There is a meme I’ve seen maybe a dozen examples of, that speaks to something a lot of us gay folk have experienced. No, not about prejudice and hate. This is a different, further complication to our lives…

It goes something like this…a young or somewhat older adult is looking very skeptically back” at the viewer. The text below the image reads mostly as follows:

“Watching a gay teenager crush on his gay friendly straight best friend. It is a canon event, I cannot interfere.”

It feels such a relief to me personally to know this is so common among gay folk there are memes about it. Apparently lots of us experience this growing up. I’ve experienced this. But it happened to me in the early 1970s when it was nearly impossible for a gay kid to have anyone to talk to about it, let alone find stories about it that speak directly to us.

A hard lesson for gay kids to learn is that straight guys actually do fall in love with other guys. But for them it isn’t Eros it’s Philia:

Philia is affectionate, platonic love shared between equals, such as deep friendships, camaraderie, and loyalty. This bond is built on mutual respect, shared interests, and shared experiences. Philosophers like Aristotle and Plato highly prized Philia, considering it a more enduring and precious connection than Eros.

I believe there is a romantic love between same sex couples that blends both Eros and Philia that some of us, if we’re not lucky enough to find it, are seeking all our lives. I would put it to you that’s easier to find that “love between equals” among same sex couples more than opposite sex ones simply because of the rigid gender rolls our culture fits us into. Not impossible, and you see it occasionally among heterosexuals and it’s very uplifting. But that’s a discussion for another time.

What I want to talk about is that hard life passage many if not most gay folk have to walk through, usually in our adolescence, when it seems like you’ve found that perfect one…and they’re straight. In a time when gay kids were getting static from every direction, it was hard enough finding stories about same sex love and romance that weren’t degrading in some way, let alone stories that speak to that stressful heartbreaking romantic mismatch between gay/straight friends. It would be very helpful for us to have those stories to see ourselves in.

But so far I’ve only seen that story treated decently twice. Most recently in the finale of Stranger Things, where Will, a gay kid, has a deep crush on his straight best friend Mike, whose true love is the girl Eleven. The other was in a paperback book I read back in the 1980s, interestingly enough around the same timeframe as when Stranger Things is taking place: Counter Play.

Spoilers Ahead! Also, what follows is a somewhat truncated version of the story. Brad has a lot of girl problems in the story which I’m skipping over here to focus on his relationship with Alex and the trouble it makes for all of them when Alex is outed in almost the worst possible way.

Counter Play was written by Anne Snyder and Louis Pelletier, and follows the story of two best friends, Brad Stevens and Alex Prager, who are teammates on their high school football team. Brad, from a military family of West Point graduates going back generations, is the team captain and its quarterback, and Alex is his perfect wide receiver. The pair are so good they’ve given their team an edge over all the others, and a perfect record for two seasons, and heading into a third. Their coach is counting on the team maintaining its perfect record because he’s working on getting a contract for a coaching job with USC.

Brad, being from a military family, has had a hard time maintaining friendships because his family is always moving as dad, a lieutenant in the Army, gets moved from post to post. Now in his senior year he’s made a fast friend of Alex, who becomes equally close to Brad. They are best friends.

One day on a camping trip Brad starts talking about the girls at school and which one does Alex like, how about that cheerleader with the big boobs…Connie what’s her name… And Alex, seeing heartbreak ahead of him, tells Brad no he doesn’t have a girlfriend, he’s gay. Then he walks off, thinking now the friendship is over. Brad is stunned.

Call it a teachable moment: he would never have suspected that of Alex. Now Brad is upset he’s lost yet another friend. His family is moving all the time and it seems he can’t hold onto any friend he makes. He makes a decision. Alex is a good guy, he makes a good friend…why does his being gay even matter. So he runs after and catches up with Alex and tells him he doesn’t care he’s gay, he still wants to be friends.

So they settle into it. Best friends. But it’s more stressful for Alex than Brad because Alex hasn’t told him everything: he has a crush on Brad.

It works for a little while. Then Alex is accused of making a pass at a truck driver in a public restroom. Actually it was the older man who was a sexual predator and tried to sexually assault Alex (“You just need a little loving…). Alex tries to push the man off him which only makes him angry and he beats the crap out of the kid and leaves him bloodied on the restroom floor. The police are called and the trucker accuses Alex of making a pass at him. And of course the cops just take his word for it because in the 1980s a 17 year old gay teenager can be beaten bloody by an older man and all that older man has to do is wave the gay panic defense at the cops and he walks free.

And then the story gets around.

Brad of course believes Alex version of it because deep down they are two of a kind, All American Boys (in a better world this could have been a Disney movie, and in fact the co-author, Louis Pelletier, was a script writer for Disney). But it gets progressively harder and harder for Brad to stand up for his best friend now that he’s been outed to the rest of the school.

Coach McAveety starts quoting the bible in the locker room. Threatens to dump Alex from the team saying his presence is causing moral problems. Brad, their star player, threatens to quit if Alex can’t play.

“That’s blackmail!”

“You named it.”

Brad’s girlfriend starts questioning Brad about their relationship.

The story gets to Brad’s strict military dad, who orders him to end the friendship.

“He can’t help what he is. He says he was born that way.”

“That’s his excuse is it?”

“It’s not an excuse. He hates what he is.”

“So do I hate what he is!”

And Brad is the good son. Deeply troubled, he nonetheless obeys.

Which drives Alex even deeper into depression. He comes out to his parents and it’s not good. He makes his first venture into a local gay bar, because why not, the pretense is over, and he needs the company of other gay folk. In the bar he has a chat with a patron named Robin, while getting drunk on the house specialty. Alex finds himself finally able to talk to someone like himself who can maybe understand. He tells Robin his best friend had to break up with him when his dad found out. “He’s straight?” “Yes.” “You’re very fond of him.” “Yes.” Robin has been there. “Don’t tell him,” he advises. “Ever.”

