{"id":12496,"date":"2023-09-13T22:26:49","date_gmt":"2023-09-14T03:26:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/?p=12496"},"modified":"2023-09-13T22:26:49","modified_gmt":"2023-09-14T03:26:49","slug":"my-demons-let-me-show-you-my-cartoons-about-them","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/12496","title":{"rendered":"My Demons…Let Me Show You My Cartoons About Them…"},"content":{"rendered":"

Reposted and updated for my 70th (yesterday)…<\/p>\n

This is a script I had for a one-off cartoon was going to do when I turned 60. I did a little pencil sketching on it then dropped it. I’m 70 now and still haven’t finished this one, or dozens of others let alone A Coming Out Story…<\/p>\n

It riffs off a running gag in Tim Barela\u2019s wonderful gay comic strip Leonard and Larry<\/em>, which he described once as a kind of gay Our Miss Brooks. Every tenth year Larry had a birthday all his anxieties about getting old surfaced in a dream that he was having his birthday party while laying in a coffin with a birthday cake on it and his friends making catty jokes about his getting old. Picasso said a mediocre artist copies and a great artist steals. So I stole the idea (with proper acknowledgement). But the only thing I managed to finish was the script. Probably for the best\u2026<\/p>\n

Here it is, updated to the 70th birthday. As Joe Friday and my own Sergeant Stoneface<\/a> would say, The names have been changed to protect the innocent. And especially the not so innocent!<\/p>\n

The Big Seven-O!<\/strong>
\n(Slightly Anonymized)<\/p>\n

SCENE: My birthday party. a\u2019La Leonard & Larry, I\u2019m in a casket with the lid open and a birthday cake on the bottom half lid that reads Happy 70th. Surrounding me are my three loves. We shall call them CRUSH1, CRUSH2 and CRUSH3.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

PANEL 1: (Most of the following panels are as above.)<\/p>\n

ME: I really appreciate the party you guys, and this coffin\u2019s a swell gag, but I have to admit the margarita embalming fluid bottles was a brilliant touch.<\/p>\n

CRUSH2: I liked the aspirin bottles labeled \u201cFor Headaches Due To Lovestruck Bruce\u201d.<\/p>\n

CRUSH3: That was 1\u2019s idea.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

PANEL 2:<\/p>\n

ME: (off panel) Ha, ha\u2026 Yes, very funny\u2026<\/p>\n

CRUSH1: (to the others) Drove me crazy back in high school watching him try to work up the nerve to tell me he had a crush on me.<\/p>\n

CRUSH2: (rolling his eyes) I had to deal with Overly Attached Gayfriend.<\/p>\n

CRUSH3: Tell me about it. He actually thought we were boyfriends just because I let him sleep with me a few times.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

PANEL 3: Closeup on Crush2 and Crush3<\/p>\n

CRUSH2: Sparks didn\u2019t fly eh?<\/p>\n

CRUSH3: (Looking morosely down at his drink) Let\u2019s just say I went Ex-Gay for six years.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

PANEL 4: Closeup on me and Crush1<\/p>\n

CRUSH1: (Smiling, gesturing to me while looking at the others off panel) Quick, tell NARTH! We\u2019ve found the cure for homosexuality!<\/p>\n

ME: (Frowning) Ha, Ha. Very Funny.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

PANEL 5:<\/p>\n

ME: Can I get out now?<\/p>\n

CRUSH1: Not on your life. We\u2019re selling you off as a collector\u2019s item.<\/p>\n

CRUSH2: (gesturing to the ages) The gay man that never had a boyfriend. Too young to be liberated in 1971, too old to marry anyone in 2023.<\/p>\n

CRUSH3: You\u2019re a museum piece.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

PANEL 6:<\/p>\n

ME: You sold me to a museum?<\/p>\n

CRUSH2: Museum? Are you kidding? We sold you to Disney World.<\/p>\n

CRUSH3: You\u2019re going to be a prop in the Haunted Mansion queue.<\/p>\n

CRUSH1: I\u2019ll stop by every now and then before my shift to dust you off.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

PANEL 7:<\/p>\n

ME: I\u2019m dreaming all this aren\u2019t I? This is all about my anxieties over getting old isn\u2019t it\u2026and you guys are here representing the three chances for love Vonnegut spoke of\u2026<\/p>\n

CRUSH1: We prefer to think of ourselves as your three strikes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

PANEL 8:<\/p>\n

ME: This is going to turn into a nightmare now isn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n

CRUSH1: You\u2019re not asleep dear, you\u2019re hallucinating.<\/p>\n

CRUSH2: You drank half that bottle of tequila all by yourself and when you sober up again you\u2019re going to feel like you\u2019re 170.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Reposted and updated for my 70th (yesterday)… This is a script I had for a one-off cartoon was going to do when I turned 60. I did a little pencil sketching on it then dropped it. I’m 70 now and still haven’t finished this one, or dozens of others let alone A Coming Out Story… […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[308,157],"class_list":["post-12496","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life","tag-cupid-is-a-bastard","tag-the-old-man-chronicles"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12496","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12496"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12496\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12496"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12496"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12496"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}