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July 15th, 2009

The Wrong Lederhosen

I have this quirky sense of humor that (I think) alternately charms and appalls my friends.  The problem with being a nerd is you never quite know for sure when you’ve taken it too far until your friends are giving you that Oh Do Grow Up look again.  There is some subtle social sensibility you are missing, which prevents you from stumbling across the line from smart and funny into dumb and annoying. 

I have to admit…I was tempted when I saw This.  Oh…very tempted…

Novelty Bavarian Lederhosen With Yodeling Frankfurter Controls: Hurry!

 

Each 6-inch tall plastic pair of Bavarian Remote Control Lederhosen is activated by an infrared remote control knockwurst.  Press the button and the self propelled Lederhosen hops around and sings a merry yodel.

 

You can have your very own Bavarian Remote Control Lederhosen for $19.49.  Requires two AAA batteries.  Knockwurst remote control operates your Lederhosen to within 10 feet.

 

He’d probably never speak to me again…

 

by Bruce | Link | React!

July 2nd, 2009

From No Macs In My Life To A 100 Percent Apple Household In Just Five Years…

[Geek Alert…]

My life with computers started with a Coleco Adam, and was not auspicious.  It was 1983, back when consumer home computers had just started to appear on the store shelves, not just the back page advertisements of the hobbyist magazines.  Apple, Atari, Commodore, Texas Instruments, Radio Shack and Heathkit all had one you could buy, most still horribly expensive.  They had only text based user interfaces, and if they had graphics capabilities at all, they were very crude and slow.

Initially I saw little use for them, but I had a ColecoVision game console I played constantly and one day Coleco announced it was coming out with a home computer that would do it all, and play the same ColecoVision cartridges.  A Commodore C64 could be had for around the same price, but I already had a big investment in ColecoVision game cartridges.  Plus, the Adam came bundled with its own printer: a really nice (in theory) daisy wheel printer which would make good letter quality output, as opposed to most of the consumer dot matrix printers of the day.   My typewriter skills were tragic.  Worse, though I had a huge vocabulary for my age (due to being such a bookworm), I reliably failed to correctly spell a lot of it.  When I saw a word processor demo…I think it was on an Atari…and discovered I could compose words on a computer screen…backspace, erase, correct, rearrange all of it before printing out a single page of paper…I was floored.  Then I saw it spell check.  That did it.  I had to have one.

But like thousands of others I had to return my Adam the day after I bought it because it was defective.  Not a good beginning to my entry into the world of computers.  But because of all the hype from Coleco about what the Adam could do, I turned around and with the refund bought a Commodore C64.  And my love of computers took wing almost immediately.  In retrospect, it was probably a given that I’d get my hands on a computer eventually.  I was always a little techno nerd, and had built my first Heathkit radio when I was a fifth grader (my teacher at the time refused to believe I’d built that radio myself when I brought it to show and tell and insisted I’d had help, which made me furious…).  Computers and I were going to get a thing going eventually.  We just were.

So now I had my first…well…second one.  There was a kit you could buy for the Commodore that let you decode teletype traffic.  It included a software cartridge and a box that converted the signals from the radio to something that could be fed into the Commodore’s serial port.  I’d been hooked on shortwave radio since I discovered at eight or nine that I could listen to broadcasts from around the world on mom’s old one.  So that kit was high on my list of things I wanted to try out.  As soon as I got the Commodore home I ordered up one and when it came I connected it the really nice ICOM shortwave receiver I’d bought a few years previously with some inheritance money.  Finally I could listen in on some of those mysterious beeping-clicking-chirping sounds I kept hearing on certain frequencies. 

As I look back, this was oddly enough the real beginning for me.  From my studies of radio I was already familiar with the concept of bandwidth…a thing the expensive ICOM receiver was able to adjust to better capture a signal.  But with the RTTY converter kit I started becoming familiar with the basic concepts of electronic communication systems…how to work the serial port…bits, words, baud rate, and eventually also packets and protocols, concepts that would later be useful in understanding computer networking.

But the Commodore had one other thing that intrigued me.  When you started it up without a software cartridge in it, the initial screen you got was its Basic interpreter.  I began playing with that and right away the discovery that I could make the computer do stuff by feeding it instructions in Basic became an absorbing curiosity. 

