The Beach On The Shore Of Forever
You know…people who take their own lives don’t do that because they’re cowards. They do it because it hurts too much, and they just want to make it stop…
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Archive for December, 2007December 22nd, 2007 The Beach On The Shore Of Forever You know…people who take their own lives don’t do that because they’re cowards. They do it because it hurts too much, and they just want to make it stop… How To Make Your Ex Bleed In One Easy Step… You want to make someone you dumped bleed? I mean, really, really bleed? I mean, Profusely…? Here’s my little tip: Don’t tell him about all the great sex you’re having now that he’s out of your life. Don’t bother telling him that your new boyfriend is so much better in the sack then he’ll ever be in his wildest wet dream fantasies. Don’t tell him how much your new boyfriend understands you so much better then he ever did. That’s amateur stuff. Really. You want to give him a hurt he’ll take to his grave, and hopefully sooner rather then later, just mention in passing some small bit of domesticity that you and your new main squeeze are currently enjoying…
STAB! SLASHHHHH! Bleed! BleedBleedBleedBleedBleedBleedBleedBleedBleedBleedBleedBleedBleedBleedBleed….
And, so on. If there wasn’t at least one major heart wound it wouldn’t be Christmas… December 21st, 2007 Road Trip! I’m taking a holiday break with my new car, and we’re driving south, hopefully to enjoy a warm beach somewhere before winter really sets in here in Baltimore. So posting will be lite and random, but may include some photos. Enjoy your holidays. Have fun…eat recklessly…make the ones you love smile… Morality I’m leaving soon for a holiday road trip to warmer climes, and I have one last huge post to make before I go. Consider it my end of year sermon. It’s about morality and what got me wanting to write about it was a post I saw the other day on Jim Burroway’s Box Turtle Bulletin about John Corvino’s new DVD recording of his “What’s Morally Wrong With Homosexuality?”, lecture. I’ve seen an excerpt of that lecture before it was yanked from YouTube and it looks to be a good one. But there is more to the moral question then the one he’s asking. There are three writers whose ideas influenced me greatly in my younger days. One respectable, and the other two not so much. The respectable one is Jacob Bronowski, a man whose work I still treasure. The two not so respectable are Robert Audrey and Ayn Rand, whose work I am sometimes embarrassed to admit reading. But I have to give them credit all the same for lighting a spark of understanding in me about human nature, society and morality at a point in my life when I needed it really badly. I found Audrey’s book, African Genesis in a corner of a warehouse I once worked in, wrinkled and discarded, and reading the first page of it…
…I had to take the thing home where I promptly devoured it. From Audry I gleaned the idea that the forces that move within our consciousness are understandable, and manageable, but only if we seriously study our evolutionary past, the better to understand the bedrock upon which the human identity was formed over vast, almost unthinkable time. Not to do so would be akin to trying to build a bridge with no understanding of the nature of the materials you’re constructing it from. Likewise, to construct workable human societies, and moral codes that actually and really benefit us, we need to undertake an almost brutal, unromantic, understanding of ourselves and that means looking also, to the past which brought us forth…
At about the same time, from Rand I got the another completely radical notion: that morality is the one thing you absolutely have to question. I had heard all my life that the force, the authority, of a moral code comes from its absoluteness, and that to question traditional morality was to destroy it, leaving humanity with no guide, no moral compass, nothing to judge right from wrong. Rand, for all her faults, and she had many profound ones, showed me that in fact the exact opposite was true. If morality is a code of conduct we accept in order to guide us toward that which is good for us, and away from that which is not, then it must be, it has to be, constantly questioned and evaluated…judged…against that purpose. Are we better off for abiding by this or that moral code…or are we worse off? Does a society that embraces this or that moral code prosper and thrive…do its people live in peace with one another…is their society stable…prosperous…peaceful…productive…? At best a morality that does none of this is irrelevant, at worst it actively diminishes our lives, degrades our existence. It is like teaching us to put poison in our food, and then telling us that our sickness is the result of not putting in enough poison. Our moral codes must be, have to be right, or they will destroy us. So as it turns out, morality is the one thing you absolutely positively cannot hold to be above questioning. It must withstand critical examination. Ask the children