This year, I propose having a pre-game celebration.   Jim Burroway posted this today on Box Turtle Bulletin and it added some weight to my Valentine’s Day thoughts lately…

New York Times Magazine Publishes “What It Means To Be A Homosexual”: 1971. The Harper’s October 1970 cover screed by Joseph Epstein — the one where he called gay people “an affront to our rationality” and were “condemned to a state of permanent niggerdom among men” — generated an outpouring of anger in the gay community, which resulted in a protest inside the offices of Harper’s (see Oct 27). Gay activists demanded another article to give the gay community equal exposure, but the Harper’s refused the request. Its editors also refused to apologize. The outrageous insults in the piece become something of a second, lesser Stonewall in the way it brought out even more gays and lesbians who decided it was time to become more involved publicly.

Among them was Merle Miller, a former editor at Harper’s who was also a novelist and biographer…

You should go read the whole thing…Jim’s “Today In History” posts are worth reading every day.   But this one helped remind me of the times I grew up and passed through adolescence in.   That time when we are discovering first the first time, what desire and love are all about.   It should be the most magical, wonderful passage in our lives, but for some of us, condemned to a state of permanent niggerdom it was made into a nightmare.   More so for others than for me, thankfully, or I might not even be here now to type all this.   But the atmosphere of hatred and contempt I grew up within did its job on me too.   In 1971, the year before I graduated from high school, the year I experienced my first crush, Joseph Epstein wrote, “If I had the power to do so, I would wish homosexuality off the face of the earth.” He couldn’t of course, but there was always the next best thing. You could make sure whenever it was in your power to do so, that a gay person never had that chance to know what it was to love, and be loved wholeheartedly in return.

Without a doubt Epstein did just that whenever he got the chance.   His howl against the homosexual in that Harper’s article almost certainly became a dagger in the the hopes and dreams of young gay men and women back then, reassuring parents, teachers, clergy that it was no sin to put a knife in the hearts of teenagers in love, that if they were condemned to live their one life in loneliness and heartache that was merely the Curse Of Homosexuality, not their own bar stool arrogance and cheapshit prejudices that did it to them.   Bobby and Johnny are getting just a little too friendly aren’t they…let’s pack them off to the psychiatrist quickly now…or to some nice church camp somewhere far away, where they can pray their unspeakable sin away…

Ah…Valentine’s Day…when all the lonely hearts ponder writing new songs about the one that did them wrong.   I have a different thing in mind.   How about stories of that which might have been, but for the cheapshit prejudices of the world we were thrown into.   I have a few stories of my own to tell.   Pull up a chair.   Sit a spell.   Love is in the air.   Let me pour you a drink.   There is a box of Valentine’s Day candy over there on the table, pieces of the moon rattling hollowly inside…angry, angry candy…

[Edited a tad…]

Reminded this morning about the writer Martin Woodhouse, who with his brother Hugh wrote some of my favorite episodes of Supercar, and did many episodes of The Avengers.   I recalled seeing this short story of his online and liked it very much. Some people are just natural story tellers.   It’s available free online at the link below.   You should read it.   It is a swell little story about various kinds of love…perfect for Valentine’s Day!

Running Down The Beacon

A (short) story about various kinds of love – by Martin Woodhouse

Must be the smell of…silicone….

Making silicone soulmates

The Dollpark company in northern Germany is where men can have all their fantasies fulfilled – as long as they’re not too fussy about having a partner with fascinating conversation, more than one facial expression, or a pulse.

But isn’t love never having to say you’re fussy?   There is a lid for every pot, and of course the German ones are engineered like no other!

Yes!   The season of love is at hand!   Which means it’s getting near time for another Valentine’s Day Poster Contest!   Perhaps this year I’ll share the worthy entries on Facebook, and the theme can be Love Is Never Having To Say You’re Sorry For Selling Your Friend’s Private Data.

We promise this year to announce the start of the contest before the deadline for submitting an entry passes! This time will be different. We’ll make it work.

What We Talk About When We’re Dying

Kerry Egan, a hospice chaplain, admits that, much of the time, it’s not God:

Mostly, they talk about their families: about their mothers and fathers, their sons and daughters. They talk about the love they felt, and the love they gave.   Often they talk about love they did not receive, or the love they did not know how to offer, the love they withheld, or maybe never felt for the ones they should have loved unconditionally…

Why is it you might wonder, that thoughts of death and darkness seem to prevail at this time of year. The bitter eternal chill of wintertime?   The deathly silence of the long dark nights? Hahahahaha… No, silly. This is the time of year in which we pause before the graveyard of life’s most magical dream to try once more in abject futility to bury it once and for all. Valentine’s Day is coming!