I could make it display words and shapes and colors on the screen…move them around and…ohmygosh, calculate the answers to complex math problems!  Sweet!  Algebra was my downfall in grade school, so this last really got my attention.  With one of these things I could solve problems I simply could not cope with.  Or so I thought.  How I wish back then that someone had told me that algebra was just another kind of symbolic logic, because I actually did have a head for solving logic problems.  I was doing it right there on the Commodore, every time I wrote a simple Basic program, although I didn’t realize it then.

I still needed a word processor.    I checked around and found a program called PaperClip that ran on the Commodore.  It did it all on that little machine.  But it required one of the Commodore disk drives to run it.  Which made sense.  Even if they’d sold it on a cartridge, which a lot of software for the Commodore came on in those days, you still needed a place to store your written text while you were working on it.  So I got the money together somehow and bought one.  I quickly discovered I could store my Basic programs on that drive too.  Good.  Now I didn’t have to key my programs in every time I wanted to run them.  Now I could write big ones, that did more things.  This was when I really started learning how to compose software code, and test and debug it.

As time went on I began to bump into the limits of my Commodore’s horsepower.  IBM came out with its PC and some friends of mine had one in their household.  The thing awed me whenever I came to visit.  Then I learned that some enterprising folks were selling parts you could put together to make one of your own.  I’d been building Heathkit electronic gizmos for years, so the notion I could build my own IBM-PC from parts immediately took wing in me and I ran with it.  When the next county HAM Fest came along I went with a list of parts and came home with the makings of the computer that would change my life. 

And I knew after I had it together and working that something big had happened.  I can still remember vividly sitting on the edge of my bed, just staring at it, amazed.  It had a 16 bit microprocessor.  It had 1 megabyte of ram, 648k available for user program space.  I’d installed two double sided 5 1/4 inch Teac floppy drives, the best most reliable drives made, that could each hold a whopping 360k of data.  I’d bought a Hercules Graphics card, one of the most powerful and sharpest monochrome cards made.  And I’d installed a 2 megabyte expanded memory card, from which I could create a 2 megabyte ram disk.  This was serious business.  And so it was.  That computer, and what I learned to do with it, eventually got me my first job as a programmer.  Which led me, eventually to my first apartment of my own, then to a new car, and then to my first house, and to working on the Hubble Space Telescope.  Wish I’d held onto it now, but you only see these things clearly in retrospect.

Had IBM not started to immediately lock down the PC platform I’d have been more grateful to them.  But my love turned mostly toward Microsoft.  They’d developed the operating system the PC ran on.  But more importantly to me and my new career, they’d developed and extended the Microsoft dialect of the Basic programming language I’d begun to earn a really nice living with.  And their professional developer’s tools were easily affordable, compared to the stuff the big computer companies sold. Even after IBM entered the microcomputer market they still didn’t get what it was about.  One story I heard was that while IBM was hawking it’s new OS/2 operating system at tech conferences, they’d sell you the driver development kit for about ten grand if you asked.  That was pretty typical pricing for software from the big iron crowd.  Microsoft on the other hand, working its competing NT operating system, would sell you their driver development kit for fifty bucks…but if you gave them a nice song and dance at the conference about the really cool thing you were working on, they’d just give it to you for free. 

That was then.  In those days I viewed Microsoft with something like revolutionary ardor.   They had taken on the big establishment corporate behemoth IBM and won.  They had brought the power of the computer out of the big corporate data centers and into the hands of the people.  They had made tools available to everyone, at prices most of us could afford, to create software that ran rings around anything the big iron mainframes could do, other then by raw horsepower.  I can still remember demonstrating my DOS Basic IDE to several Baltimore Gas and Electric mainframe programmers, how their jaws simply dropped when I showed them that I could run and debug my program right there in the editor, and how the editor would even check my syntax for me as I typed.  This was back in 1993 and these were simple DOS programs, but they danced rings around what anyone was doing on the mainframe.

Microsoft practically gave me my career as a software developer, and all the perks that came with it: a good income, a place of my own to live in, and a new car.  Just a few years before I’d been living in a room in a friend’s basement, mowing lawns and doing Manpower jobs to make ends meet.  I’d had to scrounge up a junker car from a friend to travel to Baltimore for my first job as a programmer.  Now I had a new car, and my first apartment that was all my own, and enough money at the end of the week to think of buying things like…well…like a better computer.  I soon graduated from that first IBM PC compatible I’d built to other more powerful ones.  But I always kept building my own.  That way, I could get exactly the hardware I wanted in it.