of Marx and Lenin what happens to a society whose model of human nature, and the moral code flowing from it, is flawed. Ask the shades that walk nights at Gettysburg. Collectivism? White Supremacy? What is a human being? What is human nature? What is good for us? What is harmful? You have to get those questions right….or you could find yourself living in a nightmare. A nightmare made all the worse for your not really understanding why it’s happening to you. Moral issues have preoccupied me for much of my life. I was raised in a very conservative Baptist household, with a strict sense of right and wrong always in the air. But there was serious conflict between the two sides of my family tree, and mom’s side, the Baptist side, was always telling me about how wicked dad’s side was, and warning me that I was likely to turn out just as badly as he did unless I embraced their teachings of biblical righteousness completely. I worried constantly over it when I was young. But I grew up to be a nature lover and science geek, and gradually felt myself pulled away from my church over its conception of God verses mine. I’d always loved the God I saw in nature, and never really felt comfortable with the God I read about in the bible, even while I was being constantly reassured that if I didn’t live by the bible I was doomed. By the time I entered my late teens, I’d left my church and had come finally to an honest understanding of my sexual orientation, and it seemed for a while that I was completely adrift in a world that science revealed to be so wonderful, so absolutely beautiful at a physical level, but which I could make almost no sense of at all at a moral one. Bronowski, Audrey and Rand gave me permission in those days to think about moral ideas objectively, in the same sense that I pondered the physical world around me as revealed by science, at a time in my life when I was beginning to despair that such a thing was even possible. So…by the time I got my first computer back in the mid-1980s, and started debating gay rights issues online, I had already been giving the moral side of the issue a lot of thought. By the time I got my first Internet account, and was able to access the free-for-all then known as Usenet, I’d already been handing out a lot of fire and brimstone about morality, and gay rights… Me, March 27, 1999, in yet another argument with a bigot, this one named Russ, on alt.politics.homosexuality…
…one of many such confrontations I enjoyed from 1993 to about 2002 when the quality of the bigotry began to go way down, and I began to get tired of hearing the same goddamned crap rhetoric over and over and over again. But I can’t tell you how many times over a period of almost a decade, I would start arguing from a moral standpoint with a bigot who would smirkingly assure me that "you don’t want to go there"…that is, since obviously homosexuality is by definition immoral, I, a gay man, didn’t want to be dragging questions of morality into the argument. To which my reply was usually along the lines of "Oh yes I do." And when I did, I was never one for mincing words about it. Because for all the bigots’ chanting about how they’re only acting out of the purest and most righteous of moral intentions, the fact is they are the ones who get cut up the most in a real argument over moral conduct… October 24, 1998…
Jim Burroway has a post up over at Box Turtle Bulletin, about John Corvino’s new DVD recording of his “What’s Morally Wrong With Homosexuality?”, lecture he’s been giving all over the country since 1992. Like Burroway, I’m glad to see someone directly confronting, at least one half of the moral issue that bigots keep claiming for their own…
Yes. It is. But there’s another side to this coin, and it’s one that needs tackling just as much. Here Burroway gives it a glancing blow…
Er…no. Let’s why don’t we, stare that inconsistency in the face and call it for what it is. And no…it’s not hypocrisy, any more then Paul Cameron’s using his data one way when it suits him, and another when it doesn’t is hypocrisy. The word we’re looking for here is Mendacity. How often, how many times, do we have to see this out of both sides of their mouths behavior in anti-gay demagogues before we’re allowed to call it what it is? They’re not citing the bible, they’re using it like a condom. Jesus isn’t their lord and savior, he’s their excuse, their scapegoat, nailed to a cross, dying every hour of every day for their cheapshit sins, so they won’t have to look them in the face, and from there to the horrific landscape of human suffering all around them, that has their name written on every heartbroken acre of it. And never mind the two-faced way they proof text the bible. A walk through the open sewer most of them call a conscience ought to be enough to disabuse anyone of the notion that moral righteousness has anything whatsoever to do with the anti-gay agenda. Here’s the current darling of the religious right, Huckabee on homosexuality, from a 1992 questionnaire…
Aberrant? Aberrant…did he say…? Aberrant like this…?
