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February 27th, 2007

Truth

They say that fundamentalism springs from fear of the unknown. They say it’s a retreat from reality into the comfort of dogma: a mental padded cell where no doubt ever disturbs the peaceful tranquility. It is a place they say, where there are no questions, no doubts, only comfortable certainties. A place where you don’t have to think for yourself, and most importantly, where you are not responsible, only forgiven.

I disagree. Fundamentalism I believe, springs not from fear of the unknown, but from fear of the people next door. Fear that they can cope with the world as it is, better then you can. Resentment of their courage in facing a world that you cannot. Envy that turns into hate. Fundamentalism doesn’t so much give you a place to hide from the world that the rest of us manage, somehow, to go on living in, as give you permission to put your thumb into our eyes.

Here, Mara Schiavocampo captures Peterson Toscano in a couple all-too-brief passages from his one man play, Doing Time In The Homo No-Mo Halfway House. She intercuts excerpts from Peterson’s play, and an interview with him, with an interview of John Smid inside his little ex-Episcopalian church, turned conversion therapy camp. There’s a moment in the video with that’s telling, and it comes when Peterson explains how he finally had to ask himself one day, what he was doing to himself, and John he insists that The Truth…The Truth…The Truth…has set him free…

The Truth…The Truth…The Truth… Jacob Bronowski in his magnificent book and BBC series on the history of science, The Ascent of Man, devoted an entire episode to the difference between truth and dogma, titled Knowledge or Certainty. He begins with the face of his friend, Stephan Borgrajewicz who, like himself, was born in Poland. And he asks us, how well, how precisely, can we describe this man’s face? He asks a painter to render it, and says…

We are aware the these pictures do not fix the face so much as explore it; that the artist is tracing the detail almost as if by touch; and that each line that is added strengthens picture but never makes it final. We accept that as the method of the artist. But what physics has now done is to show that that is the only method to knowledge. There is no absolute knowledge. And those who claim it, whether they are scientists or dogmatists, open the door to tragedy. All information is imperfect. We have to treat it with humility. That is the human condition; and that is what quantum physics says. I mean that literally.

This episode is the heart of the entire series. In it, Bronowski calmly and methodically rips to bits the view that science is only about dry facts and figures. It is a method of knowledge he insists…a very human one. We are not Gods, we do not have the perfect God’s eye view of reality. So we must approach what we know with humility, and question it, and test it, and verify it, because we do not have that perfect absolute knowledge of Gods. We can be right, we can be wrong, but when we do not test our knowledge against reality, when we set ourselves apart from that need to test our understandings and let nature speak its truths for itself, we open the door to the worst that is possible within us. And that worst has no bottom. Bronowski ends the episode on one of public television’s most powerful, most moving moments, and it ends as it began, with the face of Stephan Borgrajewicz, many years younger, taken when he was imprisoned in a concentration camp…

We have to cure ourselves of the itch for absolute knowledge and power. We have to close the distance between the push-button order and the human act. We have to touch people. The truth John, is that you won’t stop forcing gay teens through your program against their will, because it’s the ones that are comfortable with who they are that you need to force your cheapshit cowardly self loathings into the most. The truth John, is that you sold out every moment of pure and honest happiness you could ever have had, for the sake of pleasing a world that Still thinks you’re a pervert. The truth John, is that now you can’t bear to see a happy, well adjusted gay kid, because they remind you of everything you could have been, everything you could have had. The truth is the wall is yellow John. Take a look at it someday god damn you. An honestly lived life isn’t necessarily an easier one, but it’s…you know…Authentic and Real.

by Bruce | Link | React!

February 22nd, 2007

Couldn’t You At Least Have Offered A Moneyback Guarantee?

…and…a blender?

Here’s Peterson Toscano and Lance Carroll on the Montel Williams show, briefly discussing how they came to find themselves in reparative therapy. Two things are worth noting here: Peterson went in of his own free will, while Lance was forced into it by his parents. Peterson left of his own accord, finally accepting himself just as he was, and remained very close to both his parents. Lance is now estranged from both of his. 

This conversation is all too brief, but I guess that’s the format of the Montel Williams show, to flit from one topic to another to another during the course of an hour. Someone should sit those two down together for a long talk on camera where they can talk about their experiences in more depth, how it felt, what it did to them, what their lives are like now: the one who went in of his own accord out of devotion to God, and the one who was forced in against his will.

 

And here’s a clip from a Boston Legal episode about a man suing his ex-gay ministry. Great line at the end…

John…are you reading this? Have you given Lance’s parents back their money yet? Bring families together do you? Ever tell Lance you’re sorry? Ever find where you buried your conscience? You had one once…didn’t you? Do you remember what it was like…way back then…to have a conscience…?

by Bruce | Link | React! (1)

February 19th, 2007

Loving The Sinner…(continued)

From The San Francisco Chronicle…   An evangelical Christian minister from Missouri, has come to San Francisco to teach gays and lesbians how to become straight.  And how to lie for Jesus

The Brodeurs — who do weekly outreach in the Castro to encourage gay people to re-evaluate their sexual orientation — said they invited Desert Stream to use their church for the seminar. It cost $35 and drew participants from congregations around the Bay Area.

"Their message is about bringing the love of Jesus into people’s hearts," she said. "It’s not ‘Don’t do this. You’re evil, you’re going to hell.’ "

Well that’s certainly a welcome change from the usual hellfire and damnation spew isn’t it?

Not… 

But a workshop handout written by Desert Stream founder Andy Comiskey ticked off a list of "wickedness," including lesbianism, sexual violence and child molestation, and stated: "For those who overcome the darkness, a rich and eternal inheritance. For those who refuse to overcome, eternal judgment."

Feel the love.  One of the protesters outside the seminar related his story of how he’d been in an ex-gay program for eight years and it nearly drove him to suicide.  But what you have to understand about these ministries is that what happens to the people in them doesn’t matter.

"I went through depression, major anxiety, panic disorder and attempted suicide."

They didn’t take him in to cure him.  They took him in to use him in their little dirty war on the ability of people to freely love and be loved with or without the permission of the tribal witch doctor.  There is no reverence for the sacred that begins with a lie.  That seminar wasn’t about letting love come into a human heart, whether it’s the love a same sex couple find in each other or the love of Christ or the love of God Almighty.  Love knows no authority but itself.  That’s the problem with it.  That’s why they want it out of our hearts altogether.  Our hearts have to be emptied.  So that they can fill them with their will.  If it kills a few of us…so what?

by Bruce | Link | React!

February 6th, 2007

Well That Was Fast…

Even John Smid says he needs at least eight weeks…

Haggard says he is not gay

The Rev. Ted Haggard emerged from three weeks of intensive counseling convinced he is "completely heterosexual" and told an oversight board that his sexual contact with men was limited to his accuser.