Which was so unlike the other kid on the block back then…Apple.  Apple computers were there right from the beginning of the personal computer revolution.  The Apple II was the first consumer PC that came complete in the case with a keyboard.  It was the Visicalc spreadsheet, mated to that early Apple II computer, that brought the PC into the workplace, and made IBM finally take notice of the market for those little "toy" computers.  But the Apple was hugely expensive and even then, was its own world.  Especially after struggling with all the non-standard ports and software quirks of the Commodore (even it’s character set wasn’t standard ACSII…) I wanted nothing more to do with closed systems.  At the time I thought Microsoft didn’t either.  At the time I thought Microsoft was all about the freedom the personal computer brought down from the corporate heights to everyone.  Go ahead…laugh at me.  I can laugh too.  Now.

Time passes…the universe expands…  I got the job of my dreams at Space Telescope, largely for the skills I’d developed writing business applications in Microsoft Visual Basic.  But by then I’d become massively disillusioned by Microsoft’s highly predatory nature.  Bill it turned out, wasn’t a revolutionary after all.  He was just another robber baron, willing to betray every ideal of the personal computer revolution for power and money.  Software was just a means to an end.  He’d realized that the future world would be driven by software, and he wanted to be the John D. Rockefeller of software.  By comparison, Steve Job’s little Cult of Macintosh didn’t seem so egregious, although I still didn’t want any part of it. 

I gravitated to Linux and the Open Source movement.  At work, most of the systems were Unix based, so learning to run and maintain Linux at home helped me greatly with my working skill set.  I eventually took on the task of maintaining the Linux test center for our engineering branch.  I tested and ran various Linux distributions at home too, in the hope that I could wean myself off of Microsoft systems.  By that time, two things had permanently soured my relationship to Microsoft.  First, they’d trashed their Basic development platform, replacing it with a pathetic .NET bastardization.  Second, they’d implemented software branding in the OS, which made it nearly impossible for me to experiment with building new hardware at Casa del Garrett.  But as time went on, and my responsibilities at work grew, I needed more and more to have computers around me that didn’t have to spend a lot of time fixing and tweaking and fiddling with and Linux is a lot of things but not that.  And in my personal private world the story was much the same. 

The computer had entered parts of my life I’d never dreamed of.  My photography hobby was now thoroughly tied to the computer, as were the cartoons I was now putting up on my web site.  I was starting to get really, really tired of how often my Microsoft workstation at home, or the Linux ones, were blowing up on me because some software update had broken everything right as I was trying to get some work done.  And now the hardware for them seemed to also be going down in quality.  I was always having to rebuild a machine because some part of it had failed.  My closet was full of computer parts now, that I was relying on more and more to be able to swap around until I got something fixed.

At work, the Macintosh was gaining more and more ground, largely because the Mac OS then was based on a Unix kernel.  In 2004 I bought my first one, a 12" PowerBook G4 laptop, to take with me on a trip to a software developer’s conference.  I bought it mostly to explore the Mac OS for the first time, and to familiarize myself with it enough that I could be useful to the Mac users at work, and to the Mac users in our external user community. 

Macs had by then evolved greatly since that first Macintosh came out in 1984.  The operating system as I said, was now based on a Unix kernel and was now truly preemptively multi-tasking and powerful.  There was an actual terminal window in the Mac now…a thing that had once been considered heresy…so now a developer or a power user could get inside of the file system and the OS and dig around a bit.  This was something that previous Macs had been determined to keep you out of.  And Macs lived in much better harmony with third party hardware now.  They even worked with two-button mice!  And though the Mac was still a highly closed ecology, let it be said that Microsoft, by way of stabbing so many of its software and hardware partners in the back, was working mightily it seemed to shrink its own ecology.  How many viable commercial non-Microsoft word processors are still in production for Windows?  How many alternative compilers and software development platforms?  At least Apple’s ecology worked.

And that was the thing.  That little Mac laptop I bought was a pure pleasure to use on that first trip, and on every trip thereafter, business or vacation. It took a little while to get use to the Macintosh way of doing some things, particularly and annoyingly regarding the keyboard mapping inside of text editors.  But it got to the point where I simply took for granted that the Mac would work when I started it up, and that the software updates wouldn’t break it.  That was a new experience for me. 

