Some morning’s when I get up I’m a bit more out of balance, have a bit more hand tremors, then others. At least now I know why. Knowledge is grounding in its way, but the fact of it is still irritating. That said, I and my particular generation may have a slight advantage navigating Parkinson’s. At least some of us.

A friend told me once about how his elderly mom had been given an opiate for pain relief, and how the side effect of being all fuzzy headed was distressing her. He reassured here that it was okay, that happens, and it was all part of the treatment. Then he mentioned how since back in our younger days we’d all been getting high on all sorts of things, we’d become familiar with the feeling of being high, and navigating on foot while a bit wobbly. We had experience with altered states of consciousness, while his mom had not and it was all new to her and a bit frightening.

This may have played a part in why I hadn’t pushed more vigorously about getting a diagnosis. I could navigate the wobbliness because I’d done it often enough before. Coming on out of the blue like that it didn’t scare me so much as irritate me. And confuse me a bit as to what was going on. No, this isn’t just getting old. Something’s up. Maybe if it had sacred me I’d have pushed harder for a diagnosis.

It still irritates me, but at least I know what’s happening now.