[Rev. Tim Ralph of Larkspur] said three weeks of counseling at an undisclosed Arizona treatment center helped Haggard immensely and left Haggard sure of one thing.

"He is completely heterosexual," Ralph said. "That is something he discovered. It was the acting- out situations where things took place. It wasn’t a constant thing."

Why Haggard chose to act out in that manner is something Haggard and his advisers are trying to discern, Ralph said.

I’ll hazard a guess…because he’s gay. This is the guy after all, who said he didn’t even know the guy he was paying for sex, right up to the moment the answering machine tapes came out. Not your most trustworthy source, this guy.

On the other hand, this could also just be the usual ex-gay double-speak too. Haggard isn’t gay, because according to ex-gay dogma nobody really is anyway. He’s just in therapy to control his acting out behavior. But the human identity isn’t a blackboard anyone can scribble their will upon. His acting out was on the order of seeking sex under less then wholesome circumstances. But that was because of denial, not homosexuality.

Sex is one of the strongest of all instincts, and you can’t bottle it up inside a person without damaging consequences. Haggard’s adventures with the prostitute were eminently predictable. You see that kind of behavior all the time in married, closeted homosexuals. The ex-gay solution is merely to bottle it up even more. So it looks like Haggard’s first step out of therapy is taking him right down the same old road he was on before he got caught with his back being rubbed. No wonder they were encouraging him to stay out of the ministry.

by Bruce | Link | React!

January 28th, 2007

Peterson Toscano in Portland

Good interview of Peterson in the Portland Mercury…

Ex-Ex-Gay
Peterson Toscano: A Survivor of the Ex-Gay Movement

For 17 years, Toscano identified as a "born-again, conservative, evangelical, Republican Christian," at odds with his orientation. He now travels the country to educate people on the dangers of ex-gay programs, and how he was finally able to reconcile his faith (now as a Quaker) with his identity.

If his show ever comes around to your neck of the woods you just have to see it.  It is amazing.

by Bruce | Link | React!

January 20th, 2007

Let Us Prey…On Families…

Via Ex-Gay Watch…  For a ministry whose alleged purpose is to help homosexuals, they sure spend a lot of time talking to heterosexuals.  And these days, heterosexual parents especially

If one reads the news coverage following pretty much any Love Won Out conference it quickly becomes obvious they are attended primarily by family, friends and clergy rather than actual ex-gays or gays. As I’ve stood at the driveways to churches where Love Won Out is hosted I’ve seen too many cars pass by with children in the back seat, looks of sheer fear and dread on their faces, their parents unable to reconcile their faith with their child’s sexuality.

I’ve seen that horrific spectacle myself, while standing on a protest line outside of Love In Action.  Last summer I watched while one car drove out of Love In Action with a very young, very miserable looking teenage boy in the back seat.  He put a a spiral notebook up to his face to hide it as the car approached the picket line, his parents sat in the front seats with  angry faces.  Not five minutes before, I had been told by one of the protest organizers that an LIA staffer had assured him there were no underage kids attending Refuge that year.  And as it turns out, John Smid, the child abusing leader of that little cult, is trolling the Exodus Love Won Out conferences for fresh blood

“I go to every Love Won Out conference,” Smid said, “and 60% of those who attend are parents. It’s primarily a ministry to parents, that’s their goal.”

Which is just as a lot of us thought.  Parents are really the only significant growth opportunity left to the ex-gay snakeoil salesmen.  Especially fundamentalist parents who can be terrified into forcing their kids into undergoing ex-gay therapy.  Which John insists really does work…

“The world is bombarding us with the lie that [homosexuals] should not change, cannot change, that it’s harmful to change,” said John Smid of Love in Action (LIA). “The media is bombarding people with those lies.”

The wall is yellow John.  

He said parents want to know how to build a respectful relationship with their children, which is necessary before they can help their children escape the tentacles of a homosexual lifestyle.

Oh really?  I was at the protest against the Love Won Out conference in Silver Spring last year, and a former "client" of John’s, Lance Carroll, was there on the protest line too.  Lance was also at the Love In Action protest in Memphis last summer, and spoke to reporters there about his experience as an unwilling participant in John’s Refuge program for teens.  Like other teens who have been through the "program", Lance was forced into it by his parents, a situation that John happily goes along with, I guess in the name of building respectful relationships.  But what was really heartbreaking about Lance’s story, was what happened to him after he left LIA.  His situation at home became even more abusive, to the point where the boy was being beaten up and he had to get the hell out of there.  Now there’s a respectful relationship for you.  And it only cost his parents $10,000.00.

Lance expressed the hope several times to me while standing on that picket line, that John would come out and talk to him.  Of course he didn’t.  If you don’t acknowledge the people in your life that you have failed, then you can say you have not failed anyone.   And cash the checks with a somewhat clear conscience.

Smid says family involvement is crucial to give the client the best shot at restoration in his or her life. Many other ministries have used LIA’s materials to start their own outreach, notable among them Focus on the Family’s Love Won Out conferences. Not only did Focus on the Family adopt LIA materials and resources, but the ministry was pioneered by LIA graduates.

Materials let it be said, created by someone whose own family life is somewhat less then perfect, apparently.  This is something I hadn’t heard before, but it’s strikingly unsurprising:

“Healing from the causes of homosexuality takes time,” Smid said. Again, his own experience brings a poignant focus on the needs he still faces in his restoration process. One of his deepest prayers is to reach reconciliation with his daughters. Those dysfunctional family relationships – consequences of his own poor choices – now fuel his passion for LIA to serve the whole family.

So to recap: he’s a self loathing gay man who spent his entire life running away from what he is, he’s on somewhat less then good terms with his own children, and he’s getting thousands of dollars from the parents to teach them, he claims, how to build respectful relationships with their gay children.  Swell.  Next time my roof needs fixing I think I’ll call a carpenter whose house has fallen apart.  Sure…I can hold a hammer.  Watch me hit myself in the head with this one.  Watch me do it again…

You see this over and over again in this struggle…people who are thoroughly obsessed with fighting the homosexual demon, that turn out to have painful family lives.  Maybe it’s a gay kid they loath.  Maybe it’s a gay parent.  Maybe it’s a failed marriage.  Maybe it’s their own failure to be the parents their kids need them to be.  But whatever it is in their own family lives they’re unhappy with, rather then accept responsibility for it they turn outward, looking for scapegoats.  And for thousands of years, gay people have played the role of human scapegoats for the intimate failures of heterosexuals…and those who wish they were heterosexual.  I wonder if John was having trouble with his daughters the day he told Tom Ottosen "I would rather you commit suicide than have you leave Love In Action wanting to return to the gay lifestyle."   What I don’t wonder now is what John would have told Ottosen’s parents had he actually done that.  Nothing.  The man who could not so much as bring himself to walk over to Lance Carroll and acknowledge Lance felt so badly about how he was treated inside Love In Action…not even to apologize for it, just to acknowledge it…would have said nothing to Ottosen’s parents if their son had died as a result of John’s advice.  Of that I am absolutely certain.  The man who instructs his unwilling charges that they have to "be honest, authentic, and real", has a long familiarity with running away from his own issues. 

