{"id":1084,"date":"2007-12-22T20:07:06","date_gmt":"2007-12-23T01:07:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/1084"},"modified":"2007-12-22T21:17:19","modified_gmt":"2007-12-23T02:17:19","slug":"how-to-make-your-ex-bleed-in-one-easy-step","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/1084","title":{"rendered":"How To Make Your Ex Bleed In One Easy Step&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>You want to make someone you dumped bleed?&nbsp; I mean, really, really bleed?&nbsp; I mean, <em>Profusely<\/em>&#8230;?&nbsp; Here&#8217;s my little tip:&nbsp; Don&#8217;t tell him about all the great sex you&#8217;re having now that he&#8217;s out of your life.&nbsp; Don&#8217;t bother telling him that your new boyfriend is so much better in the sack then he&#8217;ll ever be in his wildest wet dream fantasies.&nbsp; Don&#8217;t tell him how much your new boyfriend understands you so much better then he ever did.&nbsp; That&#8217;s amateur stuff.&nbsp; Really.&nbsp; You want to give him a hurt he&#8217;ll take to his grave, and hopefully sooner rather then later, just mention in passing some small bit of domesticity that you and your new main squeeze are currently enjoying&#8230;<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><strong>Me:<\/strong>&nbsp; So I&#8217;ll probably be in town in an hour or so&#8230;you want to go grab a bite to eat somewhere after I get settled in&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><strong>He:<\/strong>&nbsp; Um&#8230;well actually (XXX) and I are about to go grocery shopping in a bit&#8230;&nbsp; Why don&#8217;t you call when you get in.&nbsp; If you want&#8230;there&#8217;s some good British comedy shows on TV later tonight you can watch at the hotel. &nbsp;<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>STAB!&nbsp; SLASHHHHH!&nbsp; Bleed!<\/p>\n<p>BleedBleedBleedBleedBleedBleedBleedBleedBleedBleedBleedBleedBleedBleedBleed&#8230;.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><strong>Me:<\/strong>&nbsp; Err&#8230;yeah&#8230;<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>And, so on.&nbsp; If there wasn&#8217;t at least one major heart wound it wouldn&#8217;t be Christmas&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You want to make someone you dumped bleed?&nbsp; I mean, really, really bleed?&nbsp; I mean, Profusely&#8230;?&nbsp; Here&#8217;s my little tip:&nbsp; Don&#8217;t tell him about all the great sex you&#8217;re having now that he&#8217;s out of your life.&nbsp; Don&#8217;t bother telling him that your new boyfriend is so much better in the sack then he&#8217;ll ever [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[77],"class_list":["post-1084","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-the-dumpsville-chronicles"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1084","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1084"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1084\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1084"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1084"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brucegarrett.com\/brucelog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1084"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}