Bruce Garrett Cartoon
The Cartoon Gallery

A Coming Out Story
A Coming Out Story

My Photo Galleries
New and Improved!

Past Web Logs
The Story So Far archives

My Amazon.Com Wish List

My Myspace Profile

Bruce Garrett's Profile
Bruce Garrett's Facebook profile

Blogs I Read!

Wayne Besen

Box Turtle Bulletin

Daily Kos

Mike Daisy's Blog

The Disney Blog

Disney Gossip

Brad DeLong

Dispatches From The Culture Wars

Epcot Explorer's Encyclopedia

Envisioning The American Dream


Ex-Gay Watch


Joe. My. God

Made In Brazil

Peterson Toscano

Progress City USA




Fear the wrath of Sparky!

Truth Wins Out Blog

Wil Wheaton

Gone But Not Forgotten

The Rittenhouse Review

Steve Gilliard's News Blog

Steve Gilliard's Blogspot Site

Great Cartoon Sites!

Howard Cruse Central

Tripping Over You
Tripping Over You


Scandinavia And The World

Dope Rider

The World Of Kirk Anderson

Ann Telnaes' Cartoon Site

Ted Rall

Bors Blog

John K

Penny Arcade

Friendly Hostility

Downstairs Apartment

Other News & Commentary

Amtrak In The Heartland

Corridor Capital

Maryland Weather Blog

Foot's Forecast

All Facts & Opinions

Baltimore Crime



Page One Q
(GLBT News)

Michelangelo Signorile

The Smirking Chimp

Talking Points Memo

Truth Wins Out

The Raw Story


International News & Views


NIS News Bulletin (Dutch)

Mexico Daily

The Local (Sweden)

News & Views from Germany

Spiegel Online

The Local

Deutsche Welle

Young Germany

Fun Stuff

It's not news. It's FARK

Plan 59

Pleasant Family Shopping

Discount Stores of the 60s


Photos of the Forgotten


Comics With Problems

HMK Mystery Streams

Mercedes Love!

Mercedes-Benz USA

Mercedes-Benz TV

Mercedes-Benz Owners Club of America

MBCA - Greater Washington Section


Mercedes-Benz Blog

BenzWorld Forum

October 12th, 2011

Sex And Silliness

From Sullivan, who posts on the heterosexual version of Grindr…

Marshall Sella went undercover to understand the allure of the gay-cruising app. After interviewing the men who met up with him, he applied his knowledge to Blendr, the straight version:

In large part, human interaction is irrational or it is nothing. This is especially true with dumb sex. Dumb sex makes a fool of logic. If you’re the man who has a “type” in romance, you probably also have a “system” at cards. Blendr is built on these insights into our silliness and our strangeness, and instead of finding you the person you think you’re looking for, the software opens your eyes to the people around you.

The person you think you’re looking for… No jackass.  I have a type in romance…which is to say I know what my libido is sexually attracted to and what it is not, and what sort of person I am emotionally attracted to and what sort of person I am not.  Combine sexual attractiveness with emotional attractiveness and you have your romantic type.  That is, if you are even the type who is into romance.  A lot of people aren’t.  If you aren’t…look…don’t even think for one second you grok those of us who are.  You don’t.  You can’t.  Clearly, it isn’t you.

Dumb sex makes a fool of logic… Well no…actually the fool is you.  Knowing what works and what doesn’t work for you romantically isn’t the same as thinking you have a system for playing cards.  You might have a system for finding and dating your romantic type that works as well (or not) as your system at cards but that is a separate thing from who you are, and who you are not attracted do.  And you almost get it when you say that sex can make a fool of logic.  It’s making a fool of yours right now.

Yes…libido has its own separate and relentless logic and you just have to accept that it will want what it wants.  It isn’t something you can switch on and off, it isn’t a blackboard you can wipe clean and scribble onto it whatever you’d rather have there.  It is what it is. Your gay neighbors understand (or they damn well ought to) how that is…

This switch does not exist

We learn to deal with it.  You can too.  But that’s just the desire part. Then there is this thing we tend to refer to metaphorically as the “Heart”.  It has its own logic too.  My libido may or may not tick like yours.  Likewise for my heart.

You may think the heart part doesn’t matter, or isn’t important, or it always gets shoved into the car and taken for a ride to the nearest motel by the libido part…but that’s just how it looks to you. A lot of people probably share your point of view.  A lot of people don’t.  We’re not naive. You are, if you think your point of view is the only realistic one.

It’s like the lady said:  Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies. But also like the man said:  When you die you’re going to regret the things you don’t do. You think you’re queer? I’m going to tell you something: we’re all queer. You think you’re a thief? So what? You get befuddled by a middle-class morality? Get shut of it. Shut it out. You cheat on your wife? You did it, live with it. You fuck little girls, so be it. There’s an absolute morality? Maybe. And then what? If you think there is, go ahead, be that thing. Bad people go to hell? I don’t think so. If you think that, act that way. A hell exists on earth? Yes. I won’t live in it.

If Grindr is your thing then go for it.  If random casual sex is your thing, fine.  Be that.  If you wake up next morning in bed with a total stranger and you’re feeling ashamed like you always do when you do that then stop doing that.  If a new conquest every night makes you feel like you’re on top of the world then bask in the glory.  But don’t fucking tell me that something like Grindr “opens your eyes to the people around you.”  Hahahaha….that’s bullshit.  It’s the kind of bullshit people tell themselves because they’re afraid of being called pigs and sluts.

Look…admit it…Grindr just a goddamned sex park and if you’re there then clearly it’s because you want to be an item on somebody’s menu.  Fine.  No, really.  It’s Okay.  If that’s you, then go ahead and be that.  If you think all that dating and romance stuff is for children and arrested adolescents who still cry when Rick tells Ilsa they’ll always have Paris then so be it.  Life is short.  As long as everyone knows what they’re in it for and they treat the people they take into their arms honestly and decently then for god’s sake go ahead and just whore around if that’s what you want.  Sex is wonderful!

Life is good.  Don’t end up on your death bed with a lot of regrets about everything (everyone) you didn’t do when you had a chance to.  There’s nothing to be ashamed of here.  Admit it: you don’t actually want to get to know any of those people, just fuck them.  Grindr is telling you everything you want to know about them, and nothing you couldn’t care less about.  Are they sexy…yes or no…are they close at hand…is there someplace nearby I can get them alone and horizontal…

I am not being cynical here.  This poor angry world, I am convinced, would be a much nicer, more peaceful and productive place, if everyone was a bit more sexually fulfilled.  What we all need to understand in the pursuit of that great big beautiful tomorrow however, is that one person’s paradise is another person’s trailer park.  I get that.  You need to get it too.

Now kindly get the fuck off our backs.  You don’t get romantics.  You never will.  Now go away.


[Edited a tad for clarity…]

Comments are closed.

Visit The Woodward Class of '72 Reunion Website For Fun And Memories,

    What I'm Currently Reading...

    What I'm Currently Watching...

    What I'm Currently Listening To...

    Comic Book I've Read Recently...


    This page and all original content copyright © 2015 by Bruce Garrett. All rights reserved. Send questions, comments and hysterical outbursts to:

    This blog is powered by WordPress and is hosted at MomoWeb. Some custom design was done by Winters Web Works. Some embedded content was created with the help of Adobe Photoshop for MacOS and/or The Gimp. I proof with Firefox on either Windows, Linux or MacOS depending on which machine I happen to be running at the time.