Clearly, this poor lost fuckless soul is not one with the spirit of Valentine’s Day…

Male Rights Activist Calls for Valentine’s Day Boycott

Any guy who gives flowers on Feb. 14 is a blooming idiot.

So says Marc Rudov, a relationship expert in Los Gatos, Calif., who is on a campaign to get American men to boycott Valentine’s Day.

According to Rudov, who has authored books such as “Under the Clitoral Hood: How to Crank Her Engine Without Cash, Booze or Jumper Cables,” believes Valentine’s Day should be canceled permanently because it promotes unequality of the sexes.

No, no…   That sense that you have been cast forever into the status of abject inferiority is all just part of the light-hearted carefree Fun!   Smile…You Are Not Worthy!

Need some jumper cables there guy?   Well…you could go buy yourself some flowers and chocolate and send yourself a Valentine’s Day card from that imaginary girl friend whose engine you crank every night at bedtime.   Or…

…you could enter our Forth Annual Casa del Garrett Valentine’s Day Poster Contest!   That is…if you can manage to slip your worthy entry in before the deadline passes.   So Hurry…the deadline is February 5!   You might just make it.   It’s a slim, almost totally hopeless chance…one in a million.   No…one in a zilllion.   One in a Bazillion.   You’d be crazy to even think of trying.   But…isn’t that one slim chance of success in the face of certain doom worth the risk?   You might just beat the odds after all.   Maybe.   Just maybe.   If you don’t try you’ll wonder for the rest of your life if you might have won The Big Prize after all.   So do it!   Go for it man!   Crank that engine!   Remember…deadline is February 5th.   If you give it your all you might just make it.