Owww…The Stupid…It Hurts….!

Man in wig, skirt spurs Cranbrook lockdown

Only a day after students at Virginia Tech were locked in classrooms as a gunman killed 32 of their classmates, Cranbrook Schools in Bloomfield Hills went into lockdown Monday morning after parents reported seeing a suspicious man dressed as a woman near a campus bus stop.

Police described a white male about 6 feet tall, wearing a gray or blond wig, lipstick, a flowered skirt, a dark coat and high heels.

Parents first spotted the man standing near the Kingswood School parking lot around 7:50 a.m., school officials said.

"He was walking up the lot toward Kingswood School," said Lt. Paul Myszenski with the Bloomfield Hills Department of Public Safety.

While he was not observed doing anything illegal, authorities decided to lock down schools after 8 a.m. Students were told to sit in their classrooms with lights off as police did a room-byroom search.

Pam Friedman, a parent from West Bloomfield Township, was attending a mothers’ council meeting with Robin Rosenbaum and Elaine Robins, also of West Bloomfield, when the building they were in – the Institute of Science – was also locked down.

Friedman was able to speak with her son, Jake, a 17-year-old junior, by cellphone, who informed his mother he was OK.

"I wasn’t nervous at all after I talked with him," Friedman said.

DeAnn Ervin of Birmingham – whose 12-year-old daughter, Noa, attends Kingswood School – learned of the lockdown when other mothers began calling her.

Lockdowns aren’t that unusual, she said. The school practices at least twice a year.

Ervin was confident the school would protect her daughter. "They communicate a lot with us," she said. "I was more worried about her emotional health than physical."

Cranbrook’s department of public safety took part in the room-by-room search at Kingswood. No one was arrested.

Officials also checked the grounds "where people can hide," said Thomas Sias, the school’s director of public safety, but were unable to find the man.

"The problem is you have seconds to react," Sias said. "It’s a rather daunting task to check it all."

Sias praised the students who were locked in classrooms for about 30 minutes. "When we were walking the halls, you could hear a pin drop," he said.

At 9:20 a.m., the lockdown was lifted, and by 9:30 a.m., buses packed with students were rolling through the campus.

In other news, schools all across Lower Fuckingnuts County were in a state of lockdown after a woman with a crew cut was seen wearing a leather jacket and driving a Harley-Davidson low rider down Main Street…