So much so that a year later I bought a second one, and dedicated it to the art room.  Macs had always held on to their reputation in the arts and publishing businesses and I felt the Power Mac G5 I’d bought would fit perfectly into my art room workflow.   And so it did, becoming both a darkroom and a virtual drawing board.  I still develop my own black and white film, still do most of my artwork with the traditional tools on my drafting table.  But I don’t bother with silver prints anymore, I just scan in the negatives and go to work in the computer.  The results are so much better, and there is no mess to clean up afterward.   And now I also do a lot of post production work on my cartoons in the Mac after scanning them into Photoshop.  It’s mostly just touching up things here and there, and the lettering, which my hand was never good at.  And once they’re in the computer, I can publish them on my web site, for the world to see.  Having a worldwide audience for my cartoons was something I could only dream about once upon a time.  Now, thanks to the computer, it is a reality.

Those two household Macs, Akela (the laptop) and Bagheera (the G5 tower) have become staples of the household network.  So rock solidly reliable that over the years I have come to take them for granted.  They just work.  I don’t sweat the software updates.  I don’t sweat the hardware upgrades on the G5.  There is something to be said after all, for control-freaking the hardware and the software ecology.  Users chaff at Apple’s tight control…I still do…often.  Yet, it all just works.  Time and again when Mowgli, my Intel Windows/Linux box would break down for some reason, either a hardware or software failure, I would have to attach its data drive to one of the Macs so I could keep working.  The Macs have never given me any problems.  I can rely on them. 

So now I had two Macs that I came to utterly rely on.  Then came the iPod.  Years previously I’d bought a second generation Sony Walkman and then later a Walkman CD player.  When I saw that I could put almost my whole CD collection on an iPod, and carry hours and hours of music with me wherever I went, I had to have one. Naturally when I got it home I mated it to one of the Macs instead of the Windows box.  It all just seamlessly worked together.

Then along came the iPhone.  Once I carried around a Palm Pilot to help me manage my calendar and other personal information.  Then when the Kyocera smart phone came out I could combine phone and PIM and then I had my contact information with my cell phone where it made some sense for it to be.  I began to hope the someone would intergrate an mp3 player with a cell phone/PIM.  But the first few tries I saw were less then wonderful.  The Kyocera could play music, but it didn’t do it well, didn’t hold much, and the interface was cumbersome.  The I saw my first iPhone.  Cell phone… PIM… iPod… eMail… Web Browser… Road Atlas… Video player… Application Platform…  Computer…  In the blink of an eye that little touch pad device swept away everything I ever thought about what a smart phone could be. 

You see where this is going, right?  The computer had become an integral part of my life.  Probably yours too, and probably you take that for granted.  But for nearly half my life computers were something only big corporations had the money, let alone the room for.  So I have witnessed some amazing changes in how computers are used, and I am still taken aback sometimes at how ubiquitous they’ve become, and how radically they’ve changed the way we live.  Listen to music…on a telephone…?  Why the hell would I want to do that?   Now most of my time is spent using computers in one form or another.  And at home, whether it’s working on some photographs on Bagheera, or listening to the iPod while doing household chores…most of the time I’m running something made by Apple. 

It was insidious.  I had no plans whatsoever to join the cult of Steve Jobs.  I wanted nothing to do with it actually.  He got me anyway.  By making a better computer.  And then by doing what was never in Bill Gates to do: make them liberating. 

People smirk at Job’s relentless focus on making his products "cool".  But it forces him to think outside the box.  Bill just wants to put the world into his box.  The difference really shows not on the desktop, but all the places nobody in their wildest dreams would have thought back in the 1970s to put a computer in.  That IBM executive who once wondered why the hell anyone would want to use a computer to write a memo…I wonder what he would have thought to hear someone say that one day they’d be putting computers into telephones. 

Bill had Windows on cell phones long before Steve got MacOS on them.  But when Bill brought out Windows Mobile he was about putting Windows into cellphones and adding cellular technology to his items of world conquest.  See…you can even open a Word document in one and read it…You can read Outlook Mail…share your calendar with other Microsoft Exchange users…  It was Windows on a cellphone.  When Steve brought out the iPhone he was about reinventing the telephone.  There’s the difference between Bill and Steve.  Yes, MacOS is at the heart of the iPhone.  But the iPhone is not about MacOS.  The iPhone is about what you can do with the technology now, that you couldn’t before.  Not an incremental step from familiar territory into well explored territory, but a grand glorious crazy leap into the future. 