The signs are Everywhere!

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Don’t they Always?   Well I’m here to tell you, Nothing says Love more then a gift of free chocolates, unless its the text message from your soulmate informing you that they’re seeing someone else now, and would greatly appreciate it if you stopped leaving messages on their answering machine.

Will there be a Fifth Annual Casa del Garrett Valentine’s Day Poster Contest this year?   Well…I don’t know…   I mean…you’re very nice.   But…let’s think about it before we take it to the next level.   I’ll call you sometime.

Adios…Valentine’s Day 2010!     It was a blast.   Really.   But we’ve both changed.     We need some distance.   It’s not you, it’s me.   Let’s always stay friends.

Well it’s almost time to wrap up this year’s contest!   And I have to say, this year’s batch of embarrassingly sincere losers was the best ever.   A sentiment that probably makes our year one and year two losers feel even more left in the dust.   Every Valentine’s Day is a little more special then the last one, for that very reason.

But we have one last batch of also-rans to celebrate here…

Let’s all give this year’s losers a drink and some helpful advice about getting out more often and meeting people!

Coming next…the Winner!   You might want to look away…

Here’s another batch of worthy hopefuls whose dream of winning the big prize were torn to bits by cruel reality.   What would Valentine’s Day be without that?   Lots and lots of it in fact…

We have a couple more worthy contestants to keep twisting slowly, slowly in the wind a little while longer.     But isn’t that desperately remote, almost laughable chance of success worth it?     Who knows…maybe…just maybe…

Hahahaha…   No.   But like lemmings to a cliff they will try.   And what would Valentine’s Day be without them?

Well right off the bat we have four very worthy entries for our contest!   These entries would have easily won top honors hadn’t there been others that completely dashed their hopes of glory and left them mere broken shells of their former selves.   But isn’t that what Valentine’s Day is all about?

Let’s all give these hopeful loosers a friendly pat on the back and a very brief but sincere look of understanding…

More hopeful dreams will be dashed on the rocky shore of cold reality tomorrow…but we’ll keep them on the hook for a while longer, tossing and turning all night long hoping…hoping…knowing how futile their quest ultimately is, yet unable to completely let go of that little sliver of ridiculously wishful thinking.   There is simply no other holiday in the calendar that speaks more about the human heart then Valentine’s Day.   Unless it’s National Cut Off The Gas And Electricity To The Unemployed When The Temperature Is 20 Below Day.

And then…the winner gets the Valentine’s Day heart!

I was seriously considering skipping this year’s contest, on the basis that unfulfilled expectations are part of the fun too.   Then a friend sent this extremely helpful link along…

What would Valentine’s Day be without an opportunity to mention the three-letter word that gets everyone so riled up? Yes, you guessed it–I’m talking about at a little S-E-X. So, let’s chat, shall we? Beyond being just one-heck-of-good-time, medical studies report that an active sex life contributes to a longer and more fulfilling life…

Well who needs a longer and more fulfilling life when you can join in the fun of The Third Annual Casa del Garrett Valentine’s Day Poster Contest!!!

Er…except you can’t.   See…the deadline for new entries has already passed.   Sorry.   But that feeling of being left out of all the fun is actually Part Of The FUN!

Let’s start the fun by reviewing some worthy entries from past contests.   These contestants gave it their all…which makes their failure to win the Big Prize its own very special Valentine’s Day win!

Here’s a couple fabulous losers from our First Annual Poster Contest…

And here’s some wonderful losers from the Second Annual Contest…

These exceptionally worthy contestants all received our very special Sorry But Your Best Is Not Good Enough consolation prize which can be redeemed at last call in any bar on Valentine’s Day for a pat on the back and an understanding look.

Our winners though, like the Ghost Of Christmas Yet To Come, were truly one with the spirit of the holiday.   Here’s our First Annual first place Winner!

Our Second Annual Contest resulted in a tie.   Here’s one of the lucky winners…

This year’s crop of entries is clearly going to have to work hard to achieve glory.   They are going to have to give it everything they’ve got and then some…only to fail miserably after having come oh-so-close.   How many dazzlingly inevitable crashes and burns will we enjoy this year?   I swear, this is better then watching democrats trying to pass a health care bill.     So tomorrow…let the bleeding begin!