And then there’s Huckabee’s pardoning of convicted serial rapist and murderer Wayne Dumond, after the republican noise machine spun the tale that since one of his victims was a distant relative of Bill Clinton,
It should make anyone with a shred of decency left alive within them want to vomit every time one of these gutter crawling creeps starts mouthing off about morality. Over and over again you see it…the rote declarations of faith, followed by the cheapshit lying, the bellicose digging in of heels rather when their own pathetic failures of moral character are pointed out, and more and more lately, the squalid details of their own personal lives rushing out like an overflowing sewer. Why do they single out homosexuals? Because they need someone to point their fingers at, someone to take the spotlight away from their own failed inner character, someone to distract everyone else from the stench of their own rotten conscience, someone to die for their sins, so they won’t have to take responsibility for the mess they’ve made of their own lives, and everyone else’s within arm’s reach. We have to bleed, so they can be righteous. It’s good to see attention being given to the moral issue at the heart of the gay rights struggle. But the morality of homosexuality is only one part of that. The morality of those who would keep us second class citizens, outcast and vulnerable, is another. They are taking what should be one of this life’s most perfect joys, that of finding that intimate other, falling in love, body and soul with them, and making a life together, and they are twisting a knife in it, so that they can feel righteous. There is nothing moral about that. If that’s not sin, then the word has no meaning. The argument I frequently hear is that, well, hurtful as their behavior is toward us, they do it in good faith. No. The ones who cut us through simple, mistaken ignorance don’t make a big issue out of it. They’re not on a crusade. Maybe they don’t have a gay family member, or at any rate one that’s out to them. Maybe they haven’t had the opportunity for their comfortable moral stereotypes about homosexuality to be challenged. We all have some crap in our heads, some ignorant or foolish beliefs that in retrospect make you wonder what you were ever thinking to believe such a thing. The honest person, the moral person, when confronted by a falsehood, by something patently wrong, accepts that they were wrong and acts accordingly. It’s not about being an uptight self righteous prick either. As H.L. Mencken once said, "The most expensive thing on this earth is to believe in something that is palpably not true." You don’t embrace reality to put yourself up on a pedestal, you do it because you don’t want reality to smack you upside the head. But that’s what morality is for! No. The crusaders are Not acting in good faith, and their crusade is as immoral as they come, and it’s long since time that they got that fact pointed out to them by people who are willing to stand up to their plastic self-serving self righteousness and call it for what it is. A lie. A cheat. A fraud. They deliberately, willfully, hurt innocent people not out of any sense of doing good, but in order to polish their own shit stained vanity. It is obscene, positively obscene, how long decent, good-hearted gay and lesbian people have been cowed by moral runts who have been doing nothing more righteous then putting a knife into their hearts as a way of buying their own self-respect. We are not the ones who have to be afraid of arguments over the morality of our conduct. They are. Morality, the hard work of learning the difference between right and wrong across the ages, is a powerful force in the human story. It is a tool that guides us to the good, and away from the bad. It is a tool that our enemies renounced long ago because it does not validate their conceits, their evasions, their bigotries. And every time they open their mouths with lies about us that they know damn well are lies, they tell us so. It is long past time to look that fact squarely in the face and acknowledge it. At some point in their lives, reality collided with their prejudices and instead of doing the moral thing, they sold out. And now morality turns on them, like one of those weapons in fantasy novels, possessed by the spirits of the old warriors who once bore it. Mike Huckabee. Larry Craig. Ted Haggard. David Vitter. And all the other right wing moralists who have been caught frolicking in the gutter recently. The more they yap, yap, yap about morality, the more you see how far away from it they’re running. We don’t have to run from it. There is nothing wrong with us. There was never anything wrong with us. We have been taught for so long, for so very, very long, to hate ourselves, to be ashamed, so that a bunch of moral runts would have someone else to point their fingers at, someone else to bear the burden of shame that they’ve been evading all their lives. You can’t buy a decent, honest, moral life second hand. You can’t beg, borrow or steal it from your neighbor. Our hearts are not their stepping stones to heaven. Our enemies threw morality away, because they couldn’t get it cheap. Pick it up. You can afford it more then you know. The love of same sex lovers, our moments spent in simple straightforward, honest human desire and affection, are genuine and real and righteous and noble and beautiful, and that is why they hate us. Every time you take your lover’s hand and offer them nothing more or less then what you have, what you are, the best within you, what our enemies see in that is everything they could have had in their own lives, and every noble thing they could have become, that they are not, and that is why they hate us. Every time you smile into your lover’s eyes, rather then turn away in shame, you win the moral argument. December 20th, 2007 The End Of The World Via Slog… Geeze…if you want to see what the end of the world would look like…the island of “Gunkanjima” is probably the place to go…
Wow. Check out the photos. Man…my cameras and I could have a grand old time there… And Now…A Word From Our Sponsor… Not really…I support this web site entirely on my own dime. But you had to see this coming… Yes…I’m posting a Mercedes ad here. But it’s so darn cute…I just had to. I need to find someone to translate that verbiage at the end for me. I can decipher “The E Class” and that’s about it. But notice…it’s a German ad, and yet the song is sung in English. December 19th, 2007 The Superior Quality Of British Snark Via Brad DeLong…
The entire Gideon Rachman snark is Here. December 18th, 2007 A Christmas Lostling I keep looking for something in the little stack of envelops that greats me at the door when I get home from work. A pleasant little surprise from warmer climes, like the one I got last December that put a smile on my face that lasted well into the New Year. I got three Christmas cards in the mail today. One of them was for the previous occupants of this house. I’ve owned Casa del Garrett for just over seven years now and I occasionally still get mail for them. But this card was from an address I’d never seen before in their mail, so I’m guessing it’s from someone they haven’t heard from in a while. Maybe someone who lost touch and, after searching around online, found an old address they decided to give a try. I’ll put it back in the mail stream tomorrow with a note about the old owners new address, and hopefully the little card will find its way to the hands it seeks to open it. December 17th, 2007 “It’s Even Better When You Help…” Via Spiegel online…
Life is too short to stay hung up on indifferent lovers. On the other hand…never underestimate the power of love…
Okay…it’s the hopeless romantic in me…but there’s a story somewhere here to be written about a little swan who fell in love with a lifeless hunk of plastic and wood that cold and indifferent fate had cruelly made to resemble her soulmate…and how she nonetheless loved it so wholeheartedly that a spirit began to take root and grow within that drifting lifeless hunk of plastic and wood…until one day it awakened…and embodied as a real swan. Of course that’s where the new swan came from…
Perhaps… Just saying… December 16th, 2007 Photo Gallery Number Four Hey guys…let’s all go on a road trip…!