That kind of thing still has appeal to those of us who got into the personal computer revolution at the beginning.  So I have this little cell phone now…a thing I can hold in the palm of one hand…and I’m feeling like a kid again, beholding the world of tomorrow.  I love that feeling.  This little gizmo would make that first IBM PC compatible I built tremble in awe if it had feelings.  If I could have foreseen my iPhone 3Gs back when I was sitting alone in my bedroom, staring amazed at the PC I’d just successfully built, I’d have known that the future really was going to be everything I’d ever dreamed it would be.  Had I seen a Zune…not so much.

So I’m writing all this because a few days ago Mowgli died…again.  This makes the fourth major hardware failure I’ve had with Mowgli since I bought the Mac Laptop back in 2004.  And I can’t count the software glitches that kept him down for days at a time until I could work my way through it.  And with Microsoft’s new Windows license enforcement code, I can’t just simply fire up my copy of XP once I put a new motherboard in Mowgli.  This will be that XP install’s third motherboard and so I’ll have to phone Redmond and convince them I am not stealing their software so they will kindly unlock my copy remotely.  Fuck that.  I have had too many problems with Windows and Windows updates and Windows applications and Windows drivers and Windows this and Windows that to be begging them allow me to run software I have bought and paid for.  If my Windows platform was as reliable and as pleasant to use as my Macs I’d grit my teeth and bear it.  But it isn’t.  It never was.

So I’m replacing it.  With a Mac.  I’ll still be able to fiddle around with Linux since the Macs will boot off of external drives and most Linux distributions have always produced a version that ran on Macs too, whether they be PowerPC Macs or the new Intel based ones.  I could even run Windows on a Mac now, via one of the enabling VMs such as Boot Camp or Parallels, although Redmond restricts which versions of Vista and presumably Windows 7 you can do that with.  Which is the other thing I hate now about Windows…all the idiotic flavors of it. 

The office is running on Akela for the moment.  I put Mowgli’s data drive in a IDE to USB converter box and hooked it up to Akela, then copied its contents over to an external Firewire drive I’d partitioned and formatted in the MacOS file system.  My plan is to eventually move that data to a network drive, probably off a new router like the Apple Airport, that all the household computers can access.  I connected Akela to Mowgli’s ViewSonic monitor, the Altec sound system and the router and turned off it’s wireless for now.  I bought an Apple keyboard since I wanted a standard layout, not the laptop layout, to work on and all my spares are IBM PS2s and I don’t have any PS2 to USB connectors.  With the external keyboard I can run Akela with its lid closed and it’s almost like I’m working with a Mac desktop computer instead of a laptop.  I’m tempted to just run the office on a laptop forever now, since Akela has plenty of horsepower for it.  But it’s good to keep a laptop that is separate from your day to day home office so that when you take it anywhere it has no sensitive data on it.

I haven’t decided yet, but I’m leaning towards buying a Mac Mini for now, since it’s just straight pluggable into the peripherals I already have gathered about Mowgli, and now Akela.  I don’t really have the money now to replace Bagheera with a newer Mac Pro or Mowgli with an iMac.  My plan ideally would have been to replace Bagheera possibly next year and then move the older PowerPC machine upstairs to the office.  I need the more powerful Mac to be in the art room, where the graphics intensive work is.  But for now I need a new Office machine and it will not be another Windows box.  I am done with Windows.  I’m just not fucking with it any more.  Five years ago I wouldn’t have dreamed I’d be an all Mac household.  Now I am. 

It happened that fast, after the first one came into the house.  I am amazed.  But happily so.

by Bruce | Link | React!

December 25th, 2008

Merry Christmas!

So what did the rest of you kids get…?

Still have my Shootin’ Shell cap gun. It’s down in one of the storage bins in the basement, along with a couple of the spring loaded brass cases. Alas I lost all the little plastic bullets long ago, and they don’t make the stick-on caps anymore. And that gun is in no way collector’s grade. I played with my toys and it shows on the ones I kept for memories. The cylinder on the little cap gun (it’s about half the size of a real single action Colt) barely turns anymore.