And he seems to think God should be willing to help him keep doing that

"I’m looking at that wall and suddenly I say it’s blue," Smid said, pointing to a yellow wall. "Someone else comes along and says, ‘No, it’s gold.’ But I want to believe that wall is blue. Then God comes along and He says, ‘You’re right, John, [that yellow wall] is blue.’ That’s the help I need. God can help me make that [yellow] wall blue."

The wall is yellow John.

"Basically, their form of therapy is conditioning. It’s a negative reinforcement of shame. Anything that you connect to homosexuality, you connect to shame within yourself. You internalize this hatred toward yourself, this homophobia, this embarrassment…two months, every day, morning and evening, they would take turns. A person would get up and you would literally shame them for their feelings…"

-Lance Carroll

You don’t build respectful relationships on such a foundation as this.  You can’t.  When you rip apart someone from within like this, you aren’t doing it to make them a better person.  You do it, to punish them for existing.  You do it, so they will never rise above you, will never become the fully realized human beings that you never could yourself.  The staringly obvious thing about this assault on gay teens is that it isn’t about healing them, let alone bringing their families together.  Just look at the indifference toward them after they’ve left the "program".   This is about destroying the person within.   Nothing else.  John Smid is doing nothing more noble and righteous then making himself a willing pawn in the big boy’s Kultar Kampf, so he can fill the void inside of him with the lost hopes and dreams of young adults and helpless teenagers.  Probably, they remind him of himself the day he took his own hopes and dreams around behind the barn and killed them.  The big boys, the rich and powerful of the American hard core right wing, do it out of a bottomless hatred of the human spirit, which does not willingly accept their whips and chains.  But for the likes of John, it is more personal, more focused, more intimate.  Every light he manages to snuff out within a young person’s heart, justifies the choices he made in life that left darkness inside his own.  That’s why he does it.  In a larger sense, that’s why they all do it.  It matters not if it leaves a family in ruins.  Just so long as it leaves the kid’s heart in ruins.

by Bruce | Link | React! (1)

January 13th, 2007

Who Will Save The Kids From Their Saviors?

There is a new movie out that I absolutely cannot fathom ever watching; Alpha Dog.  As I understand it, the film dramatizes the true life kidnapping and murder of a 15 year old boy.  I glanced at a review of it, which gave a few details.  The victim was the brother of an older teen who owed a drug debt.  Murder was not the original intent, only to make the brother pay up.  The kid was taken to a house where he eventually began to enjoy the drugs and the scene and party it up a bit himself, not taking too seriously the situation he was in because his kidnappers were other kids not much older then he was.  He thinks he is making friends with them.

But then the kidnapper talks with his lawyer and realizes the magnitude of the crime he’s committed, and step-by-step, feels backed into a corner where actually killing the kid looks like the only thing he can do.  The review I read remarked on how uneasy you feel watching the whole situation unfold, watching that kid in the company of his kidnappers, enjoying their company, not taking too seriously the situation he’s in, hoping that what what you just know is going to happen won’t   And then it does.  I can’t watch that.  Just thinking about it now as I type this, is stressing me out.  I feel an urgent need to get that kid the hell out of there, by any means necessary.  And I can’t.  It’s too late.  It’s many years too late.  I think about how I was blissfully enjoying my own life, while this fifteen year old was in the company of kids who would eventually murder him and it just stresses me out.  No way am I going to watch that movie.

I raise this because of something Peterson Toscano said on his blog recently.  Peterson was recently made aware of situations inside some of these ex-gay camps for kids, that many of us have been very much afraid of :

On June 26, 2006 I initially left voice messages for Alan Chambers of Exodus International and another national ex-gay leader about inappropriate incidents that affected youth at an Exodus member ministry. I will not go into the details at this time, but I shared three specific situations that happened within the previous year. The shocking details of the third situation compelled me to contact Alan and this other national leader. In my initial messages I said that I would rather discuss this privately, but if they did not wish to talk, then I would initiate a public discussion.

Peterson Toscano, after all he’s been through in his life, is one of the most inwardly calm and decent people I’ve ever met.  His style is not to be confrontational, but to speak to a person’s conscience, to their better nature, and try to work together with them to resolve problems.  He would not be making this matter public if there was any other way.  But Exodus doesn’t seem to want to address the issue.  For half a year, he has been trying to get Exodus to agree to some basic guidelines for protecting the kids in their "programs".  Now it looks like he’s just getting the brush-off.

Peterson worries that some of us may be hoping for a scandal that will finally bring down the ex-gay ministries.

The non-violent work that I do involves attempting to connect with people to create a "win-win" situation if at all possible. Building relationships, shedding assumptions, believing the best in people are all part of my Christian testimony. Joe Brummer outlines some of these non-violent steps in his most recent post. I don’t hate Alan or Exodus. I have used much restraint in hopes of seeing real change.

Some of us who feel we have been wounded by the ex-gay ministries and the anti-gay church may have sometimes wish to do them harm and to think the worse, to malign them the way that we feel they malign the LGBT community. For me Jesus’ teachings is that I should seek to do good and speak out against injustice but not exact revenge.

Perhaps some people would love there to be a major Exodus scandal. I want to see one avoided.

Do I wish them harm?  Here’s what I wish.  In a just society anyone who participated in forcing a gay kid into one of these places would be in jail, along with the other child molesters.  That’s my wish.  But the possibility of a scandal of this nature disturbs me so deeply that I have to step back from this fight periodically, for the sake of my own sanity.  I think that’s why a lot of people hold this fight at arm’s length.  It’s just too emotionally stressfull.  You want to get those kids the hell out of there and you can’t.  The law is against you.  There’s nothing you can do but watch in a kind of growing gut wrenching horror.  Ever since the Memphis protests, ever since I read that Refuge Rule Book Zach Stark posted, I’ve felt like I was watching a situation unfold, watching gay kids being put into camps run by men with no training other then religious dogma, no understanding of human sexuality, and no respect for the sexual nature of these kids, hoping that what what you just know is going to happen won’t   And when it does, I am not going to be happy, I am going to be sick.

Peterson Toscano is one of the most decent people I have ever met.  I hope his way of conflict resolution has the desired effect.  I trust, since he actually knows more about this environment from first-hand experience then I’ll ever know in a lifetime, that he knows what he’s dealing with.  I hope I am wrong: He believes there is a better nature within these people that can be reached.  I think they’re rotten to the core.  I think they’ve taken their conscience around behind the barn and killed it.  I hope I am wrong.  I hope I won’t see happen, what I just know is going to happen.  But I don’t think even a sex abuse scandal will cause these people to reconsider what they are doing to kids.  They’re on a mission from God, and God is never wrong. 

