I’m reading this Fark.Com article about a woman who was almost tossed off a Southwestern Airlines flight because she was dressed a tad too provocatively for one of the crew…which links to this column in the San Diego Union-Tribune …

After the plane filled, and the flight attendants began their safety spiel, Ebbert was asked to step off the plane by a customer service supervisor, identified by the airline only as “Keith.”

They walked out onto the jet bridge, where Keith told Ebbert her clothing was inappropriate and asked her to change. She explained she was flying to Tucson for only a few hours and had brought no luggage.

“I asked him what part of my outfit was offensive,” she said. “The shirt? The skirt? And he said, ‘The whole thing.’ ”

Keith asked her to go home, change and take a later flight. She refused, citing her appointment. The plane was ready to leave, so Keith relented. He had her pull up her tank top a bit, pull down her skirt a bit, and return to her seat.

There is a photo of the women to go with the column, and I’m a tad amazed there was any fuss at all made over what the lady was wearing.  It’s not like Southwest is the Queen Mary of airlines where formal attire may be required.  It’s the goddamned Greyhound Bus line of air travel.  You want a better class of clientèle, raise your prices, make your seats bigger, serve champaign and compete for the first class crowd.  Otherwise, don’t complain if your passengers are dressed for shopping for the blue light special at Target, let alone dining at Hooters (the lady in question was a Hooters waitress, but she was not in uniform.  And considering what Stewardesses in the old Pacific Southwest Airlines company used to wear not all that long ago, I don’t see that they need to be bellyaching about their passengers wearing miniskirts).

What interested me was that the discussion on Fark.Com immediately focused on the woman’s looks, as being a factor in whether or not her dress was appropriate.  It reminded me of a Scott Adams cartoon in Dogbert’s Clues For The Clueless.  Titled "Public Displays Of Affection", it begins with Dogbert saying that, "depending on how attractive you are, people will experience varying levels of revulsion at your PDA…"  What follows are three panels of a little old granny lady beholding various couples smooching.  She looks on fondly while the beautiful couple embrace, scolds the average looking couple for getting too close, and tries to whack the ugly couple over their heads with her cane for even considering a kiss in public.

Which is to say, beauty has its own rules.  Sometimes that gets really annoying, hence the popularity of blond jokes.  And sure enough, someone in that thread posted a joke about a blond getting on an airplane. 

When I first started hearing them, ages ago, I thought blond jokes were a tad cruel and a bit misogynist.  But I soon realized that, with very little effort, you can translate blond jokes into Twink jokes…

A twink gets on an airplane and immediately sits down in the first class section.  A stewardess asks to see his ticket and it’s a coach ticket so she tells him that he has to go back and sit in coach.

The twink winks at her and says "No.  I’m young, I’m hot, and I’m going to California First Class."

So the stewardess gets the captain, and the captain walks over to where the twink is sitting and says, "Look young man, you buy a coach ticket, you sit in coach."

And the twink rakes the captian’s body over with his eyes, gives him a friendly smile, leans back in his seat, stretches indulgently and says "I’m young, I’m hot, I’m going to California First Class."

Then a steward walks up and says to the captain, "I’ll handle this." And he walks over to the twink and says "Honey, you’re young, you’re hot and you’re going to California in coach."  And the twink looks up at him very annoyed and says "No, I’m young, I’m hot, and I’m going to California First Class."  And then the steward leans over and whispers something in the twink’s ear.

The twink immediately jumps up and runs back to the coach section and sits down.  The captain gives the steward a puzzled look and asks, "What did you just tell him?"

And the steward says, "I told him First Class wasn’t going to California."

This sort of thing is how the intelligent get revenge on the beautiful.