I still have two of my two boyhood rifles. One is a boy’s sized Winchester lever action replica that took the old cap rolls and had a trigger catch on the lever you could flip out so that every time you worked the lever action the gun fired. Somewhat like Chuck Conner’s was tricked in The Rifleman. The other is a Daisy 660, which wasn’t a BB gun, (I might shoot my eye out) but made a loud pop whenever you pulled the trigger via a strong spring loaded mechanism inside the gun. You cocked the spring via the lever action, but the spring in that thing is so darn strong that to this day I cannot work the lever holding the gun in my arms. A kid had to put the gun muzzle down on the ground and push the lever forward with all his weight to get it cocked. Which was probably how I discovered dirt clods made entirely satisfactory projectiles.

That was a different world. A kid could arm himself to the teeth back then and nobody gave it a second thought. Wish I still had my Man From U.N.C.L.E. gun….

…and my James Bond Attache Case…

That thing had tons of nifty finger candy. The code book had an invisible ink pen. The wallet with the fake money and passport came with little business cards…Bond’s cover was he worked for Universal Import/Export…that had 007 printed on them in a yellow ink that you couldn’t see when they were tucked in the wallet (note the translucent red plastic card holder). Not sure what that was supposed to accomplish, but it was fun. The case itself took the standard roll caps. That’s because it was booby trapped. If you opened it with the wrong combination a cap would bang. It was an open question among us kids whether that was cooler then the Secret Sam attache case, which could shoot plastic bullets and had a real camera concealed inside you could snap pictures of people with surreptitiously. Or as surreptitiously as a nine year old kid walking around with an attache case could be.

In retrospect, you have to wonder about selling kids James Bond toys considering that your typical kid couldn’t get in to see the Bond movies back then because of the scant (by today’s standards) nudity. Being on television, The Man From U.N.C.L.E. couldn’t do that. But I guess you could sell kids James Bond guns so long as you didn’t sell them the sex that usually went along with the guns in the movies.

And then there were these little nightmares for today’s school administrators. Behold…the original Transformers…

Dig it… A transistor radio that became a rifle when you pressed a little button by the handle. There was also a camera that became a pistol and a jack knife that became a pistol…

They all took the standard cap rolls I think. And to make matters worse, the jack knife actually had a little plastic blade on it two you could flick out. Looking back on it you have to wonder what the adults were thinking watching the neighborhood kids run around blasting each other, playing dead for a while, then getting back up and blasting each other some more. But in those days it probably wasn’t the sight of kids playing with guns so much as the civil defense siren silhouetted in the sky behind us that would have worried them. We had one of those right in back of our garden apartment complex and you could see it from just about everywhere we played. Leading us through our duck and cover exercises probably disturbed the grown-ups a lot more then our playing with cap guns.

by Bruce | Link | React! (1)

November 9th, 2007

Two-Legged Flying Squirrels

This is very cool…

Nice! Whoever invented that can be proud. They have contributed greatly to the welfare of the species.

I may actually try that someday…

by Bruce | Link | React!

October 23rd, 2007

The Product As Cult

So as you probably know by now (because I’ve been bending everyone’s ear about it ever since October 12), I bought a brand new Mercedes-Benz.  But no…you don’t just buy a car when you buy a Mercedes…you buy into a…culture.  Sort of like another product line I’ve bought into recently…

So I drove my new car to Strudsburg PA, last weekend, to visit an old grade school friend.  In the process my car turned over its first thousand miles and I was obliged to bring it into the dealership for its complementary 1k checkup.  I did that this morning, and swear to god I’ve never been treated nicer by a car dealership in my life.  The waiting room was a nicely furnished lounge with free pastries and soft drinks, a widescreen HDTV to watch, and an Enterprise rental car office right in the lounge, in case the service department told you they’d have to keep the car for a while (I expect that if the car was still in warranty Mercedes would just give you a loaner car…they did me, no questions asked, when I traded my Accord in, but my new Mercedes wasn’t ready for delivery just yet…).  There was also a nice little Mercedes boutique shop, where you could shop Mercedes-Benz paraphernalia to your heart’s content while waiting for your car. There were the usual assortment of Mercedes-Benz approved car care products.  Polo shirts, jackets, caps, wallets, wrist watches, key fobs, umbrellas, posters…you name it. 

I bought a sharp looking little spun aluminum travel mug to go with the car.  It had the Mercedes three pointed star logo.  It was a lovely shape that seemed to go well with the look of the car I’d just bought.  I saw it and I had to have it.  I expect I’ll be experiencing that feeling a lot in the coming months, regarding Mercedes merchandise.