People already know there is a potential for abuse here.  This isn’t rocket science.  And yet nothing is done, and kids are still being shoveled into it.  Perhaps the reason for that is because the people involved in running these places Don’t Care.   Exodus is not about helping people out of homosexuality…it is about fighting against gay civil rights.  It’s about enforcing the pariah status of homosexual people.  That is what Exodus is about.  You may disagree, but that’s the only scenario where this behavior, this practical if not rhetorical indifference to the welfare of the kids in it, Makes.  Any.  Sense. 

You think that any sane parent, even one that was vehemently opposed to homosexuality (I know…I know…  It’s like being vehemently opposed to left-handedness…), would be disturbed to learn that their kids where being tossed into a mix of adults that included men who admitted to being sexual addicts and compulsives.  You’d think that even these parents would be appalled to learn that some of these "former" sexual compulsives were staff members themselves, who could at any time get their kid alone somewhere on campus for a little private counseling.  You’d think.

But then you watch these parents come and go in and out of Exodus "Love Won Out" conferences, you see them taking part in the larger anti-gay political agenda, and you listen to them mouth the same filthy lies about gay people we’ve all heard over and over thousands of times like a mantra of hate, and you realize that…yes…they probably wouldn’t care anyway.  For a lot of these parents, I am convinced, these ex-gay camps aren’t a last resort to changing their kid’s sexual orientation at all.  They’re punishment, pure and simple.  What the religious right likes to call "tough love" and what otherwise decent people call child abuse.  They want the kid to suffer, so they’ll never forget how much their own parents hate them for turning out to be faggots.  Not necessarily suffer actual physical sexual abuse…no.  Of course not.  But the environment they’re being tossed into is primed for just that kind of thing to happen.  It cannot be defused without gutting them of their mission, which is not to cure, but to enable the social and political abuse of these kids, and the adults they will grow into.  You cannot enable the one, without some degree of indifference for the other.  And it is of a piece with the indifference of the religious right to anti-gay violence in general.  Here is Randy Thomas of Exodus, in an ad campaign against hate crime laws:

Of course, yes, many parents, not vehement about homosexuality, are simply terrified into sending their kids into these camps.  They’re afraid for their kids, afraid because of the lies they’ve been taught by the religious right about homosexuals and homosexuality, afraid for their immortal souls.  The last thing in the world these parents want is for their kid to be sexually abused while in one of these things.  They trust in the people who run these camps, being righteous men and women of God.  But the horrible nature of these places is that sexual abuse is in fact, what these places do.  It is what they are meant to do. 

We know instinctively that sexual abuse isn’t simply a matter of the physical act alone.  It is a dagger plunged into their heart of the one who suffers it.  We know this.  And yet, we loose sight of it when it comes to what the ex-gay ministries do.  We think of the child abuser as a monster, acting in pure selfish contempt and greed.  We picture them as evil, vicious, brutal thugs.  But greed has many faces.  Consider for a moment instead, the victim.  What do we often see in the victims of sexual abuse, and in particular, in the kids who have suffered it.  Withdrawal.  Guilt.  Shame.  Alienation.  Self destructiveness.  Guilt.  Shame.  A fear of sex and sexual intimacy that can work against any intimate human relationship they might attempt throughout their lives.  Shame.  Guilt.  Shame.  Shame.  And shame.  And what do we see in gay kids who have been taught to fear and loath their sexuality?  Exactly the same things. 

To methodically teach a gay kid to fear and loath their sexual nature is to do to them essentially what a rapist does to their victims, but without the physical act.  And worse: because the child molester is universally condemned in our society and in human societies all over the world, but the people running these camps are held in high esteem as doing the work of God.  For gay kids who internalize the message these camps do their damnest to put into them, there is no refuge from shame, not even the slightest comfort that what was done to them was a profound and unforgivable crime.  To the contrary, the sense that they were to blame for what happened to them, is brutally re-enforced by the culture around them, particularly if they come from fundamentalist families.

What kind of people do this?  Monsters?  Perhaps.  But not necessarily.  There is hate, and there is greed.  Sometimes they dance together.  Sometimes they dance alone.   Sometimes greed wears a face that seems compassionate and loving, until you realize that it’s the face of a vampire.  There is love that is selfless and giving, and rejoices in the happiness of the beloved.  And there is that greed that is selfish and needy and possessive and wears love like a mask, to hide a bottomless indifference to the damage it does.

Peterson has been trying hard to raise awareness of the potential for something worse then what he’s already discovered happening in these camps, and he’s made little headway judging from his post.  He would greatly disagree with me on this I’m sure, but the problem as I see it is they’d have to care first, and you can’t care about what happens to kids physically without caring about what happens to them spiritually too.  And the problem with that is it raises too many uncomfortable questions.  Questions that call into doubt the very existance of these camps.  Better not to ask them.

This is all of a piece.  Note that none of these places keep any follow-up statistics on their "clients".  As Wayne Besen found out while investigating them for his book, Anything But Straight, they can’t tell you their success rate because they don’t know it themselves.  They don’t know how many of their "clients" stay heterosexual.  They don’t know how the bond between parent and child does after a kid is run through their "program".  They don’t know anything at all about the sexual, let alone the emotional health of their "clients" one, two, three years or more after they’ve been in the "program".  They don’t want to know.  The anecdotal evidence after all, is bad enough.  I’ve heard the stories first-hand, from kids who have lived it.  And the recurring theme through all of it is that none of these places seemed to give a good goddamn what happened to them after they’d gone through their "program".

This isn’t rocket science.  Following up should not only be easy, but for people who are acting out of love for the kids it should be imperative.  They should be critically intent on knowing how well they are doing their job.  Are the kids better for having been though the program, or not?  Are we doing anything wrong?  Could we do better?  Yet, they don’t want to know.   

This blindness to the sexual safety of the kids in their custody is telling, in precisely the same vein.  You need to pay attention to this.  The great crimes against humanity don’t happen because of people who shake their fists at God and hoist the Jolly Roger.  They happen, because of indifference to the humanity of their victims.  Elie Wiesel, who survived the extermination camps of the thousand year Reich, captures it perfectly here:

The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference.  The opposite of art is not ugliness, it’s indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it’s indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it’s indifference.

The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference.  The claim of the ex-gay camps is that they do what they do to kids out of love.  To that, Peterson Toscano says taking steps to protect young people from abuse while in these camps is not only good business, but shows a genuine love for them.  But there’s the problem.

by Bruce | Link | React!

