35 Things You’d Never Want to Answer
1. Have you ever been questioned by the cops?
Yes. As a witness a bunch of times. Once as an arrestee. I was arrested, with a friend, for discharging a firearm inside the urban limits. But we weren’t actually inside the urban limits and the charges were dropped. And we got our rifles back too.
2. Do you close your eyes on roller coasters?
I don’t ride roller coasters. My life is a roller coaster. If I ever rode a roller coaster, I would not close my eyes. Life has taught me not to do that.
3. When’s the last time you’ve been sledding?
Nine…I think. On the hill behind our apartment complex.
4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
Rather not alone. Have most of my life though.
5. Do you believe in ghosts?
No. But then I’ve never seen one. I’ve looked in a bunch of places and waited around but never seen any. What is a ghost anyway? If you’re still aware, but in another state of being, are you really dead? Life after death is a wierd self contradicting concept. Either you are dead or you’re not.
6. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
Sure looks like it to me.
7. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
Johnny Depp or Orlando Bloom?
8. Can you honestly say you know ANYTHING about politics?
Well…yes actually. Growing up in the Washington D.C. area makes you at least a little aware of it.
9. How do you feel about your last ex?
Sad. Very sad.
10. Do you like to cuddle?
Yes. And…neck. And stroll down a beach holding hands. And making my boyfriend smile. And thinking about him while drawing his name in my sketchbook. And all that icky romantic stuff. Yes.
11. If you’re driving in the middle of the night, and no one is in sight, would you speed?
Never in a residential area, and not if I can’t brake in the distance my headlights reach. At night, a lot of things might not be in sight, that are in the path of your front bumper all the same, or are about to be.
12. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
Yeah. And they still don’t.
13. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees
Yankees. Just because they piss everyone off and I would rather watch pill commercials then sports. Go Yankees.
14. How often do you remember your dreams?
I remember them all just after I wake up. But if I don’t focus my thoughts on any of them I will forget them completely after about an hour or so. I keep a dream notepad next to my bed. Dreams are the best part of sleeping. Even nightmares are interesting sometimes. When they’re over.
15. Can you name 5 songs by The Beatles?
I Want To Hold Your Hand
She Loves You
Please, Please Me
Paperback Writer
You Know My Name, Look Up The Number
16. What’s the one thing on your mind?
Being single.
17. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Uhm…no. I believe in Oh My God Look At Him He’s So Fucking Beautiful at first sight though.
18. What talent do you wish you had?
I wish I could play an instrument. But no…I just can’t keep a beat to save my life.
19. What do you wear to bed?
My day, usually. Probably why I have such a problem with insomnia.
20. Have you ever been caught stealing?
I. Don’t. Steal.
21. Rock or Rap?
Rock.
22. If you could be seen with one famous person, who would it be?
Being seen with is nothing. I would like to talk for a while with Walter Cronkite, Neal Armstrong, Arthur C. Clarke…uhm…dang…so many of my childhood heros are dead now…
23. Do you know anyone in jail?
Not…currently.
24. Have you ever sung in front of the mirror?
Yes. Still didn’t sound any better.
25. What food do you find disgusting?
Guacamole. Sushi. Cottage Cheese. Oysters. Prunes. Tofu. Skim Milk. Beer.
26. Did you ever play, "I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours?"
Sure. Then group showers in gym class kinda made it pointless.
27. Who is your biggest fan?
I have friends, not fans.
28. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew?
Yes. Done it all my life. I get outraged, I get angry, and I remember all the people in my life who stood up for me.
29. If you could live anywhere, where would you live?
Oceano, California for half the year. Manhattan the other half.
30. If you could be any animal what would you be?
See…I take questions like this too literally. I don’t want to give up my human brain. Even to fly. But it would probably be some sort of bird. An owl most likely.
31. Your best quality?
All my qualities play off each other so I don’t think there is a "best".
The part of me I would least want to give up is my curiosity.
32. Best feature?
Don’t know. Nobody’s ever told me stuff like that.
33. When was the last time you smoked pot?
I…forget. No…seriously. Really.
34. Have you ever spent the night with a person of the opposite sex?
Is this a question about sex? Why the evasiveness? How about "Have you ever been in the sack with a person of the opposite sex and you both had sex that was so hot you steamed the windows and peeled the paint off the walls and deep cleaned that old throw rug at the foot of the bed you were going to throw out one of these days and when neither one of you could so much as move a muscle anymore you went to sleep and then it was the next morning"? But no…we have to be coy about it don’t we? Look…this isn’t vacation bible school, it’s MySpace. Your parents are aghast, James Dobson is having fits, your local TV Action News team is running an investigative report and congress is holding hearings and if we don’t give them at least a five bleeding ulcers over what we’re all up to in here Every Fucking Day Of The Week then we’re just not doing our jobs in here. So if you’ve got a question for me about sex, then just friggin’ ask it…okay?
Well…anyway…the answer is ‘no’.
35. Do you miss high school?
I miss the scene me and my friends had back then. I miss it very much. I miss some of my teachers. A few of them were very good to me. They not only taught me, they stoked the hunger to learn in me. I miss them very much. But life goes on…
See…I gave you answers.
[Edited number 2 a tad…]