The guy behind the parts counter window handed my new Mercedes-Benz travel mug to me in a little box, that reminded me of something else I’d purchased not that long ago…

 

Oh yes…that.  The cult of Apple.  The cult of Mercedes-Benz.  Perhaps this was how initiates to the cults of the old gods once felt.  But was there merchandise they could buy…?

 

 

by Bruce | Link | React!

July 1st, 2007

Hey…A Brand New iPhone…Let’s Dissect it…

Yes I am interested in owning an iPhone.  But not the first generation ones.  I’ll wait.  But I’ve been wanting that all in one communication, personal information store, entertainment, wear on the belt or put in your pocket widget for years now.  The thing needs to grow a little more memory, and shrink a tad less in cost though.  But it will eventually.

In the meantime…via Slashdot, here’s a link to some folks who took their iPhone apart so the rest of us geeks could see what was inside.  Looks like 2/5ths of the space inside the thing is the battery.  The actual motherboard is quite small.  The GMS and WiFi antenna occupies about a sixth of it at the bottom.  The camera is the size of a small button in an upper corner.

Prepare to cringe as they dissect the touch screen panel…

by Bruce | Link | React!

June 19th, 2007

It’s Dead Jim…

My little iPod died yesterday.  Suddenly.  Very suddenly.  Just so all you other iPod kids know, they can go without warning.

I’d just got home from work.  My place of work is within walking distance of my home and unless the weather is looking really ugly I’ll almost always walk it, with iPod on my hip.  Actually, that iPod has become almost a constant companion now on my walks.  Also, when I’m busy puttering around the house doing chores.  So when I get home I check the iPod’s battery meter and it’s looking about half way drained and so I decide to pop it onto its charging stand so it’ll be fully charged for my evening walk.  The moment I sat it down on its charging pad the screen went blank and nothing, Nothing I could do, no pressing or prodding or stroking of any of its controls, could bring it back.

I’m more addicted to that thing then I ever was to my first Sony Walkman.  The first generation Walkmans used cassette tapes and were a blessing for those of us who liked to take long walks or hikes in the countryside, and always wanted our favorite music as a companion.  Before the Walkmans the best you could do was a small transistor radio and a single earplug with the high fidelity of a tin can.  Your only choices were whatever the radio stations you could pick up were playing at that moment, along with all the ads.  With the Walkmans you had great sound quality, no static, and you could play whatever you wanted, whenever you wanted, wherever you wanted.  But you were limited to what a single cassette could hold.  That often meant stuffing your pockets with cassettes, and still not having just the right music you wanted to listen to if you changed your mind in the middle of a walk.

When the first CD Walkmans came out they were an improvement, in that you had even better sound quality and the CDs held more music at a time.  But CDs didn’t really fit into a pocket very well, and the first clip-on-your-belt CD players often skipped when jarred, like when you were darting across a road or going up and down stairs.

The iPod is one of those little gizmos that shows how a lot of incremental improvements on a theme can suddenly add up to a revolution given just one more logical step.  Capacity.  I’d never pictured how things might be when I could take damn my whole music library with me everywhere.  Well I can now.  Almost.  I don’t think even 80 gigs is enough to hold all of mine, and half my library is on LPs so converting that is still going to be a bit of work.  But now I can go for a walk, or for a road trip, or on a business trip, and I don’t have to think about what music I should take along.  I just take the iPod with me and I have it all.  It also means I can back it all up so I need never loose any music I’ve bought due to breakage or theft.  No more heartbreak over a broken or lost record.  I can take all my music with me to work.  I can take it with me grocery shopping.  I can take it with me anywhere.  Of course, I still need somewhere to plug in and recharge the little dickens. 

I use my iPod now more then I use my big vacuum tube/solid state stereo system, and that thing used to be on constantly when I was home.  But now when I’m busy with household chores I’ll almost always have the iPod clipped to my belt.  I never did get around to wiring up the whole house for sound, and now I don’t need to.  I can wash dishes, do a laundry, iron my shirts, work in the back yard, paint my porch railings, refill the bird feeders, cook dinner, with the iPod clipped to my belt, feeding my ears any music from my library I want to hear. 