January 10th, 2007

The Bitter Pain Of Harrassment…

Apparently Ex-Gay-For-Pay Randy Thomas, membership director of Exodus, and staunch opponent of hate crime laws, is getting a bit tired of being harassed for what he is…

This is rich:

Private Blog

There is something to be said about having a public blog.  I love to blog.  I have made some amazing friends and had wonderful conversations over the years.  I like posting pictures and artwork and discussing important topics (overcoming homosexuality only being one of millions of important topics.)  Even so, having a personal "public" blog is also time intensive.  Especially when you have so many people willing to harass you and your loved ones because they don’t agree with you. :)  So, at this point, this blog is going to be completely private and posts will only be visible to my VOX neighborhood, friends and family…

Scott over at Reality Cubed has a pretty good retort up to all this, to which I can only add that it’s grotesque watching someone who played his part in a right wing propaganda offensive against hate crime laws, with gusto, bellyaching now about being harassed because, because, because they don’t agree with him.  Honestly you pathetic gutter crawling maggot, I don’t give a flying fuck what your opinions are about homosexuals and homosexuality.  Out of the lifestyle are you?  Fine.  Whatever.  And for the record I don’t think people should be harassing you online, except I strongly suspect what you consider harassment is simply the kind of eminently expectable ill will people get in return when they keep spitting in their neighbor’s faces, and trashing their lives.  Be nice if your kind would stop inciting religious passions against gay people, and then encouraging the police and the courts to keep looking the other way when they start taking it out on us violently though, wouldn’t it?  Ask this Milwaukee Lesbian what being harassed feels like, you drooling moron.

Randy’s the guy on the…er…far right…in the ad below, produced by Exodus in their offensive in late 2005 against hate crime laws protecting gay people from what happened to Angela Emanule above, and countless others, like James Maestas, who was beaten so badly in Santa Fe earlier in the same year Exodus produced this ad, that his lungs were burned by his own stomach acid.

Here’s Randy hobnobbing with Karl Rove…

And, just to remind everyone, here’s how Rove likes winning elections in swing states…

Producing the inevitable results like this one…

or like what happened to Patricia Wells after she got in the way of a neo-nazi attacker who broke into her trailor to kill her gay son

The gay kid wasn’t there, but the man managed to kill his 17 year old friend who was.  And republicans sure do seem like they’re perfectly willing to live with the consequences of demonizing homosexuals for votes, so long as it keeps winning them elections.   And you’ll keep helping them do it won’t you Randy?  Like…by spreading the damnable lie that we think our lives are more valuable then anyone else’s.  All that ad did was generate more hate toward gay people.  But…that’s what it was for.  You know what Randy?  Your name was on the knife that killed Kristofer King.

Scumbag.

by Bruce | Link | React!

November 19th, 2006

We Respect A Person’s Right To Self Determination. Gay Teens Just Aren’t People.

From Daniel Gonzales at Ex-Gay Watch…with an assist from Peterson Toscano. How the religious right talks out of both sides of its mouth…

But then again…if Exodus respects a person’s right to self determination, why do they oppose same sex marriage, and why do they support a state’s right to enact sodomy laws? It’s simple: they don’t mean what they say. It’s just rhetoric for popular consumption. Self determination is anathama to the religious right…and not just with regard to the rights of gay people. Heterosexuals could find themselves in an America where it is illegal to sell any and all forms of birth control, even to legally married heterosexual couples. You can tell everything you need to know about the religious right’s respect for a person’s right to self determination by the sexual abuse they’re perfectly willing to inflict on teenagers, who cannot legally say no. When the rest of us loose our right to tell them No, they’ll do the same to us, never doubt it. The ninth commandment after all, says not to bear false witness against your neighbor. It doesn’t say anything about lying To your neighbor.

by Bruce | Link | React! (2)

November 6th, 2006

This Drug Is Okay…

On October 29 the state of Tennessee essentially washed its hands of the question of whether or not Love In Action needed to be licensed in order to treat mentally ill "clients". Tennessee agreed to pay LIA’s legal bills in exchange for their dropping a lawsuit that claimed they had a religious exemption from any department of health oversight. Tennessee is accepting the word of a man who said God could make him see blue walls were there were yellow, that he has not, and will not be dispensing drugs to his "clients".

The fact of their forcing ex-gay therapy on unwilling gay teenagers, which was what started the public outcry over LIA practices, was never at issue, unfortunately. At least one gay teen has publicly accused the ministry of forcing him to take Prozac, which he did not have a doctor’s prescription for. LIA denied it, and apparently Tennessee never performed more then a perfunctory investigation of the allegations that they were giving clients drugs, let alone that they were forcing them on unwilling gay teenagers as part of their therapy to cure them of their homosexuality. What their dangerous mix of religion and invasive psyco-therapy does to adolescents, apart from any issue of drugging them, was never even looked into. So the abuse of gay youth in Memphis will continue. Probably until some catastrophe happens, at which point everyone will be wondering why nothing was done sooner…

(From The Cartoon Page… )

 

by Bruce | Link | React! (2)

October 30th, 2006

Comments…I Get Comments…

A former LIA "client" and now booster takes issue with this post of mine.  Here’s my reply…

—– 

> I, having been a client at LIA (March, 2005), would like to know some of
> Lance’s horrendous experiences caused by his time there. 

A client were you?  Swell.  You know the difference between being a "client" and being an inmate…right?  There’s the beginning of the horror right there buddy, and what’s disturbing right off the bat about your comment is that you seem utterly unable to even notice it.  So you my friend, are part of the horror.

Those kids are not in there by choice.  Most of them had either made peace with their sexual nature, or were at least beginning to, when they were dragged into LIA by parents terrified from the cesspool of anti-gay propaganda that the religious right vomits into the public discourse, much of which John happily repeats.  Joe Stark was on Pat Robertson’s 700 club, mindlessly babbling that gays only live an average of 36 years.  Where the hell did he hear that claptrap, if it wasn’t John?  Even Paul Cameron isn’t claiming 36 years.  But John doesn’t seem to care where he gets his facts on homosexuality, as long as they’re sufficently ugly.

For months at least, if not longer, John was linking his LIA website to a group called The International Organization Of Heterosexual Rights, and using their bogus statistics to paint a picture of homosexuals and homosexuality that was relentlessly perverse and disgusting.  After community activists started pointing out how unChristianly it was to be linking to a hate site, John pulled the link.  But he kept their bogus fact sheet online.  So at least for a time (I haven’t been there recently), people visiting his site were still being given this crap from a hate group…only they weren’t being told who the source of this information was.  Dig it.  John responded to the accusation that he was spreading hate rhetoric, not by taking it down, but by making it harder for people to discover that the facts on his website were coming from a hate group.

I think part of the reason he does it is because he knows that it frightens parents, and that’s his last best source of clients now:  Helpless gay teens who cannot legally refuse his dangerous blend of anti-gay religiosity and junk psychology.  As more and more comes to light about the practices of these ex-gay ministries, and their spectacular rates of failure, fewer and fewer grown adults are checking in.  So the kids, who cannot legally refuse, are his last best source of income, which he needs to keep the operation afloat.  Never mind what it does to kids, to their parents, to the bond between parent and child…John’s on a mission from God, and Gods don’t feel shame.

