If the day ever comes that I start thinking about checking myself into an ex-gay ministry, it’ll be headlines like this that talk me out of it…

Ex-Wife Accused of Torching Bison Head

A southwest Idaho woman accused of setting fire to a mounted bison head at her ex-husband’s home faces arson charges. Police arrested Ryann Jean Stafford, 26, Thursday on a charge of third-degree arson, a felony.

Investigators said Stafford and her former spouse got into an argument at his home. But after he left the house, police said Stafford began throwing objects and then used a lighter to ignite the mounted head.

I’m sitting here wondering if the Bison head was there when she married him.  Did he put it there to spite her?  To drive her crazy?  Hey honey…you ever notice how the bison’s eyes seem to follow you around the room…?  Did he give it to her as a gift and she filed for divorce immediately thereafter?  Was it a prized memento from their honeymoon?  Were they fighting over who gets it in the settlement?  Did he name it after her?  After her mother? 

Note to self:  Marital bliss is probably not enhanced by tacking large dead animal heads to the wall.  On the other hand, I used to know a gay couple who had a buffalo hide rug and they said it was absolutely their favorite thing to have sex on.