So when I saw that screen go utterly blank my heart sank.  Nooooo…!  I can wait for a repairman to come fix my washing machine, but I need my iPod, Now.  Luckily there is an Apple Store not far away from my house.  But all they could do was confirm that the thing was dead, and to fix it would take weeks possibly, and cost a tad more then half of what a new one would cost anyway.  Since the fix was just to replace the old iPod with a reconditioned one, I was a bit nonplussed that it would take over a week.  Erm…why don’t I just hand you my old one and a hundred and fifty bucks and you just hand me a reconditioned one…?

So I have a new iPod now.  It’s the fifth generation video player one (I really don’t see the use of playing video on an iPod, but maybe that’s because I’m not really watching much TV anymore as it is…).  For the same price as the old one cost me two years ago, the new one holds about 10 gig more, and has a bit more battery life between charges.  And it’s thinner and lighter, so it was a bit too loose in the old one’s hip case.  The new Incase case I bought is a bright electric blue (I’m thinking now I should have bought the pink one…) and protects the iPod inside a bit better then the old ones.  I asked the lady at the Apple support counter to look at the charger for the old one, to make sure it wasn’t the culprit.  She said it was okay, which was a good thing because as it turns out they don’t supply separate chargers with the new iPods.  You’re expected to charge from the computer’s USB port, but I turn Bagheera, the art room Mac which also holds my iTunes library, off when I’m not using it.  So I need the charger.

It’s a bit frustrating that the only fix for these little gizmos is to just completely replace them.  You can’t just open the back, diagnose which part failed and replace it and close it all back up again and hand it back to the customer.  It’s all one little board inside those things, and even the damn battery in an iPod is hard wired into place.  Apple will give you a small discount on a new one if you let them recycle the old one, which eased my mind a bit from an environmental standpoint.  But I still didn’t like it.  At least it’s not all just going into a landfill, but two years isn’t all that great of a lifespan.  My iPod was a forth generation, and I was hoping to at least leap frog over a generation before I bought another one.

by Bruce | Link | React!

November 26th, 2006

The New Zune Review…

…coming right at you. Okay…sorry…but watching this guy’s review of the new Microsoft Zune music player has made me a tad giddy…

Regards that Universal Music “Pirate Tax” as Nate calls it. Actually, the bad precedent was set back in the days of the compact cassette. The music industry pitched a fit in the 1970s about people taping music off the radio, and off of other people’s LPs with cassette recorders. In the 1980s the same sort of deal was struck regarding blank cassette tapes, and ever since then the price of a blank tape has included in it a “pirate tax”. Later, the Digital Audio Tape formate (DAT) died before it could get off the ground due to RIAA bellyaching about it’s potential for making clean copies from CDs. Even after they got a “serial copy management system,” included on every DAT recorder exported to the U.S., the RIAA bitched for royalties on each and every DAT machine and tape sold. So the precedent for Microsoft’s deal with Universal is, alas, already there. But Nate (who did the YouTube above) lives in Austrialia, where the situation may be different.

Bear in mind, that the first version of Microsoft Windows was an unmitigated piece of junk. By version 3.1 they were raking in the market share. On the other hand, Windows was able to monopolize the desktop market in a number of ways that I don’t see them being able to pull off in the consumer music player market. Sure, they own Windows, and Windows still has something like 90 percent of the desktop market. But music isn’t software. I know it’s techie to think of it that way, and in a sense you can think of it that way. But it’s not software. It’s content. Output, if you like.

Microsoft might be able to lock-in buyers to its own proprietary DRM formats, as Apple does, but the content itself is independent of all that. Even making exclusive deals with the record labels won’t lock people in. If the RIAA lawsuits have proven anything, it’s that locking music up doesn’t work. What Apple’s been proving for the past couple years is that if you make using digital music easy, convenient, and inexpensive, and the DRM unobtrusive, people will support it. Steve Jobs has said that piracy is a behavior issue, not a software issue, and I think Apple has struck the right balance by only making it hard to pirate iTunes music, not trying to make it impossible. Because then you end up locking everything down so tight you’re just pissing off your customers too.

But Microsoft’s business model has always been about locking users in. Extend And Embrace… That’s what that “Zune Points” crap is about. Not so much making the music look less expensive then it is, but locking you in. Microsoft doesn’t know any other way of doing business. That’s why they’ve never been successful outside of their core software business. So I don’t think they’re going to get very far here either.

by Bruce | Link | React!

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