Imagine a teen who is left handed.  Imagine they’re told that their left-handedness is unnatural, perverse, a God condemned abomination.  Imagine sending that kid to a place that claims to be able to treat left-handedness through prayer and counseling, and establishing a closer relationship to Jesus. They claim that left-handedness is a form of addiction, that using your left hand to do things like writing is no different from people who use their hands to rob, assault, and murder, people and animals.  Imagine that left-handed kid being forced to sit next to grown men who’ve used their hands to do all manner of cruel and perverse things to animals and humans alike, while the staff of this treatment facility is telling him, perhaps not so much in word but sure as hell in deed, that he’s no better then those men.  Someday, his desire to use his left hand instead of the God ordained right hand, will lead him into all manner of brutish, deviant, ugly acts.  

Imagine this kid trying desperately…trying, trying with all his heart and soul to pray away his left handedness.  But he can’t…he’s left handed. And every time he feels the urge to use his left hand, it only serves to remind him that he doesn’t love God enough, that he’s headed for the same life that all those robbers, and murderers live.  He’s going to become just like them one day

What does that sort of thing to to a kid?  Well we all know what it does to an adult because it happened.  Does the name Jack McIntyre ring any bells?  Or has John finally erased all memory of Love In Action’s bloody birth?  McIntyre was one of LIA’s first clients (I say client because he went in of his own accord…a choice of free will that neither Lance nor Zach nor any kid in the horrifically misnamed Refuge "program" are allowed)  A few months ago I finally stumbled on a copy of his suicide note.  You want to know what the horror is my friend?  Well…take a peek into the Pit then…

TO: Those left with the question, why did he do it?

I loved life and all that it had to offer to me each day.

I loved my job and my clients.

I loved my friends and thank God for each one of them.

I loved my little house and would not have wanted to live anywhere else.

All this looks like the perfect life. Yet, I must not let this shadow the problem that I have in my life. At one time, not to long ago, that was all that really mattered in my life. What pleased me and how it affected me. Now that I have turned my life over to the Lord and the changes came one by one, the above statements mean much more to me. I am pleased that I can say those statements with all the truth and honesty that is within me.

However, to make this short, I must confess that there were things in my life that I could not gain control, no matter how much I prayed and tried to avoid the temptation, I continually failed.

It is this constant failure that has made me make the decision to terminate my life here on earth. I do this with the complete understanding that life is not mine to take. I know that it is against the teachings of our Creator. No man is without sin, this I realise. I will cleanse myself of all sin as taught to me by His word. Yet, I must face my Lord with the sin of murder. I believe that Jesus died and paid the price for that sin too. I know that I shall have everlasting life with Him by departing this world now, no matter how much I love it, my friends, my family. If I remain it could possibly allow the devil the opportunity to lead me away from the Lord. I love life, but my love for the Lord is so much greater, the choice is simple.

I am not asking you to sanction my actions. That is not the purpose of my writing this at all. It is for the express purpose of allowing each one who will read this to know how I weighed things in my own mind. I don’t want you to think that, ‘I alone,’ should have been the perfect person, without sin. That would be ridiculous! It is the continuing lack of strength and/or obedience and/or will power to cast aside certain sins. To continually go before God and ask forgiveness and make promises you know you can’t keep is more than I can take. I feel it is making a mockery of God and all He stands for in my life.

Please know that I am extremely happy to be going to the Lord. He knows my heart and knows how much I love life and and all that it has to offer. But, He knows that I love Him more. That is why I believe that I will be with Him in Paradise.

I regret if I bring sorrow to those that are left behind. If you get your hearts in tune with the word of God you will be as happy about my ‘transfer’ as I am. I also hope that this answers sufficiently the question, why?

May God Have Mercy On My Soul.

A Brother & A Friend.

No.  May God have mercy on yours, because I don’t have any to spare for the likes of you.  Jack McIntyre killed himself, rather then make one more promise to God he knew he could not keep.  Bad enough John Smid is doing this to grown adults.  Now he’s dragging kids into his little psych room, where he’ll sit them down right next to grown men who have engaged in the most extreme sexual perversions imaginable, and let them know that they’re just like those men are, that their sexual orientation will lead them into all of that and worse.  This is what John is subjecting gay teenagers to.  He takes in kids who are more or less fine with their sexual orientation, or getting there, and puts his crowbar to their self esteem and tries systematically to utterly destroy their deepest sense of their inner selves, to make them see their sexual nature as ugly and perverse and foul, and that only a relationship with Jesus can save them from their homosexuality.  But it won’t.  They’re Gay.  What happens is that they loose their faith, and often enough, loose their family too.  But as long as the checks clear, John doesn’t seem to mind.

> I speak on behalf of LIA, not only because I believe in what they’re doing, but also
> because I care a great deal about John Smid and the LIA staff. 

If you care about any of them then you need to do whatever you can to convince them to stop tormenting gay people, and particularly gay teens who are content with who they are.  John is trying his best to gut their ability to ever feel good about themselves as gay people, and ever experience what it is to love and be loved, body and soul.  He is systematically trying to put as much fear and loathing into teens and adults of their sexual nature so that they’ll never be able to love wholeheartedly without feeling ashamed and dirty.  To assault someones sense of self to the point where they cannot see one of this life’s most wonderful, beautiful, amazing things as anything other then ugly and perverse is a crime against them of absolutely staggering magnitude.  To do that to children is a crime against humanity. 

> Zach Stark’s opinion of "reparative therapy," as it’s being dubbed, variegated a
> great deal after his experience at LIA.  "Love In Action has been misrepresented
> and what I have posted in my blogs has been taken out of perpective and context,"
> as Zach is quoted at 365gay.com on 8-1-05.  My question to Lance is this: What
> specific occurrences at LIA made your experience so horrendous?

As for Zach…I’m a little fuzzy about how you expect a kid who was forced into ex-gay therapy against his will, and who said in an update to that blog post you’re quoting from there that he could only post blogs his father approved of, to speak out publicly against his treatment.  Actually, I’m being sarcastic.  You know damn well he couldn’t.  Since he’s still underage, and cannot speak for himself without suffering whatever consequences his parents (you know…the ones who put him into LIA in the first place) can dictate, it’s unreasonable to expect him to get on a soapbox about his feelings toward LIA.  If I were you though, I would strongly suggest that his silence on the matter since those first couple of posts speaks volumes.

I was with Lance at a protest against reparative therapy in Silver Spring, Maryland.  John Smid was there too, but too cowardly to come out to the line and speak with Lance himself.  One of the other LIA staffers, a new guy, did come out because, as he said, he wanted to hear from Lance himself why he was upset about what LIA did to him.  Lance gave him an earful, the gist of which was that he resented being made to feel horrible about himself simply because he’s gay. 