Coming home, Brad finds Alex’ dad, Mr. Prager parked in front of his house, distraught. He tells Brad Alex came out and it didn’t go well and Alex drove off in his mom’s care. Brad thinks he knows where Alex might be and he and Mr. Prager drive to the bar looking for Alex. Brad finds Alex, drunk, and he and Robin help him out to the car where his dad is waiting, and Alex and his dad reconcile.

It gets worse for Brad. His congressional sponsor to West Point sits him down and tells him his friendship with Alex might be an “image problem”. Brad is livid, and devastated, because this basically ends his chances for West Point. He gets up and walks out on the congressman, who keeps making platitudes about patriotism and American values. Brad leaves fighting back tears. Going to West Point like his father, and his grandfather, and his great-grandfather, was his dream. But the all-American boy will not renounce his friendship with Alex.

A day comes when Best Player awards are handed out by coach. Alex gets one for most passes completed, but Alex is a no show because he was home with a twisted knee from the previous game. Word was out about Alex now beyond the school, and during one play Alex got essentially a fag bashing on the field. Coach says well somebody will get this to him I guess. Brad gets the most valuable player award but after everything he felt it an anticlimax. Eventually after the ceremony Brad picks up the award and makes a trip to Alex’ house to give it to him, hoping to make him feel better. He finds Mr. Prager sitting on their doorstep, and tells Brad Alex doesn’t want to talk to him. So Brad hands Mr. Prager Alex’ trophy and says he should be very proud of his son. Mr. Prager takes it gratefully, and says he hopes things work out between Brad and Alex.

Brad walks off sadly in the rain. And from his bedroom window Alex watches Brad walk away, hunched over in the rain. Alex’ heart is aching, and he thinks that Robin was right, he can never tell Brad how he feels.

Before the final game of the season, a fight breaks out in the locker room. One of the locker room bullies, Dutch, makes a rude remark about Brad’s old girlfriend and Brad starts kicking his butt. Dutch calls out to one of his fellow bullies for help and a teammate named Evans steps out of the shower to assist Dutch. But Alex gets in his face and all the anger he kept bottled up after being outed, the sexual assault, the unbelieving cops, the bullying of his own teammates, and then the other teams, just comes rushing out and he’s so full of adrenaline that he trashes the much bigger Evans. McAveety calls a halt to the fighting and orders twenty laps for all. Brad thanks Alex for helping out, and through a bloody lip Alex says “S’ okay…it was a pleasure.”

The final game of the season arrives. Alex is still on the bench with a bad knee after the rough treatment he got at their previous game when, Brad sees McAveety, intent on having his perfect season, and getting that Cal State contract, sending Alex onto the field. Brad argues with coach. Alex is still nursing his injured knee and Brad doesn’t want Alex getting hurt even more. McAveety doesn’t take kindly to Brad’s arguing with him when he needs that team of Stevens and Prager to pull a win from the jaws of defeat, and clinch his contract with Cal State, and in a fit of anger backhands Brad, and orders Alex back into the game.

It’s something gay folk know all too well: we’re sinful perverted faggots who don’t deserve anything but punishment for simply existing…until our skills and talents are needed. And afterward we’re back to being sinful perverted faggots.

The clock is almost run out. All the other team has to do is block this next play and they’ve won. In the huddle, they all know Alex is a target now, Alex knows he’s a target now, but the team is all in. Brad calls the play…a counter play…which is defined at the beginning of the book as:

A type of offensive backfield action that requires the flow to go in one direction and the ball carrier to move into the line going the opposite way.

Brad fakes a handoff, steps in one direction, and throws in another. But he’s angry, really angry, that the coach was willing to let Alex get seriously hurt just to maintain their perfect record. He thinks, I could throw it off, Alex will miss, and McAveety won’t get his perfect season.

But he can’t. It’s not in either him or Alex to fake it. He throws to where he knows Alex is going to be. Alex makes the catch. They win in the last seconds of the game.

McAveety gets his perfect three seasons. But the recruiter in the stands saw him swing at Brad, considers it unprofessional behavior, and tears up the contract.

Back home Brad’s father grills him about the reporting on the game. He is angry about a reporter for the local paper calling Brad and Alex Damon and Pythias for their performance on the field. Brad is finally reaching a breaking point over his father’s strict and unloving discipline. You told me to drop him and I did what more do you want? I want some respect, says his father.

“You’ve got some respect. Why don’t you want anything else, like love or friendship? Alex is the only real friend I ever had. I don’t care what else he is, he’s my friend. I never had time to make a friend before with us hopping from post to post.”

He orders Brad to go to his room.

“No Sir, I am not going to my room.”

It was one time too many. Dad realizes there’s nothing on the other end of the leash now. He leaves the table. Brad packs his backpack. He needs time away from the family drama. He and his dog take to the trails for an overnight.

Along the way his dog starts running ahead, happily barking. It’s Alex walking ahead. He needed some time away too. Happily, they join up and walk the path together.

And that is how the story ends. Two best friends, gay and straight, walking together.

I don’t think this book is even still in print anymore, which is tragic. You can order it second hand though. I can’t recommend it enough. It’s a wonderful story. I just wish they hadn’t made that awful made for TV movie about it. They renamed it The Truth About Alex, which says it all doesn’t it. Counter Play is the perfect title because that going against the flow, not making the easy choices but the right ones, is what the story is about. They completely ruined the story. Oh, and they cast Scott Baio as Brad. Seriously?

Somebody should make a movie that is loyal to the story. Some of us really need stories like this one.