Photo Gallery Number Four, Road Trip, now available for your viewing pleasure in the Photo Gallery. Also Gallery One, Philadelphia 2004 and Two, Rehoboth Beach 2007 are back up, and Three, The Shadows and Light Sessions, is still there. I have enough space on the web now that I think I can just keep these galleries online as I keep putting them up, so that people can keep wandering through. When I get back from my own little holiday road trip later this month, I’m going to start making a push to try and sell some artwork to help raise funds for Morgan Jon Fox’s documentary, This Is What Love In Action Looks Like. I’ll likely also be offering to sell high resolution signed 11 x 17 prints from any of my photo galleries. 100 percent of the proceeds will go to Morgan to help him finish his documentary. More on that next month…
December 15th, 2007 It Isn’t That I Just Need To Believe In Myself… Somewhere in this little fragment of a conversation I had last night, is the central difficulty in my life, staring back at me…
December 14th, 2007 Those More Godly And Biblical Nigerians… Via Slog… Notes from Bishop Akinola’s more righteous and godly Nigeria…
This is the country that’s posturing to the world about being more godly and righteous then those liberal American Episcopalians who are rewriting the bible to excuse sexual deviancy. This is what the "conservative" American Episcopalian churches that are aligning themselves with Akinola are buying into so they don’t have to treat their homosexual neighbors as anything other then human garbage. Without a doubt it’s what the billionaire Ahmanson wants the Anglican Church he’s paying for to look like. Ahmanson you may recall, is the billionaire "former" Christian Reconstuctionist who once said that stoning homosexuals to death was all part of God’s plan. When you start inciting mob religious passions against your neighbors you are walking down a path that leads right into the Pit and what you need to understand about that is that the fall has no speed limit, and there is no bottom to stop you. It just gets worse and worse and worse until every last shred of human nobility and decency is gone and all that is left is the jungle and screams in the night.
The righteous men of god in Nigeria are killing children now as witches. If you thought all that would stop with the sinful wicked devil possessed homosexuals you have never opened a book of human history. There’s a reason why Jesus said the most important thing after loving God, is loving your neighbor. December 13th, 2007 Life’s Little Twists And Turns So one of my chain smoking friends is quitting now…and I’m back to my cigars all of a sudden. Ah well… Seasonal stress is coming early. Wishing will make it so No Vera…it doesn’t. Not at all.
Weather Report, For My Family In California Where They Don’t Have “Weather” Yes, yes…it looks like New England is getting clobbered right now. Yesterday NOAA was calling for freezing rain this morning here in Baltimore, but the freeze line had apparently moved north by late last night and right now we’re only getting our usual miserable cold wet drizzle. Good thing it’s not cold enough for snow though, or we’d be getting socked in too. P.S.: I hear you had a very severe cold snap out there recently. Temperatures plummeted all the way down to…thirty-eight, was it? It must have been awful having to…you know…put on a jacket or something… Not Sure Exactly Why…But This Made Me Smile…
Visualizing this made me smile. It gave me the warm fuzzies somehow. The creator of All That Is embodies one day as a refrigerator and washes ashore on some lost and out of the way island, where it’s venerated by the natives there…and by them alone. What a completely goofy…and yet evocative image that is… |
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