She’s gone…I know she’s gone.   But some reflex keeps me looking for her at the door whenever I open it first thing in the morning.   She’d hear the key in the deadbolt turn and hop off the bed I put out for her, or the chair or the side table if that’s where she happened to be, and was right there against the lower left corner of the door where it opened, telling me it was time for breakfast.   I used to peek out the front window to see where she was stationed in the morning…she would always be either watching the street or one of the neighbors…and gently turn the key to see if I could get it unlocked before she knew it.   I never did.   The instant it made the slightest noise her head would turn and the game was up.

She’s not there at the door now, she’ll never be there again, but some reflex keeps expecting to see her initially and I glance there.   And then it figures it out.