Note To Self: There are certain constants in your life that you need to pay attention to.  Never mind why they’re constants.  You know from past experience what reliably happens when you do certain things.  So it makes sense not to do those things.  Right?

For instance: working for insurance companies.  Every insurance company job you’ve ever worked became a catastrophe within a couple weeks.  Four different companies…four different and diverse sets of managers…and yet the same result.  And within weeks.  Wait…one of them didn’t even make it a week. 

No…you don’t really understand why that is…you have a really great resume from your other employers…lots of very nice letters of recomendation there.  But hey…physicists are still arguing about why gravity works too and they still know exactly How it works.  You know how this works: you and insurance companies just don’t mix.  When seeking employment, stay the hell away from them.

Here’s another constant in your life you need to pay attention to:  You have a string of heart wreaks that have “short and cute” written all over them.  The epitome of that was Dale.  You remember Dale don’t you?  Still hurts too doesn’t it?  Yeah…I thought so.  Gosh he was cute wasn’t he?  And a self-centered, devious little weasel too.  And so was Raymond.  And Twan.  And Trey.  See a pattern here?  Other kinds of guys have cut wounds into your heart, sure.  But they didn’t mean to.  They really cared how you felt.  Only the short and cute ones made you feel stupid afterward.

So…listen…this new guy who moved in down the block from you…  He’s got a really nice smile for you and seems like a really nice guy and everything…  But before you get yourself all wrapped around another Dale, I have a suggestion: hit yourself over the head with something hard.

[Edited a tad…]