Has it been a year already?   Another bright-eyed and bushy tailed spring, ready and eager to take on the world with bright cheerful blossoms full of color and delight, fading…fading…into dogged summer, hanging on long after the blooms are just a playful memory, hanging on…hanging on…hanging on…then one final burst of hopeful autumn color, only to end up in the dead of winter buried in ice and snow, with nothing but brief barren daylight and bitter eternal cold to look forward to?   Why…yes…yes it is!

It’s the time of year when we pay tribute to that which is most deeply human within us.   The heart?   Well…Not Exactly.   That almost infinite ability of the human heart to bleed?   Hahahaha…no.   But close.     No, no…we come together every time this year to celebrate the knife in the heart.

From: "Barnes & Noble" <BarnesandNobleEmail@e.bn.com>
To: bruce
Subject: Nothing Says "LOVE" Like 10% Off

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Nothing says love like ten percent off!   Eighty dollar roses for a mere twenty bucks!   Valentine’s Day Lap Dances!   It can only mean one thing…it’s time once again for our annual Casa del Garrett Valentine’s Day Poster Contest!   A celebration of the spirit of Valentine’s Day, that traditionally begins with the following announcement:

We’re terribly sorry, but the deadline for entries has already passed.   I’m afraid the deadline had already passed when I announced the start of this year’s contest.   I know you must feel terrible about this.   Don’t blame yourself.   It isn’t you, it’s me.   Please try to find it within yourself to forgive me.

Now that that’s out of the way, let us pause for a moment and reflect on our past.   Because after all, endlessly digging up and reburying the past is part of what makes Valentine’s Day so very special!   Here are some of our worthy losers from days gone by.   They came oh so close to the big prize, only to walk away confused as to what went so terribly wrong.   All those endless nights they have spent afterward tossing and turning, wondering what they could have done differently, was its own very special Valentine’s Day prize that they are all still enjoying to this very day!

These contestants gave it their all, only to have their personal best cast aside as if they never even existed.   Then they all received our very special   consolation prize handshake, followed by helpful advice to get out more often and meet people.

But our winners were truly one with the spirit of Valentine’s Day.   This one, from our Very First poster contest is still my personal favorite:

But let us not forget our other winners, without whom there would not have been so many losers, so lost, so dazed and bewildered.   This is one of our year two winners (Yes…there was a tie!)

And finally…our year three winner who gave us all words to live by…

This year’s crop of oh so painfully earnest hopefuls will have to work extra hard to achieve glory.   They are going to have to give it everything they’ve got to give…only to spend the rest of their lives blaming themselves for not giving it even more when they had the chance.   They will spend long sleepless nights minutely re-examining everything they did, trying to pin point exactly where they went wrong, then dreaming hopeless dreams of getting a second chance to do it all differently and make everything right again.   If that scene in The Yearling where Jody shoots Flag is your favorite part of the movie then you have certainly come to the right place!

Tomorrow we begin our annual celebration of the knife in the heart.   Love is in the bag!   Let the twisting begin!