{"id":3578,"date":"2009-04-17T12:41:37","date_gmt":"2009-04-17T17:41:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/?p=3578"},"modified":"2009-04-17T13:51:14","modified_gmt":"2009-04-17T18:51:14","slug":"personally-i-think-grown-men-who-still-wear-bow-ties-are-pretty-pathetic","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/3578","title":{"rendered":"Personally, I Think Grown Men Who Still Wear Bow-Ties Are Pretty Pathetic…"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’ll endure George Will’s half-assed There Is No Such Thing As Global Warming claptrap…but by god not this…<\/p>\n

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Denim is the clerical vestment for the priesthood of all believers in democracy’s catechism of leveling — thou shalt not dress better than society’s most slovenly. To do so would be to commit the sin of lookism — of believing that appearance matters. That heresy leads to denying the universal appropriateness of everything, and then to the elitist assertion that there is good and bad taste.<\/p>\n

Denim is the carefully calculated costume of people eager to communicate indifference to appearances.\n<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Sure George…whatever…<\/p>\n

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I can’t think of a better reason for the existence of blue jeans then human skin.  Snuggled up there at the hips, that little gap between denim and flesh is just so damn lovely you can’t look away.  Or at least I can’t.  Polyester just doesn’t cut it.  Neither do dockers.  Blue jeans are that perfect marriage of form and function, utility and art, durable and almost unbearably sexy.  Low class is a mindset, not what you wear.  There are a lot of low class assholes in this world, wearing very expensive clothes made from rare and expensive fabrics that can’t hide the asshole that face and body language give away.\n<\/p>\n

I have a couple-dozen or so jeans in my closet, each with their own personality if you will.  Patterns of wear and fading…slight differences in fit…dark blue, black, low risers, boot and straight leg…they each require careful consideration.  Do I wear the light stone washed 527s I bought last July, or that pair of nicely faded 501’s that’s almost a year old now, but fits perfectly in all the right places?  Or maybe the new pair that looks really sharp with the red SM-4 Mission shirt I got last September?  Decisions…decisions. \n<\/p>\n

I like how guys look in jeans.  I like how I look in them.  And let it be said, they keep me in line.  They are my motivation to stay in shape…or as much shape as a nerdy fifty-something IT worker can stay.  As I get older it gets harder to keep my waistline in control.  But swear to God I’ll eat birdseed for the rest of my life if that’s what it takes to wear my blue jeans and they fit right and I’m not not looking like…well…like this sad example of malehood they found over at Fark.Com…\n<\/p>\n

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Denim is what people who don’t care about what they look like wear.  Yellow saggy polyester pants and a shirt that telegraphs to the whole goddamned world that lazy ass self indulgence isn’t just for welfare state liberals…that’s okay.  Mature.  Sensible.  Ugh.  Just…ugh.  I’ll endure lectures on what a well dressed male looks like from a lot of people…but not you bow-tie boy…\n<\/p>\n

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[Edited a tad…]<\/em><\/p>\n

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I’ll endure George Will’s half-assed There Is No Such Thing As Global Warming claptrap…but by god not this… Denim is the clerical vestment for the priesthood of all believers in democracy’s catechism of leveling — thou shalt not dress better than society’s most slovenly. To do so would be to commit the sin of lookism […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[56,7],"tags":[19],"class_list":["post-3578","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-art","category-life","tag-the-jackass-chronicles"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3578","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3578"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3578\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3578"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3578"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3578"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}