John likes to boast that he brings families together.  What happened to Lance after he left LIA was horrible, and he finally had to move out because his mom had become so abusive.  The day he moved out, his mom cornered him and started beating the crap out of him.  He’s told this to reporters and gave a more detailed account to Morgan Jon Fox who is doing a documentary on the LIA protests.  Morgan and Lance let me sit in on the interview to take some photographs and Lance’s story nearly brought me to tears and I had to concentrate on what I was doing and I almost couldn’t.  John did nothing, nothing for that family, except tear it apart.  Oh…and he cashed the check.

You care about the LIA staff do you?  Then dig up whatever stunted whithered stump of a conscience any of them still have left in them, and make them see two things they really, really need to see.  First, that they are committing a monstrous assault on the human identity of the people they’re "treating" and their capacity to love and accept love from another.  Second, that John has no brakes, and one of these days he’s going to push a gay kid too far and then they’re be more then Jack McIntyre’s blood on the LIA account books, and if you think the judgment on LIA has been harsh up till now, you haven’t seen anything.  Yet.

by Bruce | Link | React!

September 21st, 2006

Another FRC Protest…At GW University This Saturday

Looks like this is going to be a protesting weekend…  This comes from another MySpace friend.  Please pass it around if you know anyone in the area.  I’ll be there.

by Bruce | Link | React! (1)

September 20th, 2006

Protest Against Conversion Therapy In Palm Springs

This is a friend’s MySpace bulletin. Daniel writes for Ex-Gay Watch which you should be reading regularly if you aren’t already. If you live in the Southern California area please consider adding your support to this protest on Saturday September 23rd in Palm Springs from 7-9am.

For those of you who don’t live in So Cal please pass this along to your friends in the area who may be interested.

Focus on the Family is having a one day workshop in a suburb of Palm Springs to promote their lies about "curing" gay people. The event is Saturday Sept 23rd and there’s a group of people from my website www.ExGayWatch.com who will be there protesting outside the host church from 7-9am which is when people arrive at the conference for check-in. Very few people who actually want to be "cured" attend, most tend to be parents who want to push their gay child into a conversion program. Signs I’m making up include:

exgay therapy is child abuse (most people attending the conference are parents of gay kids)

You are the parent of a gay christian

love needs no cure

caution junk science ahead

Don’t psychologically torture your child

Exodus deceives by omission

Focus: Stop antigay politics

don’t oppress us because you can’t reconcile your faith and sexuality

science and reality win out (the name of the exgay conferene is "love won out")

I reconciled my faith and sexuality

If you’re interested in joining us please email me at daniel@exgaywatch.com

-Dan

by Bruce | Link | React!

June 12th, 2006

On The D.L…

D.L Foster gets hysterical, so the ex-gay leadership doesn’t have to

Exgays huddled in the massive ghettos of Anytown, USA had better beware. The trains are rolling in. The furnaces have been tested and the ex-ex-gay, –XXtroopers– have their marching orders via the supreme commander of anti-exgay forces in America, Herr Wayne Besen.

…and so on and so forth. D.L.’s a tad pissed that Wayne has stepped up to the plate and created Truth Wins Out, to counter Love Won Out’s lies with some hard facts about the damage conversion therapy causes, and the political motivations of the leaders of the ex-gay movement.  With Truth Wins Out we’ll finally have an organization dedicated 100 percent to confronting ex-gay groups and their between the lines political message, that gay people don’t need rights, because gay people either don’t, or should not exist in the first place.  This is a good thing, and something the religious right cannot be happy about.  They’ve had a virtual free pass to lie through their teeth in the debate about conversion therapy in the popular media for decades now.  It seems now that those days are over, and if painting little Hitler mustaches on pictures of Wayne Besen, who is Jewish, is the best that louts like D.L. can do, then they have to know at some level that they’ve lost the fight. 

The problem I’ve always had with Goodwin’s Law is that it stifles discussion about fascism in an age when fascism is on the rise.  But D.L. makes a good case for it all the same, and you almost feel sorry for him.  Reading his post was like watching a raving street lunatic walking around buck naked and babbling to everyone about the aliens in his microwave oven.  You just want to scream for someone, anyone,  to please give the goddamned nutcase a bathrobe and a ride to his shrink.  Seriously.  Just because everyone can expose themselves to the whole goddamned world in their blogs, that doesn’t mean everyone should.

This is good:

Wayne Besen’s Final solution (WBFS) Truth Wins Out (TWO) is for all accounts exgaywatch with shark teeth. Along with a 10 point plan to expose, root out and if possible imprison former homosexuals and supporters, Besen seems to have finally found the trigger to his uncontrollable desire to rid the world of exgays. 

…root out and if possible imprison former homosexuals and supporters… That’s really rich, coming from someone allied with a political movement whose leadership has repeatedly called for the reestablishment of sodomy laws. But what really makes D.L.’s histrionics about trains and furnaces and prisons so pathetic, is that the bedrock theory of the ex-gay movement is that homosexuals should not exist. The very fact of our existence is proof that there is something wrong within us, and something wrong with the society we live in. If there’s any eliminationist thinking going on around here, it’s being preached from the pulpits of the religious right. And as for final solutions, the religious right already has theirs. They call it the Second Coming:

Addressing the group from the very spot where the conflict is to take place, Frazier turns to Revelation 19, which describes Christ going into battle. "It thrills my heart every time that I read these words," he says, then begins to read: "’And I saw heaven standing open.… And there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True. With justice he judges and makes war. His eyes are like blazing fire.’"

Frazier pauses to explain the text. "This doesn’t sound like compassionate Jesus," he says. "This doesn’t sound like the suffering servant of Isaiah 53. This is the Warrior King. He judges and makes war."

Frazier returns to the Scripture: "He has a name written on him that no one but he himself knows. He is dressed in a robe that is dipped in blood and his name is the word of God."

This is the moment the Rapturists eagerly await. The magnitude of death and destruction will make the Holocaust seem trivial. The battle finally begins.

Those who remain on earth are the unsaved, the left behind—many of them dissolute followers of the Antichrist, who is massing his army against Christ. Accompanying Christ into battle are the armies of heaven, riding white horses and dressed in fine linen.

"This is all of us," Frazier says.

Frazier points out that Christ does not need high-tech weaponry for this conflict. "’Out of his mouth comes a sharp sword,’ not a bunch of missiles and rockets," he says.

Once Christ joins the battle, both the Antichrist and the False Prophet are quickly captured and cast alive into a lake of fire burning with brimstone. Huge numbers of the Antichrist’s supporters are slain.

Meanwhile, an angel exhorts Christ, "Thrust in thy sickle, and reap." And so, Christ, sickle in hand, gathers "the vine of the earth."

Then, according to Revelation, "the earth was reaped." These four simple words signify the end of the world as we know it.

