lost.<\/p>\n

There were hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of them.
\nBut only a handful of us.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This is making the rounds on Facebook and over at Truth Wins Out…     My own Dad ended his life badly, by way of robbing banks. \u00a0 I’ve said before that if I had to choose between being raised by him and being raised by any of these self styled godly men, I would […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,65],"tags":[32,21,90],"class_list":["post-6096","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life","category-thumping-my-pulpit","tag-hate","tag-the-abyss","tag-the-human-gutter"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6096","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6096"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6096\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6096"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6096"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6096"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}