Grapes that are "fully ripe"—billions of people who have reached maturity but still reject the grace of God—are now cast "into the great winepress of the wrath of God." Here we have the origin of the phrase "the grapes of wrath." In an extraordinarily merciless and brutal act of justice, Christ crushes the so-called grapes of wrath, killing them. Then, Revelation says, blood flows out "of the winepress, even unto the horse bridles, by the space of a thousand and six hundred furlongs."

With its highly figurative language, Revelation is subject to profoundly differing interpretations. Nevertheless, LaHaye’s followers insist on its literal truth and accuracy, and they have gone to great lengths to calculate exactly what this passage of Revelation means.

As we walk down from the top of the hill of Megiddo, one of them looks out over the Jezreel Valley. "Can you imagine this entire valley filled with blood?" he asks. "That would be a 200-mile-long river of blood, four and a half feet deep. We’ve done the math. That’s the blood of as many as two and a half billion people."

We’ve done the math… How much raw, bleeding seething hatred do you have to have in your heart for your neighbors, when you can raptly, joyfully, eagerly imagine literally billions of them being crushed to death by Jesus Christ in a massive wine press, and calculate exactly how many of them have to go through it in order for their blood to fill the Jezreel valley to a depth of four and a half feet, the height of a horse’s bridle?

And when merely imagining the wholesale slaughter of the heathens it isn’t enough, now you can play the video game:

Imagine: you are a foot soldier in a paramilitary group whose purpose is to remake America as a Christian theocracy, and establish its worldly vision of the dominion of Christ over all aspects of life. You are issued high-tech military weaponry, and instructed to engage the infidel on the streets of New York City. You are on a mission – both a religious mission and a military mission — to convert or kill Catholics, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, gays, and anyone who advocates the separation of church and state – especially moderate, mainstream Christians. Your mission is "to conduct physical and spiritual warfare"; all who resist must be taken out with extreme prejudice. You have never felt so powerful, so driven by a purpose: you are 13 years old. You are playing a real-time strategy video game whose creators are linked to the empire of mega-church pastor Rick Warren, best selling author of The Purpose Driven Life.

Left Behind Games" has stated, on its website its hopes of getting a "suitable for ages 13 and up" or "suitable for ages 6 and up" rating for "Left Behind: Eternal Forces". Here’s a screen capture:

This game immerses children in present-day New York City — 500 square blocks, stretching from Wall Street to Chinatown, Greenwich Village, the United Nations headquarters, and Harlem. The game rewards children for how effectively they role play the killing of those who resist becoming a born again Christian.

Let it be said the game makers also give you the option of fighting on the side of the Antichrist, when you’ve had your fill of slaying heathens. By that time you could forgive a kid if they’re wondering if there’s any goddamned difference between being on the side of Christ the Savior, verses Satan the Despiser. Well…there is the fine linen.

Love God with all your heart, and love thy neighbor as thyself…and pass the ammunition! It’s not Wayne Besen who D.L. Foster and his kind have put the Hitler mustache on. It’s Jesus Christ.

[Edited a tad…] 

by Bruce | Link | React! (1)

June 11th, 2006

“Love!”, We Shouted…

I went to the protests yesterday, in front of Focus On My The Family’s so-called Love Won Out conference at Immanuel’s Church in Silver Spring Maryland, missing the D.C. Pride parade and block party, and what was even worse, Baltimore’s "Hon" Fest in Hampden.  But I had to go, and it was the more rewarding experience.  I met so many kind and decent people on the picket line, all ages, gay and straight, all deeply troubled by the lies being told about homosexuals and homosexuality inside the sanctuary of a church.

The first thing I noticed when I got there was how remote Immanuel’s Church actually is from the city.  If Focus is bringing its circus to Washington D.C., why put it inside a church, and not all that big of one, all the way out here in the outer suburbs?  I discussed it with some of the other protesters and came to think that they did it so that they wouldn’t be mobbed by an angry gay community.  The thought also struck me that it was why they held the event right on D.C. Pride day…to have it happening while the city’s gay community would be busy with something else.  It wasn’t until I got home that another reason occurred to me: a number of Focus supporters might not have wanted to go into the city for such an event.  For all its appeals to black ministers lately, the anti-gay religious right is largely a phenomena of the well to do suburbs…the vanguards of the white flight of the 60s and 70s.  They may draw support from the rural voters, they are perfectly willing to appeal to the prejudices of some in the African American community, but the anti-gay agenda is being driven largely by the rich white burbs.  Dobson had to know his base probably wouldn’t want to drive into a largely black, never mind largely democratic city for his conference.

Our picket line was not huge, but according to Steve Boese of A Tenable Belief, neither was the crowd inside the conference.  Steve actually went into the conference (a thing Wayne Besen is apparently no longer allowed to do) and sat through most of the presentations and his estimate of the crowd size was about 300 or so people, in a church that could hold about four-hundred or so.  Lance Carroll, who protested Love Won Out when it was in St. Louis, said they’d gotten over a thousand people at their conference in that city.  But the people who stood in front of Immanuel’s Church yesterday, and held their signs for the attendees to see, had strength in more then simple numbers: the strength that comes from truely loving your neighbor, and caring about what happens to them.

Lance Carroll, the 18 year old who was taken to Love In Action against his will when he was 17, was there, as was Wayne Besen.  During the afternoon picket Lance spied what he thought were a group of LIA staff members and walked across the street to talk to them.  Having been forced to walk the walk of shame last year on the LIA campus in Memphis, it had to have been an exhilarating feeling for him to be able to freely choose whether or not to talk to LIA staff.  As it turned out only one of them was from LIA, the others were Exodus.  The LIA guy was new, and hadn’t been at LIA when Lance was in the program.  He told Lance that he and John Smid were the only two people from LIA there at the conference.  They all chatted with Lance for a bit, and Lance asked the LIA guy to tell John he said ‘hi’.  Of course Smid never had spine enough to come out and talk to him.  But later the other guy from LIA come back out, by himself, and walked over to the picket line.  He told Lance he wanted to hear from him directly why he was so upset over how he was treated at LIA.  Lance gave him an earful.  It had to have felt good to be able to get that off of his chest to someone on LIA staff.

I met many good and decent people…did a little chauffeur work for Lance and Wayne and Steve, back and forth to the Metro station, and watched so many interesting moments as the people inside the Love Won Out conference encountered people outside their doors, who were bearing witness to actual human love and compassion.  I’ll be chewing on what I saw for weeks I’m sure.  In the meantime, here are a few photos…

God Loves You

I just have to mention this about the image above…these folks there at the head of the picket line had just broken into a chorus of Amazing Grace when I walked over and snapped this one.  Listening to their quiet, insistent voices singing that song just there, just then, nearly brought me to tears. 

 

Shame On You

 

Homosexuality Is Not

 

Jesus Loves

 

Lance Carroll being interviewed

 

Love Won Out

 

 

No Fixing Needed

 

Choose Acceptance

 

Wayne Besen and Lance Carroll

 More photos later…bandwidth permitted…

 

by Bruce | Link | React! (9)

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